It’s ‘Tuesday’ at the Movies!

June 19, 2024

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Oh, by the way, which one’s Tuesday? (CREDIT: A24)

Starring: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Lola Petticrew, Leah Harvey, Arinzé Kene

Director: Daina O. Pusić

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)

I DIDN’T SEE Tuesday on a TUESDAY!!!

I just had to get that out of the way first.

But now that I have seen Tuesday (on a Monday), would I prefer that all days henceforth be Tuesday (even if only metaphorically)? I don’t know, would that mean that a baritone macaw Grim Reaper would always be hovering around? I mean, that sounds cool and all, but it might get a little monotonous. But definitely good on JLD for branching out into dark fairy tale territory!

Grade: 3 Ice Cube Singalongs out of 2 Good Days

‘Inside Out 2,’ Anxiety Boogaloo

June 14, 2024

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You put the Inside Out, you put the Outside In (CREDIT: Pixar/Screenshot)

Starring: Amy Poehler, Maya Hawke, Phyllis Smith, Kensington Tallman, Tony Hale, Lewis Black, Liza Lapira, Ayo Edebiri, Adèle Exarchopoulos, Paul Walter Hauser, Diane Lane, Kyle MacLachlan, Sumayyah Nuriddin-Green, Grace Lu, Yong Yea, Yvette Nicole Brown, Ron Funches, James Austin Johnson, Steve Purcell, Dave Goelz, Kirk Thatcher, Frank Oz, Paula Pell, June Squibb, Pete Docter

Director: Kelsey Mann

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: June 14, 2024 (Theaters)

I often like to ask if the movies that I watch make me want to be what they are. But of course, what Inside Out and Inside Out 2 posit is that, we are all already inside out. How twisted! Just like Pouchy – what a dynamite addition. Speaking of new characters, I’m already nostalgic for Nostalgia. Damn, that anxiety attack was exhilarating. Don’t spin around with a baseball bat for a dizzy race right before watching this movie!

Grade: 4001 Insides out of 5000 Outs

Katherine Parr and Henry VIII Square Off in the Elusive ‘Firebrand’

June 13, 2024

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This queen is on Fire(brand)? (CREDIT: Larry Horricks)

Starring: Alicia Vikander, Jude Law, Eddie Marsan, Ruby Bentall, Bryony Hannah, Sam Riley, Maia Jemmett, Amr Waked, Erin Doherty, Junia Rees, Patsy Ferran, Patrick Buckley, Simon Russell Beale, Mia Threapleton

Director: Karim Aïnouz

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: R for Rowdy Royalty

Release Date: June 14, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Henry VIII is one of the most famous and dramatized kings in British history. That makes sense, as there’s plenty of drama to be mined. He had six wives who met a variety of interesting, often deadly, fates, and he reigned at a time when England was in the midst of world-rearranging religious strife. So there are a variety of potential angles to take if you’re going to make a movie set during his reign. Firebrand focuses on his last wife, Katherine Parr, who finds herself holding court in the midst of daily intrigue and sinister gossip. She ends up caught between her attempts to appease the king and her dalliances with a Protestant preacher who’s deemed a heretic, while also trying to serve as a mother as best she can to her fretful princely stepchildren.

What Made an Impression?: Parr for the Course: For this review, I’m basically going to do a performance analysis for the two leads, because that’s what held my attention. My bet is that most people’s exposure to Katherine in terms of pop culture (if they have any exposure at all) is the musical Six. But of course, that stage show is about all of Henry’s wives as opposed to just Katherine in particular. Either way, Alicia Vikander certainly doesn’t play her like a modern pop star. No, instead her Katherine is in a constant state of dilemma and anguish, fundamentally unable to please anyone she cares about, and with no room to maneuver to allow herself any personal satisfaction. She’s just canny enough to survive, but even that is largely attributable to a lucky twist of fate.
He’s Henry VIII, He Is?: Jude Law would be far from my first choice to play Henry VIII, as he strikes me as a bit too handsome and suave to play the famously rotund king. And in fact, when he first showed up in Firebrand, I had flashbacks to his time as The Young Pope, which had me thinking, “Is this Henry supposed to be… hot?” The rest of the movie quickly disabused me of that notion, as Law’s Henry is mad, brutish, and beset by ulcers. He’s quickly sliding into the grips of the Grim Reaper, and that’s frankly a relief to everyone around him. Law is appropriately devoid of vanity, but this Henry is simply too sick for there to be enough room to make him truly compelling.

