SNL: Kacey Musgraves, Owen Wilson, Kenan Thompson (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Hello, readers, you are now about to read my review of Saturday Night Live‘s Season 47 premiere, which was hosted by Mr. Owen Wilson with musical guest Ms. Kacey Musgraves. I like to mix up my review style every once in a while, so for this episode, I will talk about the sketches in the reverse order in which they aired. I don’t think I’ll be doing that for every episode this season; instead, I’ll be mixing it up … we’ll see how it goes!

Also, I should mention that I’m in the midst of training for the New York City Marathon, so if it feels like my review was written after running double-digit miles, now you know why.

Robinson’ Mail-In Stool Testing: Do people worry if their stools get messed around with after they’ve sent them to a testing center? I don’t think that would be a big deal for me, honestly.

NFL on FOX: Doesn’t Joe Buck normally wear his glasses? Not if James Austin Johnson is doing an impression of him, apparently! Anyway, the stuff with “Crazy House” was delightfully loony. It sounds weirdly progressive, so that’s cool.

Kacey Musgraves, “camera roll”: Popular singing artist Kacey Musgraves’ second song was “camera roll,” which had me thinking: what if a camera roll were a dinner roll? Also, I hope that stage floor was clean (because she was barefoot).

Funeral Song: I’ll be happy to be legally compliant by always including that “B.” in Levar B. Burton. And as someone who grew up in Pennsylvania right next to New Jersey, I was tickled pink that Levar B.’s bus path went via Seacaucus via Hershey.

Now we come to the Weekend Update portion of the review, which is a little tricky when going backwards, since Colin and Michael’s jokes are interspersed in between the guest segments. But since their first jokes come first, I’ll deal with them last.

Update ended with a Tribute to the Dearly Departed Norm Macdonald, which just consisted of some vintage jokes from his time as the Update anchor, which I’m certainly not going to complain about.

Pete Davidson: 3 Blind Mice Selling Fentanyl … new indie band name?

A Black Woman Who’s Been Missing for 10 Years: Ego Nwodim has a knack for taking a simple concept to extremes.

Michael and Colin: I laughed particularly hard at the jokes involving Macklemore at Olive Garden and the white paint (the latter of which sounded like it was one that Che wrote for Colin).

Kacey Musgraves, “justified”: Kacey was bathed in purple light during her first performance, which I believe fits her aura.

District 7 School Board Meeting: Damn, misreading “separate” as “segregate” hit hard and silly.

Cars 4: In what is characterized as “a real departure for the character,” Owen Wilson isn’t so sure he’s into the new womanizing, insensitive direction for Lightning McQueen. I can see why!

Star Trek: Ego Quest: Worth checking out for 82-year-old Wally Funk.

The Talking: Really just a wonderfully insightful deconstruction of The View and its other female-fronted “issues of the day” daytime talk show ilk. We didn’t really need the timeliness of the on-screen positive COVID test reveals, but at least those went in a positively silly direction.

Owen Wilson’s Monologue: Owen’s got, as he said, “all the ambition of a golden retriever lying next to a fire.” And you know what? He displayed that energy throughout the episode.

Message From the President: Brand new cast member James Austin Johnson debuts his Joe Biden impression on the airwaves, and it’s pretty solid. I think I would have preferred if this sketch was just him. Cold openings tend to get pretty crowded these days.

All right, that’s everything. I made it through this review without any serious injuries, and I hope you did, too. See you next Saturday as we go (Kardashian) West and Halsey!