Pictured: a moment from One of the Battles (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot)
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Chase Infiniti, Teyana Taylor, Sean Penn, Benicio del Toro, Regina Hall, Tony Goldwyn, James Downey, Alana Haim, Wood Harris, Shayna McHayle, Paul Grimstad, Dijon Duenas, John Hoogenakker, Eric Schweig
Director: Paul Thomas Anderson
Running Time: 162 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: September 26, 2025 (Theaters)
Could One Battle for Another be the funniest movie I’ve ever seen that I didn’t laugh once during? Before I ventured out to the multiplex, I’d been seeing a lot of raves calling it pretty dang hilarious in the midst of a wild and high-wire tonal mix. And I can now intellectually confirm what everyone was talking about. Leo D. rolling around on the floor, Benicio del T. doing a little dance on the side of the road – that’s some goofy physicality for ya! Trouble is, these moments are also really TENSE. The whole movie is so goshdang tense! Yeah, these characters do plenty of silly things, but always in situations where getting shot in the head is a real possibility. So keep your head on straight, and you’ll probably enjoy this movie. Maybe not in the exact same way as I did (re: chuckling), but that should still work out okay.
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Time to ball with these cool dudes (CREDIT: Outright Games/Screenshot)
Movie
–One Battle After Another (Theaters)
–The Strangers: Chapter 2 (Theaters)
–Eleanor the Great (Theaters)
TV
–Celebrity Wheel of Fortune Season Premiere (September 26 on ABC)
–Bob’s Burgers Season 16 Premiere (September 28 on FOX)
–Krapopolis Season 3 Premiere (September 28 on FOX)
–The Simpsons Season 37 Premiere (September 28 on FOX)
–Abbott Elementary Season 5 Premiere (October 1 on ABC)
Music
-Fred Armisen, 100 Sound Effects
-Mariah Carey, Here for It All
-Neko Case, Neon Grey Midnight Green
-Doja Cat, Vie
-Zara Larsson, Midnight Sun
-Robert Plant, Saving Grace
-Jeff Tweedy, Twilight Override
Video Games –NBA Bounce (Switch, PS4, PS5, Steam, XBOX One, XBOX Series X|S) – 3-on-3 cartoony basketball.
Starring: Laila Lockhart Kraner, Gloria Estefan, Kristen Wiig, Jason Mantzoukas, Logan Bailey, Fortune Feimster, Thomas Lennon, Melissa Villaseñor, Ego Nwodim, Matty Matheson, Juliet Donenfeld, Eduardo Franco, Maggie Lowe, Sainty Nelsen, Donovan Patton, Tara Strong, Carla Tassara, Secunda Wood, Kyle Mooney
Director: Ryan Crego
Running Time: 98 Minutes
Rating: G (Although Some of the Jokes Are Cheekily Off-Color in a Kid-Friendly Way)
Release Date: September 26, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Based on the Netflix series of the same name, Gabby’s Dollhouse: The Movie introduces the multiplex-frequenting public to the titular young woman (Laila Lockhart Kraner) and her titular feline-filled toy abode. She and her grandma Gigi (Gloria Estefan) make their way to “Cat Francisco,” which is just one part of a cat-tacularly pun-filled alterna-USA wherein Gabby has the power to shrink down into a cartoon version of herself to truly hang out in the dollhouse. But disaster strikes when her Gabby Cats end up in the villainous claws of Vera (Kristen Wiig), a cat lady who’s forgotten how to play with her toys in favor of just collecting them. So Gabby and Gigi set out on a rescue mission to retrieve her best friends. But meanwhile, she’ll have to watch out for the seen-it-all kitty Chumsley (Jason Mantzoukas), who suspects that Gabby might have outgrown the wonders of the dollhouse.
What Made an Impression?: Virginia Horsen Energy:GD: The Movie is obviously not made for adult film critics. It looks like the show is basically the Blue’s Clues of its time, which is to say it’s primarily for the preschool set. Maybe the big screen version is aiming a few ages higher, while parents can theoretically keep their sanity by focusing on Kristen Wiig as the femme fatale. To her credit, she does indeed give a much stranger performance than you would expect to find in a G-rated flick for tykes. Vera legitimately could’ve been a beloved recurring character on SNL back during An Golden Era. What’s Up, Jerks?: Even more bizarre than Wiig’s presence is the top billing of Jason Mantzoukas in an all-ages affair. Maybe my sense or reality has been warped by all my years of listening to How Did This Get Made?, but it really did feel like Chumsley might just shout “What’s up, jerks?!” at any point. And I really did think while watching, “Is this a Jacob’s Ladder Scenario?” If Gabby’s Dollhouse has all along been a sneaky operation to get the next generation hooked on deranged comedy, then I gotta say that the kids’ll be all right. The Rest is Cacophony: If it sounds like I’ve become a low-key Gabby’s Dollhouse superfan, well, that’s because I only focused on the few parts that I enjoyed in spite of everything else. The rest of it was just a big blur of candy colors and chaotic cupcake explosions that subtly declared, “You can just let your mind wander and think about whatever.” I was somewhat intrigued by the messy assemblage of the soundtrack, which included the likes of a recent chart-topper by Bruno Mars, the All-4-One ballad “I Swear,” the worldbeat hit “Makeba” by French singer Jain, and something that I’m pretty sure is entitled “Skibidi Meow.” So in conclusion: this movie has several bizarre beats that might just stick with me, but otherwise it’ s a low-rent Toy Story 2.
