‘The Bikeriders’ Review: Looking for Whatever Comes Their Way

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Going whole hog (CREDIT: Kyle Kaplan/Focus Features. © 2024 Focus Features. All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Jodie Comer, Austin Butler, Tom Hardy, Mike Faist, Michael Shannon, Norman Reedus, Boyd Holbrook, Damon Herriman, Beau Knapp, Emory Cohen, Karl Glusman, Happy Anderson

Director: Jeff Nichols

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: R for Fist Fights, Knife Fights, and a Few Guns

Release Date: June 14, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: In 1960s Chicago, a man named Johnny (Tom Hardy) starts hearing the Call of the Hog. He then founds the Vandals MC motorcycle club, and pretty soon his motley crew are devoting their entire social lives to the open road and brawl-filled picnics. Threatening to upend it all is a hothead named Benny (Austin Butler), who holds an irresistible pull over the outsider Kathy (Jodie Comer). Everyone tried to warn Kathy away from Benny, but they just can’t help but marry each other. The Bikeriders was inspired by a book of the same name by photojournalist Danny Lyon, so the movie is framed by Mike Faist as Danny interviewing the major players in this subculture.

What Made an Impression?: Just Something to Do: Strangely enough, Johnny never appears to be particularly enthralled by motorcycles. Instead, he seems to have been attracted by what they represent, and even that motivation is rather haphazard. One day, he just happened to be watching the 1953 biker flick The Wild One, which features Marlon Brando infamously uttering “Whaddya got?” when someone asks him what he’s rebelling against. Johnny doesn’t seem particularly constrained by his suburban life as a husband and father (from what little we see of him in that role), but he’s nevertheless inexplicably and unmistakably drawn to the siren song of rebellion. Meanwhile, Benny at least clearly relishes his time cruising down the street, but that love is surely too elemental for him to ever explain where it comes from. At least Michael Shannon as Zipco offers some sort of life philosophy in the form of resenting his “pinko” brother. But that characterization is just as mystifying when you realize that “pinko” to him doesn’t mean “Communist” so much as “attends college” and “doesn’t do enough hard labor.”
No Way to Fathom It: The contrast between Johnny and Benny had me thinking of the yin-yang dynamic between the Salvatore Brothers on The Vampire Diaries. If you’ve never seen that CW bloodsucker series, here’s what you need to know: Damon Salvatore is the dangerous Benny, while Stefan Salvatore is the less frightening Johnny. Eventually, though, in both TVD and The Bikeriders, our initial assumptions get flipped on our head. The analogue is far from a perfect one-to-one match, but the point is that The Bikeriders left me flummoxed by the seeming randomness of its characters’ fates. Some of the Vandals who are perpetually in Death’s crosshairs somehow survive, while others who are ostensibly impenetrable bite the dust, and yet others reform themselves out of nowhere or at least disappear. It’s all fairly believable, but too thoroughly matter-of-fact to leave much of an impression.

The Bikeriders is Recommended If You Like: Laconic conversations, Wild accent swings, Impulsiveness

Grade: 3 out of 5 Motorcycles

That’s Auntertainment! Episode 56: Young Sheldon

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Young Sheldon petting a dog (CREDIT: CBS/Screenshot)

Jeff and Aunt Beth are having a great June by diving into the Sheldonverse.

‘Inside Out 2,’ Anxiety Boogaloo

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You put the Inside Out, you put the Outside In (CREDIT: Pixar/Screenshot)

Starring: Amy Poehler, Maya Hawke, Phyllis Smith, Kensington Tallman, Tony Hale, Lewis Black, Liza Lapira, Ayo Edebiri, Adèle Exarchopoulos, Paul Walter Hauser, Diane Lane, Kyle MacLachlan, Sumayyah Nuriddin-Green, Grace Lu, Yong Yea, Yvette Nicole Brown, Ron Funches, James Austin Johnson, Steve Purcell, Dave Goelz, Kirk Thatcher, Frank Oz, Paula Pell, June Squibb, Pete Docter

Director: Kelsey Mann

Running Time: 96 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: June 14, 2024 (Theaters)

I often like to ask if the movies that I watch make me want to be what they are. But of course, what Inside Out and Inside Out 2 posit is that, we are all already inside out. How twisted! Just like Pouchy – what a dynamite addition. Speaking of new characters, I’m already nostalgic for Nostalgia. Damn, that anxiety attack was exhilarating. Don’t spin around with a baseball bat for a dizzy race right before watching this movie!

Grade: 4001 Insides out of 5000 Outs

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 6/14/24

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A Screenshot from a Documentary Movie About a Tennis Guy (CREDIT: Prime Video/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Federer: Twelve Final Days (June 20 on Amazon Prime Video) – Documentary about a tennis player.
Inside Out 2 (Theaters)

TV
-Tony Awards (June 16 on CBS and Paramount+)

Music
-John Cale, Optical Illusion
-The Decemberists, As It Ever Was, So It Will Be Again
-Moby, Always Centered at Night

Sports
-U.S. Olympic Swimming Trials (June 15-23 on NBC, USA, and Peacock) – The Road to Paris
-Women’s PGA Championship (June 20-23 on NBC, Golf Channel, and Peacock)

Katherine Parr and Henry VIII Square Off in the Elusive ‘Firebrand’

