‘Halloween Ends’ After Taking a Detour Through a Cracked Mirror

October 13, 2022

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Impressive Halloween Costumes (CREDIT: Ryan Green/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, Rohan Campbell, James Jude Courtney, Will Patton, Kyle Richards

Director: David Gordon Green

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Brutal Stabbings, Punctures, and Dismemberments

Release Date: October 14, 2022 (Theaters and Peacock)

What’s It About?: It’s been four years since the bloodiest Halloween of all time in Haddonfield, Illinois! So what’s Michael Myers up to now? Well, he’s somehow survived strikes at point blank range with every conceivable weapon, but he hasn’t been taking advantage of his seeming invincibility to go on a non-stop killing spree. Instead, he’s basically disappeared. But Haddonfield’s not doing so good in his absence, as the town is understandably reeling from a hangover of trauma and paranoia. However, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and her granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) are doing their best to actually move on from those nightmares. Alas, there might be a new monster in the making in the form of troubled young man Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell). He and Allyson are sweet on each other, but an inescapable evil threatens to consume him.

What Made an Impression?: Every time we’ve seen Curtis return as Laurie since the first Halloween, she’s been too traumatized to register as a full person. But that’s no longer the case at the beginning of Halloween Ends. She’s writing a memoir about her encounters with a killer, and it genuinely appears that she’s fully processed the worst of it all. She’s even allowing herself to flirt with Deputy Frank (Will Patton)! Allyson is going about her days in much the same way, getting along as a nurse at Haddonfield Hospital and instantly recognizing a kindred spirit when she meets Corey, despite a recent incident of manslaughter (the unforgettable opening sequence explains it all).

These early scenes feel like a metaphor for our scary present, with the looming unkillable threat of Michael serving as a stand-in for a status quo of violent political unrest, constant climate disasters, and a renewed threat of nuclear annihilation. The fact that anybody could find joy in this context is basically a miracle, so it’s a wonder to behold it here. Of course it can’t last forever, as this is a Halloween movie, after all. But it’s nevertheless a treat while it lasts before the carnage arrives.

And things get pretty inexplicable once that carnage does arrive. Michael Myers has never needed an accomplice, but somehow that’s what he ends up with when he crosses paths with Corey. It’s a stunning turn, and one that never struck me as justifying itself as something adequately interesting. But I have to at least respect it when a long-running series tries something so wildly unpredictable, especially in an entry that’s supposed to be the ultimate conclusion (at least for now, anyway). So, yeah, what stood out the most about Halloween Ends was how it made me constantly wonder, “Why did they ever decide to do it that way?”

Halloween Ends is Recommended If You Like: Deceptively happy beginnings, Weird middles, Cathartic endings

Grade: 3 out of 5 Blades

‘Bros’ ‘Bros’ ‘Bros’ ‘Bros’ ‘Bros’ ‘Bros’ ‘Bros’

October 8, 2022

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Bros in the Wild (CREDIT: Nicole Rivelli/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Billy Eichner, Luke Macfarlane, Guy Branum, Ts Madison, Jim Rash, Eve Lindley, Miss Lawrence, Dot-Marie Jones, Monica Raymund, Guillermo Díaz

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 30, 2022 (Theaters)

The air conditioning wasn’t working properly in the theater when I went to see Bros, so I had to fan myself with the menu a fair bit. I was able to get through mostly unscathed, but there were definitely some sweat spots. Nevertheless, the movie still resonated in my slightly agitated state.

I believe Billy Eichner has talked about how he would like Bros to be relatable to audiences beyond the queer community. And he certainly doesn’t have to convince me, because ever since I stumbled upon his comedy a little over a decade ago, I’ve recognized him as a kindred spirit. And that connection is now only deeper thanks to Bros, particularly one scene when Billy’s character Bobby explains why he’s so outwardly confident despite the world constantly telling him that he’s not quite the right person to do what he wants to do. I’m no stranger to inner certainty being met with a skeptical “Are you sure?” Billy’s remedy for this feeling was to write and star in an aggressively self-aware rom-com, and that looks like a healthy decision to me.

