This Is a Movie Review: Could Kirsten Dunst Shock Wood if ‘Woodshock’ Could Be Good? (Spoiler Alert: It’s Not)

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CREDIT: A24

This review was originally posted on News Cult in September 2017.

Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Pilou Asbæk, Joe Cole, Lorelei Linklater, Jack Kilmer

Directors: Kate and Laura Mulleavy

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: R for Drugs, I Guess?

Release Date: September 22, 2017 (Limited)

The headline for this review was originally going to be “‘Woodshock’ Strands Kirsten Dunst in a Bunch of Random Images,” but then I decided that it would be much more appropriate to go with something nonsensical so as to keep with the spirit of the film. The directorial debut from fashion designer sisters Kate and Laura Mulleavy feels like the creation of people who have never seen a movie before and only understand the medium theoretically. It essentially amounts to an academic (or anti-academic) exercise to determine the meaning of “montage.”

The plot, such as there is one, follows the perpetually on-edge life of Theresa (Dunst) and her husband Keith (Pilou Asbæk). She has recently lost her mother and is probably suffering from depression. They run a marijuana dispensary together … I think. People’s jobs and relationships to each other are not always clear. There is a tragic accident that neither the characters nor the film can come to terms with in any meaningful way.

At some point, according to the synopsis, Theresa ingests an especially potent mind-altering substance. I genuinely do not remember this, though, probably because there is no noticeable shift in the nature of the film at any point. There are some hallucinatory images, a few of which manage to be striking regardless of the context (most notably a house hovering a few feet above the ground amidst a shock of light). But if the drug has any noticeable effect on Theresa, it is perhaps in how it makes her suddenly unable to take a shower or bath. Good lord, there is a huge chunk of the running time devoted to Kirsten Dunst standing still in front of the bathroom mirror.

It is worth wondering why Woodshock fails so spectacularly while similarly subjective and inscrutable works like the oeuvre of David Lynch manage to be so powerfully affecting. Perhaps it is because even if it is not clear what the meaning of the latter is, it is not hard to intuit that there is some meaning. Maybe the Mulleavys do have something worthwhile to say, but they do not yet know how to get that across in cinematic terms.

Woodshock is Recommended If You Like: 2001, but like, on earth; Upstream Color, minus the auteurist bona fides

Grade: 1.5 out of 5 Pleasant Summer Evenings

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Battle of the Sexes’ is More Than Just a Tennis Match

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CREDIT: Melinda Sue Gordon/20th Century Fox

This review was originally posted on News Cult in September 2017.

Starring: Emma Stone, Steve Carell, Andrea Riseborough, Sarah Silverman, Bill Pullman, Elisabeth Shue, Austin Stowell, Alan Cumming, Natalie Morales

Directors: Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris

Running Time: 121 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Systemic Sexism and An Eye-Opening Affair

Release Date: September 22, 2017 (Limited)

The mark of a great biopic is how it transcends its time. It not only illuminates the period it is set in but also the era in which it is released and potentially remains relevant into the future. Battle of the Sexes, a dramatization of the same-named 1973 exhibition tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs and the events leading up to it, is filled with social issues that are still urgently pressing in 2017. When you consider the full scope of human history, the fact that a fight to be taken seriously has lasted at least 44 years ultimately does not seem that unprecedented. But it is frustrating regardless, and it is also galvanizing enough to make a crowd-pleasing narrative out of.

As King, Emma Stone must embody a straightforward, but recognizably human, conflict. She struts around with the indomitable spirit of conviction when fighting for women to be treated equally with the men in her sport, but her personal life is searching for the right identity. She instinctively understands that the real roadblock in her professional fight is not her clownish opponent, but rather, folks like ATP Executive Director Jack Kemp (Bill Pullman), who casually reinforces the status quo with subtly aggressive comments like, “the thing about women is they find it hard to consistently handle the pressure.” But of course King can handle the pressure of tennis’ old guard. What she cannot quite handle, at least not yet as a young adult, is her path towards coming to terms with her own sexuality. The presence in this film of a tantalizing but unsettling affair with another woman is crucial, demonstrating that the political is always personal.