Gabby’s Dollhouse: The Movie is Recommended If You Like: Cats that can cry sprinkles
Starring: Hugh Bonneville, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter, Raquel Cassidy, Paul Copley, Brendan Coyle, Michelle Dockery, Kevin Doyle, Michael Fox, Joanne Froggatt, Paul Giamatti, Harry Hadden-Paton, Robert James-Collier, Allen Leech, Phyllis Logan, Elizabeth McGovern, Sophie McShera, Lesley Nicol, Douglas Reith, Dominic West, Penelope Wilton, Simon Russell Beale, Alessandro Nivola, Arty Froushan, Joely Richardson
Director: Simon Curtis
Running Time: 124 Minutes
Rating: PG
Release Date: September 12, 2025 (Theaters)
Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale very much feels like it’s about the end of an era. Much the same way that the first Downton Abbey movie and Downton Abbey: A New Era felt like they were about the end of an era. I’ve never seen a single episode of the same-named TV show that these films are based on, but I’m going to guess that it also had something to do with reckoning with the end of an era. Anyway, in this latest edition, that reckoning mostly consists of the Crawleys dealing with the possibility that they might have to live somewhere else, maybe even an apartment*! (*-Aka a “flat” in Britspeak.) Of course, in that scenario Robert must first learn what a flat even is. Lol. In the midst of all that, some unsavory character tries to pull a big con on the Grantham crew, which sure seems like a looming disaster. But then they get rid of him by basically just saying “You get outta here” a la Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig. And then it’s time to go home, I guess.
Chips on the side? Yes, please! I’ve just got to have something crispy to accompany my sandwiches. I’ve grabbed plenty of bags and tins off grocery store shelves over the years, so I decided to go ahead and rank my favorites that have earned a permanent or semi-permanent place in my cabinet. I’m not including too much by way of explanation in this list, but please feel free to analyze my selections yourself to see if you can figure out my taste bud profile.
TV
–99 to Beat Series Premiere (September 21 on FOX) – Is this game show giving off Double Dare vibes to anyone else?
–The Lowdown Series Premiere (September 23 on FX) – Starring Ethan Hawke; created by Reservation Dogs co-creator Sterlin Harjo.
–The Floor Season 4 Premiere (September 24 on FOX) – It’s the Battle of the States this season!
–Marvel Zombies Series Premiere (September 25 on Disney+) – This is just four episodes, so maybe I’ll have time to fit it all in.
Music
-Cardi B, Am I the Drama?
-The Favors, The Dream – Supergroup consisting of Ashe and Finneas.
-Sarah McLachlan, Better Broken
-Toro y Moi, Hole Erth
Starring: Tyriq Withers, Marlon Wayans, Julia Fox, Tim Heidecker, Jim Jefferies, Naomi Grossman, GiGi Erneta, Norman Towns, Maurice Greene, Guapdad 4000, Tierra Whack, Don Benjamin
Director: Justin Tipping
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Rating: R for Odd and Grotesque Behavior, Athletic Nudity, and Questionable Performance Enhancement
Release Date: September 19, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Isaiah White (Marlon Wayans) is indisputably the greatest quarterback of his generation and possibly all time. But rumor has it that he’s retiring soon. That’s where Cam Cade (Tyriq Withers) comes in: he’s been worshipping Isaiah his entire life, and everyone around has been pretty much grooming him to be the next GOAT. He lives up to that promise in college, and he’s all set to fulfill his destiny in the pros, but then a mysterious masked figure whacks him on the head. His draft stuck plummets as he recovers from this traumatic injury, but then he’s given a second chance when he’s invited to train at Isaiah’s private desert facility. However, that’s when it becomes inescapably clear that football stardom is a lot weirder, freakier, and more cultish than he bargained for.