Grade: LBGQTIAmen

‘TÁR’ Pulls You Down the Rabbit Hole of Egomania

October 6, 2022

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Covered in TÁR (CREDIT: Courtesy of Focus Features)

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Noémie Merlant, Nina Hoss, Sophie Kauer, Julian Glover, Allan Corduner, Mila Bogojevic, Mark Strong

Director: Todd Field

Running Time: 157 Minutes

Rating: R for A Few Swears and Some Weird Incidental Nudity

Release Date: October 7, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Lydia Tár is one of the greatest living conductors. Does that sound like a role that Cate Blanchett was born to play? Todd Field apparently thought so, to the point that TÁR is the first movie he’s directed in sixteen years. Anyway, we’re introduced to Lydia at a live New Yorker interview, and it looks like it’s mostly going to be about her preparing for her next great orchestra performance. You know, one of those “process of genius” chronicles. But a messy personal life, and an even messier series of scandals, lurk barely underneath the surface. If you’re getting a sense that Lydia’s about to alienate all of her colleagues, friends, and family members, then you might be onto something.

What Made an Impression?: I’ve lately been reading Classical Music for Dummies, so I was all primed for TÁR to be more viscerally thrilling for me than it would have been, say, a year ago. But as it turns out, the classical setting is more or less incidental. Oh sure, there’s plenty for aficionados to dig here, as it’s likely to inspire passionate debates about the relative merits of Mahler and Bach, or someone more contemporary like Anna Thorvaldsdottir. But this is a story of the ego destroying everything else, which can happen in any high-powered artistic pursuit.

Lydia’s downfall could be read as a portrait of cancel culture, but that term is a bit too charged and complicated to be the most accurate description. For a good chunk of the movie, I found myself thinking, “She’s not guilty of exactly what she’s being accused of. Although, she is guilty of a lot.” Her instincts are to retreat, hide, get back to work, and in the process fail to acknowledge the humanity of pretty much everyone around her. What happens after that alienation? As TÁR posits, your whole world becomes warped beyond recognition, resulting in a wild fish-out-of-water conclusion and one of the most unexpectedly goofy final shots I’ve ever seen.

TÁR is Recommended If You Like: Geniuses losing it all, Finger dexterity, EGOT discussions

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Symphonies

Interestingly Enough, I Saw ‘Don’t Worry Darling’

October 5, 2022

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How WORRIED are they?! (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Chris Pine, Olivia Wilde, Gemma Chan, Kiki Layne, Nick Kroll, Kate Berland, Timothy Simons, Douglas Smith, Sydney Chandler, Asif Ali, Ari’el Satchel

Director: Olivia Wilde

Running Time: 123 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 23, 2022 (Theaters)

The behind-the-scenes drama of Don’t Worry Darling has been so messy. And on screen, it’s not much cleaner. The seams are clear right away in this mid-century-style suburban fantasy world! But that messiness makes sense to me. The backwards-tomorrow that these men are trying to create would be pretty difficult to perfect. There were many scenes that had me going “Does this undercut the central metaphor?” And they did, but pointedly so. The pandemonium is a feature, not a bug.

Grade: I Wasn’t Worried, I Was Excited!

‘Barbarian’ 4 LYFE

October 3, 2022

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So Barbaric (CREDIT: 20th Century Studios/Screenshot)

Starring: Georgina Campbell, Bill Skarsgård, Justin Long, Matthew Patrick Davis, Richard Brake

Director: Zach Cregger

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 9, 2022 (Theaters)

Right before seeing Barbarian, I got some fried ice cream for the first time at a place I’d been meaning to try for a while. And it was as delicious as I’d hoped for! So I took that as a wonderful portent that Barbarian would also be able to meet my sky-high expectations. So let me assure everyone quickly: it was a wonderful evening all around.

Barbarian is one of those movies where you don’t want to talk to folks who haven’t seen it in too much detail, because all the twisty surprises are so much fun to discover unspoiled. But unlike a lot of other movies of that ilk, there’s plenty to talk about without spoiling the monster. Like, I could mention that Justin Long is in it, and that he’s got a pretty significant part, despite not being in the trailer at all. And that spoils nothing! Well, it spoils Justin’s sudden, previously unannounced introduction. But that only amounts to about 1% spoilage. Anyway, how are there not more basement-based horror movies?

