Kelce, meet Kelsea. Kelsea, meet Kelce. (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

The March 4, 2023 edition of Saturday Night Live was hosted by Super Bowl-winning football professional Travis Kelce, with the musical guest being country performer Kelsea Ballerini. It was the first time on the venerable sketch institution for both of them, a huge departure from last week’s episode.

In case you were wondering, yes, “Kelce” and “Kelsea” are pronounced the same, so therefore I just had to include homophones in my thoughts on every one of this episode’s sketches.

Fox & Friends: The opening sketch features some confusion between Rupert Murdoch and Alex Murdaugh, and those are indeed homophonic surnames, so we’re off to a great start!

Travis Kelce’s Monologue: Travis presents a happy ending about smoking weed and being bad at school, but I think we’d better be careful about the moral of that story.

American Girl Café: You’ll find Travis’ character on the “Hungriest Customer List,” and this sketch will not be fined for lack of laughs.

please don’t destroy: Self-Defense: When we hear the please don’t destroy boys making pleas for their safety, it’s worth a watch.

Mama’s Funeral: Travis’ character is called “Vanillosaurus Rex,” but the only things he wrecks are the bad vibes, lol.

Straight Male Friend: Lo and behold, gay men can now have “low-effort, low-stakes friends,” and when Bowen Yang is making the pitch, I can see the appeal.

Ex-Girlfriend: Confusing Cocaine Bear for Paddington 3 has me pining for a potential Paddington 4 where our marmalade-loving pal gives a hard stare to ursine creatures under the influence.

Kelsea Ballerini, “Blindsided”: I’ll give Kelsea this compliment: the shadowplay was a nice complement to her performance.

Weekend Update: The Jokes: Take me to the pilot of the Weekend Update Ship, so that I can say thank you for the Pontius Pilate Lizard sight gag!
Weekend Update: Dilbert: Now we know that Dilbert knows better when to say “no” (although not entirely, actually).
Weekend Update: Who Does Punkie Mean?: Hoo boy, who knew that Punkie Johnson was in such need of the Mom Celebrity Translator?!
Weekend Update: Sarah’s News (Birthday Edition): I watched this in the morning, and I’m never in mourning when I watch Sarah Sherman deliver the news.

Family Meeting: When James Austin Johnson was on the mic, I was saying “doobie doobie doo,” because he sounded quite a bit like the musical Mike McDonald.

Garrett from Hinge: I’ll tell you one thing: anyone who watched this sketch really won with their TV viewing decisions!

Kelsea Ballerini, “Penthouse”: If you write that Kelsea Ballerini wore white in front of a white piano during this performance, then you would be right. She looked and sounded great!

Too Hot to Handle: None of the characters in this sketch was a nun, but I wondered if maybe they should have been… My mind wandered at this point.

If you prefer your guest lineup without homophones, then tune in next week for host Jenna Ortega and musical guest The 1975!