As Riggs, Steve Carell reveals that the trolls of today (who couch their racism and sexism with the “I’m just kidding!” defense) come from a long line of deliberate offenders. He is happy to play the male chauvinist pig, but mainly for the purpose of getting eyeballs on his stunts (though he does play the part quite convincingly). But what drives this long-since retired former world number one is not a desire to reinforce the status quo but an inability to give up the hustle. You could roll your eyes at him all you want, but it is hard not to root for him a little bit, because you can actually see how he might be able to be a better human being.

As a compelling story, Battle of the Sexes is undeniably winning. As cinema, it mostly coasts by on that strength but does not add any particularly unique techniques to the inspirational sports genre. The acting is top-notch, the understanding of the subject matter is astute, the pacing is solid, and the attitude is appropriately calibrated. It is not hitting aces with every scene, but its service game is never broken.

Battle of the Sexes is Recommended If You Like: Bend it Like Beckham, Legally Blonde, Cool Runnings, Scheduling your year around the Grand Slam calendar

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Serve and Volleys

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Stronger’ Pulls No Punches in Dramatizing the Recovery of a Boston Marathon Bombing Victim

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CREDIT: Lionsgate/Roadside Attractions

This review was originally posted on News Cult in September 2017.

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Tatiana Maslany, Miranda Richardson, Clancy Brown

Director: David Gordon Green

Running Time: 119 Minutes

Rating: R for Bombing Gore and Boston Profanity

Release Date: September 22, 2017 (Limited)

Inspirational stories of recovery typically focus on people who are working towards some major goal that is waylaid by an accident or a tragedy. But what about the people who are just getting by in life? Many runners were injured at the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, but so were many spectators. Jeff Bauman, who lost his legs to the blast, is one of the latter. He was there to support his on-again/off-again girlfriend Erin Hurley, as she made her way to the finish line when fate destructively intervened. Without any sort of motivation to get back out on the pavement driving him, what would the road to recovery for Jeff be like? Stronger opens up the curtain on that frustrating process.

Bauman achieved fame in the wake of the bombing when a (graphic) photo of him being pulled away from the blast site became iconic and also when he gave a description of Tamerlan Tsarnaev to the FBI upon waking from a coma. This led to media appearances like throwing out the first pitch at a Red Sox game that served the purpose of solidifying the Boston Strong mythologizing of his hometown.

But the public image of everyday heroes obscures the painful struggle behind the scenes. As Jake Gyllenhaal’s portrayal makes clear, Bauman was not at all eager to play this role. His scraggly hair and deep pupils complement his physical and emotional breakdowns in the face of any pressure. It certainly does not help that his family – loud, crude, overbearing, fiercely protective – fits the Bostonian stereotype to a T. Director David Gordon Green makes sure to have an ever-present feeling of claustrophobia.

The cruel joke at the heart of this all is that Jeff has a reputation for never showing up to the important moments in his life. Cheering his girlfriend on at the race is totally out of character for him. It is the major divisive factor causing the strife in their relationship. It drives the engine of his feelings of inferiority that prevent him from fully committing to his recovery. As Erin, Tatiana Maslany bears the brunt of the agony of these shortcomings, registering the pain all over her face. Even when Jeff ultimately turns a positive corner, the damage is done, and the scars are lasting.

As a title, Stronger is more wish than fact. The movie concludes with Jeff trying to do his best, but the major lesson to be gleaned from his story is that not everyone can summon the willpower to stand defiantly against the evils of the world as easily as catchy slogans and media mythmaking may want us to.

Stronger is Recommended If You Like: Jake Gyllenhaal in all his versatility, Million Dollar Baby, Sticking with people through their lowest points

Grade: 3 out of 5 Gallows Jokes

This Is a Movie Review: mother!

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I don’t want to get into too many specifics, or really any specifics at all about mother!, even though I could just include a spoiler alert, and I imagine plenty of people reading this review have already seen it anyway. The plain truth is, this movie benefits particularly from going into it with as few preconceived notions as possible, perhaps more so than any other movie ever (give or take a Cabin in the Woods). The marketing has been so vague that anyone who feels like they’ve been misled really shouldn’t feel that way. For those who knew that they were getting into something unpredictable, there have been some criticisms that it is too heavy-handed, too unsubtle, and/or too cacophonous to effectively work as metaphor. And that may well be, but the whole thing is too deliriously energetic to not be enjoyable. This is… cinema.