Firebrand is Recommended If You’re: Just a big fan of Henry VIII’s wives

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Heresies

Horror 2-Pack Review: ‘The Watchers’ Are ‘In a Violent Nature’

June 13, 2024

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Watching Nature (CREDIT: IFC Films/Screenshot; Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

In a Violent Nature

Starring: Ry Barrett, Andrea Pavlovic, Cameron Love, Reece Presley, Liam Leone, Charlotte Creaghan, Lea Rose Sebastianis, Sam Roulston, Alexander Oliver, Lauren Taylor, Timothy Paul McCarthy

Director: Chris Nash

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: May 31, 2024 (Theaters)

Stomach was knotted (from ice cream)

The Watchers

Starring: Dakota Fanning, Olwen Fouéré, Georgina Campbell, Oliver Finnegan, Alistair Brammer, John Lynch

Director: Ishana Night Shyamalan

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)

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‘Bad Boys: Ride or Die’ Has Some Lies to Clear Up

June 4, 2024

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Bad Boys, Bad Boys, what you gonna ride? What you gonna ride, when you ride or die? (CREDIT: Frank Masi/Columbia Pictures)

Starring: Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexander Ludwig, Paola Núñez, Eric Dane, Ioan Gruffudd, Jacob Scipio, Melanie Liburd, Tasha Smith, Rhea Seehorn, Joe Pantoliano, Tiffany Haddish, John Salley, DJ Khaled, Dennis Greene, Quinn Hemphill

Directors: Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: R for Heavy Artillery and the Dirty Cops That Fire Them

Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Don’t speak ill of the dead, or a couple of flashy Miami police detectives might just start investigating your ass. When the late Captain Conrad Howard (Joe Pantoliano) is posthumously accused of collaborating with a drug cartel, Detectives Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) set out to clear their mentor’s good name. It seems stunningly obvious that Howard is innocent, but the cartel’s tendrils of influence are inescapable, and their arsenal is bottomless. Plus, it doesn’t help that the best course of action involves transferring Mike’s incarcerated son Armando (Jacob Scipio) so that he can ID the real perp. Adding to the hurricane is the fact that Captain Howard’s US Marshal daughter Judy (Rhea Seehorn) has her own plan to clear her dad’s name that doesn’t involve trusting Mike or Marcus.

What Made an Impression?: They’re Really Getting Too Old For This S-: The last Bad Boys flick came out four years ago, and it was already the sort of legacy action sequel that was majorly about how its main characters are aging out of their high-octane lifestyles. Ride or Die ramps that angle up right from the get-go, with Marcus suffering a widow maker heart attack after indulging in a few too many Skittles and gas station hot dogs. Meanwhile, Mike is having a series of inexplicable panic attacks. As it plays out, though, this is really more about the odd couple dynamic, as Lawrence was never exactly the action star specimen that Smith has been for most of his career. While this thread could have been more meditative, I appreciate that it’s at least occasionally psychedelic, with Marcus going on a rather visually inventive spiritual journey following his heart attack. The rest of the movie is typical gunfire-filled mayhem, but at least there’s room for the leads to occasionally riff about mystical mumbo-jumbo.
Fancy Bad Boys: Sometimes I just want to spotlight one weird specific moment from a movie without covering too many of the most important details. Ride or Die is pretty much a retread of Bad Boys for Life, after all (at least in terms of vibes, if not necessarily plot). But what For Life didn’t have is Mike and Marcus pretending to be Reba McEntire superfans to get themselves out of a pickle. If you’ve seen the trailer, you already know that they’re forced at gunpoint to sing their favorite song by the country superstar to prove their bona fides. And if that moment had you wondering if we get a Reba rendition of the Inner Circle song that serves as this franchise’s namesake, well, then I must say that you are thinking clearly. And that’s what I’m going to choose to focus on whenever I think about this movie.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die is Recommended If You Like: Martin Lawrence being really silly, Will Smith being really annoyed, Rhea Seehorn being really serious

Grade: 3 out of 5 Posthumous Video Messages

‘Handling the Undead’ Offers a Meditative Scandinavian Spin on the Zombie Genre

May 30, 2024

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Can you handle it (Courtesy of Sundance Institute. Photo by Pål Ulvik Rokseth)

Starring: Renate Reinsve, Anders Danielsen Lie, Bjørn Sundquis, Bente Børsum, Bahar Pars, Inesa Dauksta