Grade: 476/500

Don’t Smile Because It’s Named ‘Smile,’ Scream Because It Happened

September 27, 2022

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Smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Sosie Bacon, Kyle Gallner, Jessie T. Usher, Kal Penn, Gillian Zinser, Robin Weigert, Caitlin Stasey, Nick Arapoglou, Rob Morgan, Dora Kiss, Judy Reyes

Director: Parker Finn

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: R for Brutal Bloody Ends

Release Date: September 30, 2022

What’s It About?: Demons sure love their chain letters, don’t they? And they’re pretty fastidious about keeping up with today’s technology, so they don’t need to come in the form of an actual piece of paper anymore. A videotape certainly sufficed in the VHS era. Or a roll in the hay is an evergreen opportunity to pass the curse along, since people are always having sex. And certainly, that there chain letter needn’t even take physical form, as it can spread through a series of premonitions, or in the case of Smile, via the creepiest facial expressions imaginable. That’s the conundrum that psychiatrist Rose Cotter (Sosie Bacon) finds herself in, after she witnesses a patient take her own life while sporting the most disturbing grin she’s ever seen. Rose then ends up haunted by the same evil entity, and she’s got about a week to figure it all out before it consumes her completely.

What Made an Impression?: One word immediately comes to mind to describe the viewing experience of Smile: frustrating. But I suspect that that may be by design. This evil has a knack for finding overworked, traumatized individuals. Rose is regularly putting in 80-hour workweeks in a job that takes a heavy emotional toll, and on top of that, much of her life has been shaped by an abusive childhood during which her mother overdosed right in front of her. And the patient (Caitlin Stasey) whose death she witnessed was a PhD student, so I imagine she wasn’t getting a whole lot of sleep either. This all makes for a messy formula where Rose doesn’t have the wherewithal to explain what’s happening to her, and everyone in her life either doesn’t have the patience to understand, or if they do have the patience, it doesn’t really matter because it’s too far beyond anything they themselves have ever experienced anyway.

Contrast that setup to Smile‘s closest analogue, The Ring, in which Naomi Watts plays a take-charge investigative reporter who does everything she can to avoid being a curse’s next victim. Rose, meanwhile, is in no shape to be able to pull anything like that off. Although, to be fair to her and all the other victims, the implication is that there truly is no escape from this deadly fate. (There may be a possible exception reminiscent of the rules of the Final Destination, but that option doesn’t exactly come off as particularly appealing either.) Smile would certainly be a lot more fun if we had a more well-rested, defiant protagonist. But I don’t want to dismiss it completely, because it strikes me as a telling portrait of the fog of living through mental illness and post-trauma. It’s painful to witness, but worth digesting.

Smile is Recommended If You Like: The Ring, It Follows, The Grudge, Final Destination (Spoiler Alert?)

Grade: 3 out of 5 Smiles

‘Catherine Called Birdy’: Kickin’ It Teen Style 1290 AD Edition

September 21, 2022

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Look at that Birdy fly! (CREDIT: Alex Bailey/© Amazon Content Services LLC)

Starring: Bella Ramsey, Andrew Scott, Billie Piper, Joe Alwyn, Dean Charles-Chapman, Paul Kaye, Lesley Sharp, Sophie Okonedo, Ralph Ineson, Michael Woolfitt, Isis Hainsworth, Archie Renaux

Director: Lena Dunham

Running Time: 108 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for The Power of Suggestion

Release Date: September 23, 2022 (Theaters)/October 7, 2022 (Amazon Prime Video)

What’s It About?: What was life like for a sassy, opinionated teenage girl in 1290 England? That’s what Catherine Called Birdy is here to let us know! Based on a 1994 children’s novel by Karen Cushman, it follows the always rambunctious days of the irrepressible Lady Catherine (Bella Ramsey), aka (you guessed it) “Birdy.” She’s an unmistakably independent young woman, but what does that even mean in a patriarchal medieval society? Despite her unique wants and desires as a human being in her own right, the standards of the time insist that she’s little more than a bargaining chip for marriage. She might drive her parents (Andrew “Hot Priest” Scott and Billie “Companion Rose” Piper) batty, but they do love her. Although, they’re also in quite the financial bind, so they could really use that dowry moolah from even the oldest, ugliest, most grotesque suitor. What’s a little Birdy to do?!