One more note: if she weren’t already famous with her SNL persona, Kristen Wiig could easily establish a reputation as a character actress specializing in publicist/agent/manager roles.

I give mother! my acknowledgement that it exists.

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Brad’s Status’ is: Intensely Narcissistic

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CREDIT: Jonathan Wenk/Amazon Studios

This review was originally posted on News Cult in September 2017.

Starring: Ben Stiller, Austin Abrams, Jenna Fischer, Michael Sheen, Shazi Raja, Jemaine Clement, Luke Wilson

Director: Mike White

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: R for A Few Disconcertingly Random F-Bombs

Release Date: September 15, 2017 (Limited)

Generally when writing a review, I avoid discussing issues of representation. That is not to say that that topic should not be avoided entirely, just that a review is not the ideal place for it. I believe that all stories are worth telling and need to be accepted on their own terms to truly understand them. But occasionally, representation is a focal theme in the stories that make it to the big screen, and in those cases, it would be imprudent to ignore it. Brad’s Status is one such movie.

In the most compelling possible interpretation, Brad’s Status is a horror film about extreme middle class neurosis. The score is filled with foreboding strings and heavy piano that contrast but also simultaneously complement the reliably blue skies. Brad Sloan’s (Ben Stiller) life probably should not be as intensely overwhelming as it is, but the status-conscious brain is a universe unto itself.

Brad’s existential crisis coincides with a college tour for his son Troy (Austin Abrams), who is smart enough to potentially get into Harvard but is uncertain enough about his future such that he doesn’t remember the correct date for his admissions interview. Staying on top of your kids during the college search is stressful enough, but on top of all that, Brad is deeply burdened by questions of how his success measures up with the rest of the world. When he thinks of his own college buddies he has lost touch with, he inevitably frets over how they have all exceeded him in terms of material wealth and influence. He remembers his own young adult idealism, and how his plans to change the world have not really borne fruit, even though he now runs his own nonprofit.

If this all sounds like White Straight Cisgender Male First World Problems: The Movie to you, it is worth noting that Brad’s privilege to complain as much as he does is called out quite searingly and clear-headedly by a female POC character. This is crucial, and effective. Those who are looking for more diverse representation in their films might reasonably say, “Sure, Brad’s Status takes white male bullshit to task, but it’s still about the white male bullshitter.” To which I would respond, I’m pretty sure this movie agrees with your sentiment and might in a weird way want you to dismiss it.

Regardless of how it works in terms of representation, Brad’s Status is an enlightening dramatization of the dangers of assumption, especially when you assume the best AND the worst. Chances are that your successful friends’ lives are not as picture-perfect as they seem. And chances are that they are not completely the opposite either. But you’ll never know either way unless you reach out and listen. Unfortunately for Brad, even when he does reach out, living inside his own head remains impossible to escape.

Brad’s Status is Recommended If You Like: Mad Men, Enlightened, White Male Navel Gazing, Criticism of White Male Navel Gazing

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Silver Flyer Cards

This Is a Movie Review: Tulip Fever

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At the end of Tulip Fever, I thought, “Oh, that’s what that was all about.” It ultimately becomes clear that there is an incredible amount of kindness inherent to the main characters. They struggle because they find themselves in situations that are far from ideal and beyond their control, but they ultimately find a way out. That is a fine bit of satisfaction. But for the first 95%, the floral mania is totally confounding and there is little in the way of enjoyability beyond the (not-that-out-of-place) comedic relief from Zach Galifianakis and Christoph Waltz’s nicknames for his penis.

I give Tulip Fever 1 Bulb Just Barely in Bloom.

This Is a Movie Review: Winning

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in September 2017.

Documentary

Starring: Nadia Comăneci, Jack Nicklaus, Martina Navratilova, Edwin Moses, Esther Vergeer

Director: Jacqueline Joseph

Running Time: 78 Minutes

Rating: Unrated, But It Could Easily Be G

Release Date: September 8, 2017 at Cinepolis Chelsea in New York City

For anyone expecting a chronicle of Charlie Sheen’s post-Two and a Half Men media blitz based on the title, you’re out of luck. Jacqueline Joseph’s documentary takes a much more straightforward approach to the concept of Winning, which is probably best for our insanity, but does it manage to be top-notch entertainment?