Director: Thea Hvistendahl

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (with PG-13-Level Slow-Burn Terror)

Release Date: May 31, 2024 (IFC Center in New York City)/June 7, 2024 (Select Cities)

What’s It About?: A woman finds her catatonic elderly mother in her kitchen. A man is informed that his wife is inexplicably alive after a car accident despite an ostensibly insufficient amount of oxygen. An older man digs up his dead grandson, much to the horror of his daughter who’s also the boy’s mother. In case you haven’t figured it out already, the dead have risen in Oslo. But they’re not the lumbering, ravenous zombies that we’re used to. Instead, they’re enigmas for their loved ones, is there hope that they could be fully resurrected, or is this just a never-ending tragedy?

What Made an Impression?: When to Let Go: For the most part, the undead in Handling the Undead don’t seem to be putting their family in any immediate danger (although that eventually changes). But the emotional stress they inflict is profound and inescapable. When they eventually become bitey, it literalizes the lesson they’re imparting: clinging too tightly to the departed can be lethal. Once you notice your own health withering away in this situation, it’s probably time to let go.
We Need a Prescription: When a zombie film opts for an atypical approach, it often does so from a postmodern lens, with the characters within the movie familiar with the lessons of previous zombie narratives. But in the case of Handling the Undead, it’s not clear if these people have any of that genre savvy. Even if they do, they don’t really realize that they’re dealing with zombies until it’s too late. Doctors are too puzzled to offer anything resembling a diagnosis. Indeed, no experts are available to suggest any helpful course of action. This complicates the lesson of letting go; sometimes it’s not clear when the end has arrived, and in the meantime, we must sit with the existential ambiguity and simmering threat of danger.

Handling the Undead is Recommended If You Like: Let the Right One In, Let Me In, Going heavy on the subwoofer

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Dead-Eyed Stares

‘Robot Dreams’ Review: Dog is Metal Man’s Best Friend

May 29, 2024

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A Robot and a Dog Displaying Water Safety Practices (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: A Dog and a Robot

Director: Pablo Berger

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (G-Level with Maybe a Hint of Danger)

Release Date: May 31, 2024 (New York Theaters)/June 7, 2024 (Los Angeles)

What’s It About?: Have you ever seen a movie about a human befriending a machine? Or what about a human befriending a furry fellow? Surely you already know that there’s plenty of both of those! But what Robot Dreams presupposes is: instead of a human, what if an animal and a robot become friends with … each other? And so it goes, as a dog named Dog assembles himself a robot friend, and they quickly become inseparable. They head down to Coney Island one day for a beach outing, but Robot gets stuck in the sand and becomes too heavy for Dog to move him. He tries to come back to retrieve him the next day, but alas, the beach is now closed until next summer, so Dog is forced to be extraordinarily patient if he wants to reunite with his best friend. Will they be able to survive the wait, or does fate have something even more whimsical in store for them? In the meantime, Robot will have to settle for having vivid dreams about their reunion.

What Made an Impression?: Ba-dee-ah: Do you dream in music? Well, Dog and Robot dream in earth, wind, and fire. Specifically, they dream in “September” by Earth, Wind & Fire. It’s also a big part of their waking life as well. It’s the signature song to the soundtrack of their lives, and the potential calling card should they ever be reunited. This is transcendentally joyful funk R&B that strikes right at the connection-forming core of my psyche. I imagine that even viewers who have somehow never heard this song before will have a similar reaction.
No Chance for Reassurance: In between seeing Robot Dreams and writing this review, I read about the efforts to reunite migrant families separated at the border during President Trump’s zero tolerance policy. Some reunions have been successful but also profoundly unsatisfying, as the children were too young to understand that their parents were constantly trying to find them. I couldn’t help but draw parallels to the predicament of Robot, who remains similarly unaware of Dog’s efforts to track him down. To be clear, Robot Dreams is not at all as depressing as that real-world tragedy. Quite frankly, I can only hope that those children can be soothed by an imagination as vibrant as the one that Robot displays. This movie isn’t a matter of life and death, but it does offer a portrait of inspiring resilience, which quite frankly we can never have enough of. So if you have the good fortune of free time, do yourself a favor and allow Robot Dreams to place a balm on your soul.

Robot Dreams is Recommended If You Like: Bittersweet memories of happy days

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Dreams

‘Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga’: How Can One Franchise Keep Up the Dusty and Metal Momentum?