What Made an Impression?: Would Roger Goodell Like This?: I’m pretty sure the National Football League wants absolutely nothing to do with Him. Or at the very least, they want it to be clear that this is NOT set in the NFL. Or the makers of Him assumed that’s how they would feel. Which means that instead of playing for the Patriots or the Cowboys or the Chiefs, Isaiah White is instead the QB for the San Antonio Saviors of the (kind of hilariously) fictional United States Football Federation. Ergo, we’ve got an alternate universe where the NFL is replaced by the USFF, but just as obsessively beloved. So if you follow the gridiron religiously in real life, you’ll find Him to be an uncanny mix of deeply familiar and outright foreign. That’s the Way It Goes…Or Is It?: Let’s go ahead and identify the central metaphor: it’s all about how becoming the Football GOAT (or a sports superstar in general) is about fully sacrificing your sense of self. You may seem like one of the most powerful people on the planet, but truthfully it’s the hangers-on and team ownership and all of society that have a piece of you and won’t let go. But director Justin Tipping doesn’t always emphasize this point as clearly as he could. He’s made the sort of movie that’s more likely to make you go “What the hell’s going on?” rather than “Oh, I get it.” That’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially when you’re working in the horror milieu, but I would’ve recommended a more cohesive vision. Never a Boring Day: But let’s talk about some of those more bizarre flourishes. A man decked out in body paint screams “Baa!” A superfan of Isaiah’s spits in Cam’s general direction. Major collisions give way to X-ray style views of the player’s skeletons. Plus, the supporting cast is delightfully demented, especially Tim Heidecker as Cam’s deceptively presentable agent and Julia Fox as Isaiah’s erotic stone-hawking influencer wife. The point is, Him doesn’t lack for memorable details or visual flourishes. It probably won’t make you re-evaluate everything about a particular sports league, but it could stick with you here and there.
Him is Recommended If You Like: Comedians Going Dramatic in a Cuckoo Way, Bloody Smiles, Pagan-Style Cosplay
The colors are Bold, that’s for sure (CREDIT: Sony Pictures Entertainment)
Starring: Colin Farrell, Margot Robbie, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Kevin Kline, Lily Rabe, Jodie Turner-Smith, Billy Magnussen, Sarah Gadon, Hamish Linklater, Chloe East, Yuvi Hecht
Director: Kogonada
Running Time: 109 Minutes
Rating: R for Some Naughty Words Here and There (Though It’s Giving PG Energy Otherwise)
Release Date: September 19, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: On his way to a wedding, a man named David (Colin Farrell) picks up a vehicle from a car rental agency operated by a couple of oddballs (Phoebe Waller-Bridge and an unrecognizable Kevin Kline). At the ceremony, he’s introduced to Sarah (Margot Robbie), who lives in the same city as him. They have a meet-sorta-cute, but they’re ready to head straight home afterwards, that is, until his car’s GPS (voiced by Jodie Turner-Smith) promises to take them on – as the title specifies – A Big Bold Beautiful Journey. This adventure consists of walking through a series of freestanding doors that allow them re-experience key moments from their pasts. Is this the universe – or that car rental place – going out of its way to bring these two together? If that is indeed what is fated to happen, then they’ll have to learn to let go of all their baggage along the way.
What Made an Impression?: All the Typical Doors:A Big Bold Beautiful Journey offers the sort of nakedly magical realist premise that you just have to buy into if you want to derive any sort of enjoyment out of it. If you’re into that thing in general, you’ll be happy; if you’re not, you won’t be convinced otherwise. If you’re somewhere in the middle, you might feel flashes of inspiration, but probably not much more. It would help if there were more depth to David and Sarah’s characterizations, but alas, their motivations don’t amount to much beyond “they can’t get over their heartbreaks.” Farrell and Robbie are charming enough guides through this fantasy, but if it’s transcendence you’re after, ABBBJ doesn’t quite deliver. On the Other Side: So yeah, I didn’t exactly love A Big Bold Beautiful Journey, but I did come away with it thinking that you could probably make a decent TV spinoff out of it … if it were focused on the car rental duo, that is. Waller-Bridge and Kline give the sort of lightly mysterious, slightly demented performances that are perfect in a small batch, but would derail the whole proceedings if they were in more than two scenes. Or, they could work in a bigger dose, it would just completely alter the overall tone. Ergo, my desire to see what these two are up to when not interacting with David and Sarah. Exactly What It Says on the Tin: One last fair warning: this movie is filled with so many on-the-nose touches that its septum might completely buckle from all the weight. Someone literally tells David to “be open,” a hotel is called the “Timely Inn,” a cover of Pete Townshend’s “Let My Love Open the Door” plays towards the end. I would assume these were all meant to be jokes if everything else weren’t so earnest. But feel free to assume that someone did a dad joke-focused revision on the script and laugh as much as you want to.
A Big Bold Beautiful Journey is Recommended If You Like: Theater kid energy, Curling up on the couch with your parents, The music and whole vibe of Laufey
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