Joseph’s purpose is to identify what separates the all-time greatest athletes from the mere occasional champions. Ergo, Winning profiles five such folks who achieved some of the greatest winning streaks of all time: gymnast Nadia Comăneci, winner of nine Olympic medals and the first in her sport to earn a perfect 10.0 score; tennis player Martina Navratilova, owner of the longest winning streak (74 matches) in the open era; golfer Jack Nicklaus, winner of a record 18 major championships; track and field star Edwin Moses, winner of 122 consecutive races and former world record holder in the 400 meter hurdles; and wheelchair tennis player Esther Vergeer, who had a lifetime match record of 700-25.

While Winning does offer a few theses about the identity of a champion, none of them are particularly groundbreaking. All five athletes worked hard in their careers, leaps and bounds harder than not only the average person, but also that much more than even many of their rivals. This is common sense, but it is occasionally amusingly stated, as when Comăneci suggests that if that intensity is not for you, then just go be a spectator.

Winning also runs into the problem of how to devote enough space in less than an hour and a half to multiple figures who are all worthy of their own feature length docs. There is an effort made to demonstrate how each of them transcended their sports, but the meaningfulness therein is not on the same level for each of them. There is also some attempted connective tissue between the struggles that each of them faced when growing up, but again the magnitudes of those struggles do not quite match (Moses being teased for having “Kermit legs” is not exactly Navratilova defecting from communist Czechoslovakia at age 18).

Ultimately, Winning is enjoyable enough thanks to the winning personalities of its subjects. Comăneci is disarmingly blunt, Navratilova is naturally low-key charming, Nicklaus and Moses are genuinely folksy, and Vergeer is unfailingly sunny. If you train your camera on people who know better than anyone else how to perform under pressure, you’re going to get something at least somewhat worthwhile.

Winning is Recommended If You Like: Sports! Sports! All Kinds of Sports!

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Trophies

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Unlocked’ is Only for the Least Discerning Action Buffs

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in August 2017.

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Toni Collette, John Malkovich, Michael Douglas, Orlando Bloom

Director: Michael Apted

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloody Double Crosses

Release Date: September 1, 2017 (Limited and On-Demand)

Unlocked is just like any other global criss-crossing spy intrigue action thrillers that the likes of Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme knocked out in their sleep in their heydays and probably still are cranking out (oh, the mysterious wonders of the home entertainment market). But instead of a hyper-masculine slab of meat singlehandedly saving the world from terrorism, this time it’s a tiny Swedish woman. So… progress?

While it is heartening to see a woman act competently in a traditionally male domain without anyone questioning her credentials, it is not as if Unlocked is otherwise compelling enough for those involved to be especially proud of. As cinema’s original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Noomi Rapace is right in her comfort zone, so she does manage to acquit herself admirably. But this is cookie-cutter spycraft, with every beat of flashbacks to haywire past missions and predictable double crosses crossed off in the most vanilla manner.

Rapace is supported by a cast of co-stars that are incongruously big and classy. Not one, not two, but THREE Oscar-nominated actors pop up in pivotal roles. Toni Collette, John Malkovich, and Michael Douglas manage to maintain their dignity, but the movie gives them few opportunities to be interesting. Even the director is a fairly notable name. Michael Apted (perhaps best known for the Up documentary series) has action experience in his filmography, including 1999’s The World is Not Enough, but none of the style inherent to the Bond series appears to have rubbed off on him.

In Unlocked’s final act, it manages to stick in some thematic muscle that it probably meant to explore all along. It turns out that the terrorist plot at the center of it all may be the doing of government machinations. There is potential fuel here to fan the flames of 9/11 truther-style conspiracy theorists. But Unlocked lacks the conviction to be either legitimately controversial or hysterically entertaining.

Unlocked is Recommended If You Like: Steven Seagal/Jean-Claude Van Damme/Chuck Norris completism, but with a distaff twist

Grade: 1 out of 5 Global Viruses

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Birth of the Dragon’ Wrings Some Drama Out of a Legendary Kung Fu Fight

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This review was originally published on News Cult in August 2017.