May 22, 2024

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You’re driving me Furiosa! (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Anya Taylor-Joy, Chris Hemsworth, Alyla Browne, Tom Burke, Lachy Hulme, Nathan Jones, Josh Helman, John Howard, Charlee Fraser, Angus Sampson, Quaden Bayles, Daniel Webber, Jacob Tomuri, Elsa Pataky

Director: George Miller

Running Time: 148 Minutes

Rating: R for The Bloody Violence and Grisly Gruesomeness of the Desert

Release Date: May 24, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Imperator Furiosa was the breakout character of Mad Max: Fury Road, and now she’s got her very own prequel! Yes indeed, it’s time once again to return to the sandy, fiery post-apocalypse of the Australian Outback. Originally brought to life inimitably by Charlize Theron nearly a decade ago, the mantle of Furiosa now falls to Alyla Browne as a tween and Anya Taylor-Joy in young adult form. She grows up in one of the few areas in this wasteland where vegetation grows plentifully, but then she’s kidnapped into a life of servitude and forced to watch the execution of her mother (Charlee Fraser). She initially winds up in the clutches of the vulture-nosed warlord Dementus (Chris Hemsworth) before getting passed over to big baddie Immortan Joe (Lachy Hulme), who’s happy to have her as one of his many brides. But her mechanical skills, slippery resourcefulness, lust for vengeance, and an unquenchable desire to return home ensures that her life won’t be quite so simple or quite so repressed

What Made an Impression?: Predictable, But Also Not Predictable: Mad Max is one of those franchises where continuity really doesn’t matter. Every single entry has been directed (or co-directed) and co-written by George Miller, but he’s never exactly felt bound by what he himself has established. Fury Road, for example, played more like a reboot rather than a legacy sequel (understandably so, considering its recasting of the lead role and the fact that it came out 30 years after the previous entry). So it’s a little surprising then that Furiosa plays similarly to Rogue One‘s place in the Star Wars timeline, insofar as it barrels right towards the point where Fury Road kicks off. But that’s not to say that Miller is doing anything obvious. It may be true this time that the continuity is more linear than usual, but the depth of imagination is still staggering. Miller doesn’t give us what we think we want, because he’s speaking an entirely different language than anybody else on the planet.
How’d He Do Dat?: I’m not sure if I’m fully enthralled by Furiosa’s world. Similarly, I admired Fury Road more than I adored it, and my initial reaction to this distaff follow-up is pretty similar. (Though I wouldn’t be surprised if I gradually start feeling a bit zestier). But I can say without reservation that I am absolutely in awe of George Miller’s nutty band of merry stunt workers. With all sorts of sand bikes, monster trucks, and precision-strike firearms, it’s hard to believe that everyone survived the production. (I pray that no terrible exposés emerge to reveal otherwise!) Fury Road already flame-threw the action adventure genre to levels never witnessed before, and Furiosa somehow manages to be even more relentless. It’s nonstop set piece after set piece, each one of them thoroughly thrilling, witty, and reality-altering. This is cinema, baby!

Furiosa is Recommended If You Like: Stunts, Stunts, Stunts, Stunts, and also Stunts

Grade: 4 out of 5 Prosthetic Arms

‘The Garfield Movie’ is Like 100 Tons of the Silliest Lasagna You’ve Ever Consumed

May 21, 2024

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This review was written on a Monday. (CREDIT: DNEG Animation)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Samuel L. Jackson, Hannah Waddingham, Ving Rhames, Nicholas Hoult, Cecily Strong, Harvey Guillén, Brett Goldstein, Bowen Yang, Janelle James, Snoop Dogg

Director: Mark Dindal

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: PG for Kitty Calamities

Release Date: May 24, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Everyone’s favorite lasagna-loving feline is back on the big screen, and this time, it’s called… The Garfield Movie! (I guess all those other cinematic outings were merely “A” Garfield Movie?) Anyway, now he’s voiced by Chris Pratt, and his gluttony is fueled by his owner Jon Arbuckle’s (Nicholas Hoult) seemingly limitless credit card and all the food delivery apps he can get his paws. He’s pretty happy just lounging around devouring his daily feasts with his beagle buddy Odie (Harvey Guillén). But then his absentee dad Vic (Samuel L. Jackson) shows up out of the blue to wrangle him into a hero’s journey, as they attempt to heist some milk from a farm to square away Vic’s debt with Jinx (Hannah Waddingham), the devilish crime boss Persian cat.