What Made an Impression?: There’s something mystical about watching a story set in a time before mass telecommunication. Since there’s no video evidence of the era, any picture of centuries ago is a mere approximation. But this wasn’t exactly a problem for the people when they were alive in 1290. In fact, I would go so far as to say that nobody ever thought about that sort of thing, unless they were unusually philosophically inclined. Certainly, Birdy and her family and friends don’t concern themselves with such thoughts; instead, they mostly just go about their routines and live their lives as they are wont to do. So the fact that we get to have a peek into those lives arrives like a mysterious gift from the universe, even if it is all fully fictional.

On a more quotidian level, I also appreciate that Catherine Called Birdy is family-friendly without feeling like it’s holding back. There are several moments where it feels frighteningly possible that things could turn bloody and/or abusive. And while we’re spared the worst details, we’re not spared the vicarious experience of what it’s like to be a teenage girl at a time when that meant you were basically property. Ramsey boils it all together with a spirited, feral performance that should hook in plenty of viewers.

Catherine Called Birdy is Recommended If You Like: Rolling around on hills, Occasional swordplay, The scene with Dennis the Peasant from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Dowries

‘The Silent Twins’ Confounds and Fascinates

September 15, 2022

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How silent ARE they?! (CREDIT: Courtesy of Lukasz Bak/Focus Features)

Starring: Letitia Wright, Tamara Lawrance, Leah Mondesir-Simmonds, Eva-Arianna Baxter, Nadine Marshall, Treva Etienne, Michael Smiley, Jack Bandeira, Amarah-Jae St. Aubyn

Director: Agnieszka Smoczyńska

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: R for Teens Misbehaving

Release Date: September 16, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Identical twins June and Jennifer Gibbons don’t exactly like communicating with anyone besides each other. They keep extensive diaries and invent a sort of sing-song patter with an oddly clipped accent, but again, that’s just for themselves. It’s almost invasive that we get to see a movie version of them doing this, even if it’s not documentary footage. Twins are notorious for having their own unique twin language, which is apparently so common that there’s a name (and Wikipedia page) for it. It’s called “cryptophasia,” and the Gibbonses have the most extreme version I’ve ever witnessed. They talk and walk and dance in unison. It’s practically telepathic. But it also cuts them off from the rest of their family and the rest of society, as they stumble into teenage rebelliousness and eventually end up in a mental hospital.

What Made an Impression?: Much like its real-life subjects, The Silent Twins seems to be creating its own vernacular, one that I found kind of impenetrable. Ambitious movies are wont to attempt such a thing, and it’s always a gamble whether or not the audience can pick up on it. I found myself in a blur, but I certainly appreciated the effort. The ladies playing the twins certainly give it their all, with Letitia Wright as June and Tamara Lawrance as Jennifer. And as the younger versions, Leah Mondesir-Simmonds and Eva-Arianna Baxter are just as revelatory.

But for as unique as much of this story and much of the filmmaking are, the mischief that June and Jennifer get up to is rather garden variety. Now, if the events that we see are what really happened (or close to it), I’m not asking for any fabulation. But the way it all plays out struck me as a little ho-hum. Maybe there’s just a natural oomph of resistance when you try to fit a typical narrative engine onto such an atypical subject. There’s plenty to dig in and analyze here, though; it’s just not always electric.

The Silent Twins is Recommended If You Like: Secret twin languages, The Dark Side of Coming-of-Age

Grade: 3 out of 5 Secret Languages

Mia Goth Reveals the ‘Pearl’ Within

September 14, 2022

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Pearls Prays for Popularity (CREDIT: Christopher Moss/A24)

Starring: Mia Goth, David Corenswet, Tandi Wright, Matthew Sunderland, Emma Jenkins-Purro, Alistair Sewell

Director: Ti West

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloodlust Breaking Free and Some Peaks at Naughty “Stag Films”

Release Date: September 16, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Did you see this spring’s X and wonder what the deal was with that old lady? I know I sure did. Well, it turns out that Ti West actually made two movies at once, so now we get to discover what Pearl’s formative years were really like! It’s 1918, Mia Goth has shed the old lady makeup, and she and her family are living a semi-secluded life to avoid the horrors of World War I and the Spanish Flu pandemic. But Pearl longs for so much more than that! She wasn’t born to care for her paralyzed father (Matthew Sunderland) and simply wait for her husband’s return while her domineering mother (Tandi Wright) browbeats her into submission. She can’t help but dream of stardom, which she hopes to achieve while hanging out with a local hunky projectionist (David Corenswet) and auditioning for a dance troupe with her sister-in-law (Emma Jenkins-Purro). And if any of this doesn’t work out for her? Hoo boy, you’d better stay out of her way.

