Oh Bother, It’s Time for ‘Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey’!

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NOT PICTURED: Winnie the Pooh (CREDIT: Altitude Films/Screenshot)

Starring: Nikolai Leon, Maria Taylor, Craig David Dowsett, Chris Cordell, Natasha Rose Mills, Amber Doig-Thorne, Danielle Ronald, Natasha Tosini, Paula Coiz, May Kelly, Danielle Scott

Director: Rhys Frake-Waterfield

Running Time: 84 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: February 15, 2023 (Theaters)

I think Christopher Robin took a wrong turn somewhere.

This is not our beautiful Pooh! This is not our beautiful Hundred Acre Wood!

Is that a Candyman influence I see? Maybe he and Pooh just independently have a thing for bees.

Where was Eeyore?

Grade: “Oh Bother” Times Infinity

‘Emily’ Taps Into Some of That Patented Brontë Passion

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Emily, not the Criminal (CREDIT: Bleecker Street)

Starring: Emma Mackey, Fionn Whitehead, Oliver-Jackson Cohen, Alexandra Dowling, Amelia Githing, Adrian Dunbar, Gemma Jones

Director: Frances O’Connor

Running Time: 130 Minutes

Rating: R for Opium and Heaving Bosoms

Release Date: February 17, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Emily Brontë (Emma Mackey) has a terrible case of Middle Child Syndrome! Her older sister Charlotte (Alexandra Dowling) calls her “the Strange One,” while their younger sister Anne (Amelia Gething) seems to skate by without anyone giving her guff for anything. Why can’t they just leave her be? They’ve all got the literary bug, after all! At least Emily can lean on her similarly misunderstood brother Branwell (Fionn Whitehead) for support. And then there are her explosive French lessons with her tutor William Weightman (Oliver-Jackson Cohen), which eventually erupt into something stunningly passionate. Meanwhile, Brontë patriarch Patrick (Adrian Dunbar) just doesn’t seem to understand any of his children.

What Made an Impression?: Despite being an English major, I don’t have much experience with the work of the Brontë sisters, and Emily forced me to take stock of what I do know about them. I’m aware that Charlotte wrote Jane Eyre, and I’ve seen the 2011 adaptation of that one starring Mia Wasikowska and directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga. Meanwhile, when I hear the name “Anne Brontë,” the first thing I think of is the time that Jeopardy! champ Roger Craig quadrupled his score in the span of two clues. And of course I’ve heard that Emily wrote Wuthering Heights, but the only one of its many adaptations that I’ve ever seen is the semaphore version from Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

This is all to say that I came into Emily as a bit of a blank slate! Or at least something close to it. I was completely unfamiliar with Ms. Middle Brontë’s “Strange One” reputation, and let me tell you: I thought it was a bunch of baloney! And I think that was the reaction that writer-director Frances O’Connor was going for. So mission accomplished there on revising the historical record.

Other than that, Emily struck me as a fairly typical example of both a pastoral English period piece and a literary biography. Which is to say: filled with internal distress and verdant passion that can’t quite match the fictional output of its subject. But then we get into the love affair, and oh my, is it a lot more explicit than I was expecting! Let’s just say, that R rating is earned. I won’t ever underestimate you again, cast and crew of Emily.

Emily is Recommended If You Like: Bodice-ripping

Grade: 3 out of 5 Cliffs

‘Of an Age’ is Low-Key, Queer, and Australian. But What Does That Mean for You, the Viewer?

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They’re herrrrre! (CREDIT: Ben King / © Of An Age Films Pty Ltd)

Starring: Elias Anton, Thom Green, Hattie Hook

Director: Goran Stolevski

Running Time: 99 Minutes

Rating: R for A Sexual Awakening or Two

Release Date: February 17, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Life as a teenage Serbian immigrant in 1999 Australia may not be the most ideal scenario for coming out of the closet. (Of course, what even is an ideal scenario?) But sometimes you have an unexpected experience that forces you to admit who you really are. That’s what happens to Kol (Elias Anton) on a day that starts about as disastrously as possible. His friend and ballroom dancing partner Ebony (Hattie Hook) is lost in the middle of nowhere after a drunken night out, so Kol enlists her older brother Adam (Thom Green) to help track her down in a quixotic bid to get to their performance in time. A fitting choreographic conclusion might not be in the cards, but when Adam offhandedly mentions that his ex was a guy, Kol’s conception of his own world suddenly opens up exponentially.

What Made an Impression?: As far as tragic queer romances go, Of an Age is hardly revolutionary, but it’s certainly heartfelt. And frankly, it could’ve been a lot more tragic. It’s not exactly a spoiler to reveal that Kol and Adam’s story isn’t a simple fairy tale “happily ever after.” But the 21st century offers the potential of plenty of fulfillment for both of them. This might not be the story of meeting The One against seemingly insurmountable odds, but it is a story about a formative experience that’s worth telling.

But I’m going to be honest with you: my enjoyment of Of an Age had relatively little to do with whether or not any attractions were or weren’t consummated, and a whole lot more to do with Kol and Ebony annihilating the dancefloor to the tune of Nelly Furtado’s “Maneater” when we zip ahead to her wedding in 2010. Ebony is a piece of work, but she’s the kind of piece of work who you look back at and go, “You know what? I’m glad we met when we did and that we’ve kept in touch all these years.” And “Maneater” is a bop that simply cannot be resisted no matter how much you’re struggling with your identity.