What Made an Impression?: Slingshot All Day: I’m not going to call out a cartoon for its unrealistic portrayal of physics. After all, part of the advantages of this medium is that it doesn’t have to be bound by the laws of science in the same way that live action movies are. That comes into play with a series of train-based set pieces, as Garfield fails to board one of the cars cleanly and ends up getting bounced around by a ridiculous series of objects providing an inordinate amount of thrust. I wasn’t scandalized by the lack of respect for the natural world, but I was befuddled. Perhaps if I had been in a sillier mood, I would have been more ready to throw out a laugh or several.
Wait, What World is This?: The plot of The Garfield Movie isn’t much to write about (or at least it’s not much that I’m interested in writing about), so instead I’m focusing on the weird details that made me go, what the heck is the context here? To wit: at one point during Garfield’s adventures getting tossed hither and thither, he flies by a giant balloon float version of… himself. So does that mean that this movie is taking place on Thanksgiving? And that Garfield is famous in this world as an actual real-world somewhat-anthropomorphic kitty?
Also, what’s the deal with all the blatant product placement? I guess Garfield is just a classic capitalist consumer with a bad case of brand loyalty. Perhaps you won’t notice these details as much as I did. Or perhaps you will notice them but will find them amusing. The people in my screening who were cracking up the most appeared to be in their twenties or thirties, so you apparently don’t need to be a kid for these shenanigans to work. But you probably do need to hate Mondays and LOVE telling people that you hate Mondays.

The Garfield Movie is Recommended If You: Believe That Mass Quantities of Food Are the Most Hilarious Thing Ever

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Tabbies

If You Can Imagine ‘IF,’ the IFs Will Come

May 16, 2024

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If, if, if, uh… (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Cailey Fleming, Ryan Reynolds, John Krasinski, Fiona Shaw, Alan Kim, Steve Carell, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Liza Colón-Zayas, Bobby Moynihan, Louis Gosset Jr., Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Maya Rudolph, Jon Stewart, Sam Rockwell, Sebastian Maniscalco, Christopher Meloni, Awkwafina, Richard Jenkins, Blake Lively, George Clooney, Matthew Rhys, Bradley Cooper, Amy Schumer, Keegan-Michael Key

Director: John Krasinski

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG for Mild Potty Humor and Imaginary Nudity

Release Date: May 17, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Ever since her mom died, 12-year-old Bea (Cailey Fleming) has pretty much forgotten how to have fun. It certainly doesn’t help that her dad (John Krasinski) is about to undergo heart surgery, though he tries to maintain her childlike wonder with his constant magic tricks and corny gags. While staying at the NYC apartment of her grandmother (Fiona Shaw), she encounters a couple of cartoon characters, as well as their seemingly human partner named Cal (Ryan Reynolds). As it turns out, they’re imaginary friends (or IFs, as they like to be abbreviated), and it’s highly unusual for someone of Bea’s age to be able to see them. But she could really use the power of imagination right now. Or maybe, these supernatural hypothetical creatures could really use the power of Bea right now.

What Made an Impression?: Tina Turner-ing Back the Clock: Baa eventually meets a whole crew of IFs in their hideaway on the Coney Island boardwalk. The encounter is fueled by IF‘s big set piece: an imagination-fueled dance number set to Tina Turner’s 1984 hit “Better Be Good to Me.” Honestly, it’s quite possibly my favorite cinematic choreography since Napoleon Dynamite let loose to some Jamiroquai 20 years ago. If you told me that IF was really just writer-director Krasinski’s excuse to make an entire movie around his own unique tribute to Turner, I would buy it. Such a film did not have to be about imaginary friends, but as it is, it worked out quite swimmingly.
Imaginary Friends, Real Motivation: I wasn’t expecting to tear up at IF, as all indications pointed to it being a simple sugar rush. But its final act lays its thesis out for the taking. As Bea’s journey would have it, imaginary friends aren’t mere fake companions; instead, they’re representations of our innermost desires. We might not be able to “see” them anymore after we grow up, but remaining in touch with them is essential to accomplish our dreams. In that sense, they’re essentially embodiments of everyone’s unique motivations. So the next time you look at a childhood photo or drawing that makes you suddenly remember a big purple monster or a talking ice cube, roll with it. A satisfying life might just depend on it.

IF is Recommended If You Like: Inside Out, Humorless kid protagonists, Tina Turner

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 IFs

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