What Made an Impression?: I haven’t seen very many movies set in the 1910s, so I didn’t know quite what to expect in regards to Pearl making the most of its setting. But I was still thrown for quite a loop. When the title character starts dancing around her barn and serenading her animals, I was getting wholesome classic sitcom vibes in the vein of Green Acres and Petticoat Junction. The fanciful font used in the credits is also reminiscent of fantastical programs like Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie. Maybe those shows were taking some of their cues from Old Hollywood? Regardless of the exact nature of the influences, this is an unmistakable throwback to an era when all of the main character’s most melodramatic emotions are all over every single inch of the celluloid.

Let’s make absolutely no mistake about it, this is a 100% tour de force for Ms. Mia Goth. With her big saucer eyes and ethereal voice, she’s always been a distinctive screen presence, and that’s never been truer than it is here. Her sheer force of will ensures that the connection between the two movies (thus far) in this series is as deep as possible. Pearl and her other X character of Max are historical doppelgängers, bound by a shared desire to become a star at all costs. When that drive manifests itself in the form of an impromptu song-and-dance number with a scarecrow, there’s no question that I’m all in. You all should feel the same.

Pearl is Recommended If You Like: Classic Hollywood, Classic sitcoms, Classic slashers

Grade: 4 out of 5 Axes

Time to Confess What I Thought About ‘Confless, Fletch’!

September 13, 2022

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So many confessions, so little time (CREDIT: Miramax/Paramount)

Starring: Jon Hamm, Roy Wood Jr., Lorenza Izzo, Ayden Mayeri, Marcia Gay Harden, Kyle MacLachlan, John Slattery, Annie Mumolo, John Behlmann

Director: Greg Mottola

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Gunfire and a Little Bit of Wacky Horniness

Release Date: September 16, 2022 (Theaters and On Demand)

What’s It About?: Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher is back! But did he ever really go away? Well, yeah, kind of. Chevy Chase played him in a couple of outings in the 80s, but they haven’t really left much of a lasting cultural impression on the younger generations. If you’re wondering how Jon Hamm could ever take over a part made famous by Mr. Pratfall-in-Chief, be assured that it doesn’t matter. The version of this slippery investigative reporter we meet in Confess, Fletch hardly resembles the white guy who sported an Afro wig and a Lakers jersey. He bumbles around a bit, but so would just about anyone who gets accused of murder in a case of mistaken identity. Anyway, Fletch sets out to clear his name and interacts with a bunch of wacky characters along the way. But, you may be wondering, are they wacky enough?

What Made an Impression?: There are a few early scenes in Confess, Fletch in which Hamm seems to be trying to summon his inner Chevy Chase, and I’m like, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Sure, he can be funny despite his preternatural handsomeness, but it’s not of the crash-into-everything, smart aleck variety. What he can nail is the psychopath lurking underneath the pristine surface. But ultimately he’s not asked to deliver either of these personas. Instead, he’s more of the straight man reacting to all the chaos around him (in various flavors of cockamamie from the likes of Annie Mumolo, Marcia Gary Harden, and Kyle MacLachlan). Hamm can certainly provide that competently, but it’s hardly spectacular. Which pretty much describes this movie as a whole.

But one actor does shine especially bright, and that would be Ayden Mayeri, who’s having quite the breakout year, along with her turns in Spin Me Round and Apple TV+’s The Afterparty. She’s one of the two detectives (alongside Roy Wood Jr.) on Fletch’s tail, and at first it seems like she’s playing your typical flummoxed, overmatched authority figure. But she knows what she’s doing, despite her bouts of clumsiness. Sure, she may spill a milkshake all over her shirt, but her investigative instincts are sharp. She gets a big “thank you” from Fletch at the end, and I’m happy to second that sentiment.

Confess, Fletch is Recommended If You Like: Fidelity to source material that’s not super famous

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Lakers Caps

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