Of an Age is Recommended If You Like: Sheilas

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 House Parties

‘All Quiet on the Western Lunch’ (JK, It’s ‘Front,’ But I Am Hungry)

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How QUIET is it?! (CREDIT: Reiner Bajo/Netflix)

Starring: Felix Kammerrer, Albrecht Schuch, Aaron Hilmer, Moritz Klaus, Adrian Grünewald, Edin Hasanovic, Daniel Brühl, Thibault de Montalembert, Devid Striesow, Andreas Döhler, Sebastian Hülk

Director: Edward Berger

Running Time: 147 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: October 7, 2022 (Theaters)/October 28, 2022 (Netflix)

I finally got around to seeing All Quiet on the Western Front to make sure I caught all the Best Picture nominees. It was playing at the Alamo Drafthouse, so I ordered a milkshake topped with a giant cookie and some donut holes. As it turns out, you CAN enjoy the sweetest of desserts while watching the deadliest of war flicks. (Although it is worth noting that I finished it up before the most gruesome sequences.) I’m pretty sure I read the book years ago for school, but I don’t remember much about it. I was reminded of 1917: World War I, technical achievements, not much else.

Grade: The Milkshake Was Great!

That’s Auntertainment! Karaoke Korner 33

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How about this: Dad/Brother Bob has already provided a Karaoke Korner setlist, and now he’s BACK with another.

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 2/10/23

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𝄞Now you’re just somebody that I used to know from one of the best TV shows of all time!𝄞 (CREDIT: Amazon Prime Video)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Consecration (Theaters) – A religiously themed horror movie starring Jena Malone.
Magic Mike’s Last Dance (Theaters)
Somebody I Used to Know (February 10 on Amazon Prime) – Husband-wife team Alison Brie and Dave Franco wrote a screenplay together. Danny Pudi is in the cast, too.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (Fathom Events Screenings Beginning February 15) – Oh bother, Pooh Bear is in the public domain now.

TV
-Puppy Bowl XIX (February 12 on Animal Planet) – This year’s edition will be simulcast on Discovery Channel, TBS, HBO Max, and discovery+.
The Masked Singer Season 9 Premiere (February 15 on FOX)
Animal Control Series Premiere (February 16 on FOX) – Starring Joel McHale and animals.

Music
-Paramore, This Is Why
-Rebecca Black, Let Her Burn – Yes, that Rebecca Black.
-Yo La Tengo, This Stupid World

Sports
-Super Bowl LVII (February 12 on FOX) – Rihanna at halftime.

jmunney’s Favorite Albums of 2022

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Before publishing this list, I listened to each of these albums again to make sure that I still liked them. And I did! (But there was one other that I had on my preliminary list that I ultimately decided I didn’t like enough to include. Bonus points if you can guess what it was.)

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Please! One More! Okay, But This is ‘Magic Mike’s Last Dance’

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(CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Channing Tatum, Salma Hayek, Ayub Khan Din, Juliette Motamed, Jemelia George, Vicki Pepperine

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for Unstoppable Gyrations (with Permission)

Release Date: February 10, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: If Michael Jeffrey Lane stopped dancing, would there be any reason to make a movie about him anymore? I’d like to think so, but thankfully we haven’t had to face that possibility yet so far. Although, when we meet him at the beginning of Magic Mike’s Last Dance, he’s been out of the game for quite a while. Instead, he’s a gig worker serving bar at a generic fancy event, when he’s recognized by a satisfied customer from back in the day. Then word gets around to Max Mendoza (Salma Hayek, credited with her married name of “Pinault”), who hires for him a private dance. Then immediately afterwards she whisks him off to England to mount a live dance revue on a stuffy London stage. Max is basically using her obscene wealth to get back at her soon-to-be-ex-husband, but when the moves are this electric, who’s complaining?

What Made an Impression?: Magic Mike’s Last Dance kicks off with some narration that contextualizes Mike’s plight in the entire evolutionary history of dance. That voiceover comes courtesy of Jemelia George, who also plays Max’s over-it teenage daughter Zadie. We learn later that Zadie is writing a novel, so I then girded myself for the big reveal that Zadie was actually the author of Mike’s odyssey this whole time. Spoiler Alert: no such luck, but the narration is still plenty effective, offering a sort of grad school thesis-style framework. Channing Tatum’s piercing facial expressions can come across as empty in ungenerous interpretations, but with Zadie’s guidance, there’s no way not to see his journey as deeply yearning and humanistically profound.

Anyway, I’m sure everyone wants to know how much Tatum and Hayek sizzle up the screen together. And obviously they do, there’s no reason to worry about that. Mike and Max’s first encounter is the most brazenly sensual cinematic sequence I’ve seen since the last Magic Mike. For the rest of the movie, they settle into more of a sugar-and-spice odd couple routine, which is nice enough to move the whole thing along.

But obviously we’re all here for the grand finale. And let’s make no bones about it: Mike and his crew do not hold back. The staging is perfectly framed, the buildup gets all the right pieces together, and you can feel the crowd’s cheeky energy. Fascinatingly enough, I was most blown away by the emcee who introduces the dancers. She’s played by Juliette Motamed, who discovers untold delights in describing the fireworks shooting off around her. The pleasure is palpable, and there’s simply no reason to resist.

Magic Mike’s Last Dance is Recommended If You Like: Leaving Every Last Inch of Yourself on the Stage

Grade: 4 out of 5 Thrusts

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: Pedro Pascal/Coldplay

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Brr! This episode was very Chile. (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

I’ve seen Pedro Pascal on my TV more than once. And now I’m seeing him again! That exclamation point is because as of February 4, 2023, he’s an SNL host. And nobody can ever take that away from him!

Coldplay’s the musical guest, but that’s nothing new.

This is the first episode of February, so to celebrate, I’m going to review each sketch according to the format “I ❤️ (something).”

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That’s Auntertaiment Mini-Episode: What’s Jeff Watching? #5

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You’re the Gold now, Man! (CREDIT: Peacock/Screenshot)

Take a leap and knock at my poker face: it’s Paul T. Goldman!

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