Starring: Philip Ng, Billy Magnussen, Xia Yu, Jinjing Qu, Jin Xing

Director: George Nolfi

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Kung Fu Ass Kicking and Mild Gangsterism

Release Date: August 25, 2017

Birth of the Dragon purports to be about a legendary fight between martial arts masters Bruce Lee (Philip Ng) and Wong Jack Man (Xia Yu), and it is about that for the most part, but an oddly significant amount of narrative weight is devoted to an out-of-place love story. I am not sure if this can be explained by commercial reasons, but I do not imagine that anyone who is mainly looking for romance would also be in the mood for sitting through a bunch of kung fu. Or perhaps it is just there to pad out the story. But that too is a puzzling choice, as there is more than enough drama to draw out of the Lee/Man conflict. The love story is far from fluffy, as it touches upon the struggles of Chinese immigrants in 1960s San Francisco, so the problem is more about overstuffing than irrelevance.

Much of the buildup to the fight is conveyed through a go-between in the form of Steve McKee (Billy Magnussen), one of Lee’s American students, who is essentially a third protagonist. Far from whitewashing, his presence gets at the heart of the conflict, or at least what one combatant assumes to be the heart of the conflict. Lee believes that Wong Jack Man has travelled to America because he disapproves of Lee teaching kung fu to Westerners. While Man is certainly the more traditional of the two, their disagreement is more complicated than that. That ambiguity helps overcome the problem intrinsic to this film: the actual fight between these two was not recorded, and its result is the stuff of legend. Birth of the Dragon makes the wise decision that the actual winner is beside the point.

Naturally, Birth of the Dragon is really only worth recommending if its action choreography can come anywhere close to the level of its subjects. I have only ever seen clips of Lee’s film and TV work, but I cannot imagine that Birth is anywhere near as stunning as the likes of Fist of Fury and Enter the Dragon. It is far from embarrassing (Ng especially has an extensive martial arts background), but masters in any field deserve tributes that earn more than only the faintest of praise.

Birth of the Dragon is Recommended If You Like: Kung Fu Completism

Grade: 2 out of 5 Chips on Your Shoulder

This Is a Movie Review: ‘Leap!’ Can Only Inspire Aspiring Ballerinas If They’re Unfamiliar with the Uncanny Valley

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This review was originally posted on News Cult in August 2017.

Starring: Elle Fanning, Nat Wolff, Carly Rae Jepsen, Maddie Ziegler, Kate McKinnon, Mel Brooks

Directors: Éric Summer and Éric Warin

Running Time: 89 Minutes

Rating: PG for Lightly Disturbing Stage Motherhood

Release Date: August 25, 2017

Hey guys, I know there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world that we need to be worried about, but there is yet one more thing I need to alert you about. Apparently the French are not so keen about orphans joining their prestigious ballet companies. Luckily, an animated movie now exists to inspire aspiring ballerinas to keep their heads up no matter where they are from! That movie is Leap!, but alas, its cookie-cutter CG animation, far from inspirational itself, is instead liable to call to mind the most bizarre cartoon you only discover in your most desperate Netflix binges. Oh well, at least it gives us an excuse to start a campaign to get Carly Rae Jepsen a Best Original Song Oscar.

The plot is the same as any inspirational animated kids movie: a misfit tries to sneak her way into the big time, where she must withstand the arrogance of the gatekeepers and the ruthlessness of her rivals, but she stands just enough of a chance for success, thanks to her own boundless gumption and a somewhat mysterious mentor figure who finds the room in her heart to train her. The whole affair is kind-spirited enough that even the most morally lacking characters in the ballet world are easily redeemed by the end. If you are an aspiring ballerina yourself, or have one in your life, you may derive value from watching Leap! For everyone else, the whole endeavor may be too disorienting to have any demonstrable results.

Leap! is an international co-production with two French directors, and accordingly it often has a vibe of being lost in translation. Characters respond to each other with lines that do not quite make sense. Dialogue is often offscreen, frequently resulting in a weird sensation in which the words sound simultaneously nearby and far away. These are the sorts of uncanny valley effects that slightly subpar CG animation always runs the risk of featuring. At least the conclusion is a satisfying reprieve from all that: as Jepsen’s sublimely buoyant “Cut to the Feeling” cuts in during the credits, it is like a marvelous return to the real world.

Leap! is Recommended If You Like: Ice Princess, Hallucinating from Inexplicably Weird Animation, Carly Rae Jepsen completism

Grade: 2.25 out of 5 Depressed Elephants

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