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This queen is on Fire(brand)? (CREDIT: Larry Horricks)

Starring: Alicia Vikander, Jude Law, Eddie Marsan, Ruby Bentall, Bryony Hannah, Sam Riley, Maia Jemmett, Amr Waked, Erin Doherty, Junia Rees, Patsy Ferran, Patrick Buckley, Simon Russell Beale, Mia Threapleton

Director: Karim Aïnouz

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: R for Rowdy Royalty

Release Date: June 14, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Henry VIII is one of the most famous and dramatized kings in British history. That makes sense, as there’s plenty of drama to be mined. He had six wives who met a variety of interesting, often deadly, fates, and he reigned at a time when England was in the midst of world-rearranging religious strife. So there are a variety of potential angles to take if you’re going to make a movie set during his reign. Firebrand focuses on his last wife, Katherine Parr, who finds herself holding court in the midst of daily intrigue and sinister gossip. She ends up caught between her attempts to appease the king and her dalliances with a Protestant preacher who’s deemed a heretic, while also trying to serve as a mother as best she can to her fretful princely stepchildren.

What Made an Impression?: Parr for the Course: For this review, I’m basically going to do a performance analysis for the two leads, because that’s what held my attention. My bet is that most people’s exposure to Katherine in terms of pop culture (if they have any exposure at all) is the musical Six. But of course, that stage show is about all of Henry’s wives as opposed to just Katherine in particular. Either way, Alicia Vikander certainly doesn’t play her like a modern pop star. No, instead her Katherine is in a constant state of dilemma and anguish, fundamentally unable to please anyone she cares about, and with no room to maneuver to allow herself any personal satisfaction. She’s just canny enough to survive, but even that is largely attributable to a lucky twist of fate.
He’s Henry VIII, He Is?: Jude Law would be far from my first choice to play Henry VIII, as he strikes me as a bit too handsome and suave to play the famously rotund king. And in fact, when he first showed up in Firebrand, I had flashbacks to his time as The Young Pope, which had me thinking, “Is this Henry supposed to be… hot?” The rest of the movie quickly disabused me of that notion, as Law’s Henry is mad, brutish, and beset by ulcers. He’s quickly sliding into the grips of the Grim Reaper, and that’s frankly a relief to everyone around him. Law is appropriately devoid of vanity, but this Henry is simply too sick for there to be enough room to make him truly compelling.

Firebrand is Recommended If You’re: Just a big fan of Henry VIII’s wives

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Heresies

Horror 2-Pack Review: ‘The Watchers’ Are ‘In a Violent Nature’

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Watching Nature (CREDIT: IFC Films/Screenshot; Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

In a Violent Nature

Starring: Ry Barrett, Andrea Pavlovic, Cameron Love, Reece Presley, Liam Leone, Charlotte Creaghan, Lea Rose Sebastianis, Sam Roulston, Alexander Oliver, Lauren Taylor, Timothy Paul McCarthy

Director: Chris Nash

Running Time: 94 Minutes

Rating: Unrated

Release Date: May 31, 2024 (Theaters)

Stomach was knotted (from ice cream)

The Watchers

Starring: Dakota Fanning, Olwen Fouéré, Georgina Campbell, Oliver Finnegan, Alistair Brammer, John Lynch

Director: Ishana Night Shyamalan

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)

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Spring Cleaning 2024 Movie Review Round-Up

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CREDIT: Amazon Prime Video

There are a handful of movies I saw in May that I haven’t shared any extended thoughts about yet, so here’s a Spring Cleaning-themed review roundup. Typically May is considered part of the summer movie season, but that leaves short shrift to the time of year when it actually is spring. If May 1-Labor Day is Summer Movie Season, and October-December is Fall Movie Season, and Thanksgiving-New Year’s is Holiday Movie Season, and January-February is Awards Holdovers/Winter Dumping Ground Season, well then, we really only March and April for Spring Movie Season, and a good chunk of March is spent fretting about the Oscars! So let’s give some love to the month with the best weather of the year (apologies to those of you with vernal allergies) and check in on the May spring movies.

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 6/7/24

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Will Fantasmas be fantasmic? (CREDIT: HBO/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Bad Boys: Ride or Die (Theaters) – This is the fourth Bad Boys. The third one was called “for Life.”
I Used to Be Funny (Theaters) – Rachel Sennott is in this.
Tuesday (Theaters)
The Watchers (Theaters)

TV
Fantasmas Series Premiere (June 7 on HBO) – Starring Julio Torres.

Music
-Aurora, What Happened to the Heart?
-Bon Jovi, Forever
-Charli XCX, Brat

Sports
-Belmont Stakes (June 8 on FOX)
-2024 US Open (June 13-16 on NBC, USA, and Peacock) – Golfing in Pinehurst Resort.

SNL Season 49: How Did it Go?

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CREDIT: NBC/Screenshots

Sometimes I rank my favorite sketches of the past SNL season, sometimes I just sit and think about random nonsense. For my Season 49 round-up, here’s how it’s going to go: I’ll scan over each episode and remind myself what I thought and then decide which are the parts I feel most compelled to write (aka type) about. I might mention my favorite sketches, I might mention my favorite hosts and musical guests, and I might even mention my favorite Weekend Update segments! We’ll see how it goes! I haven’t decided yet. We’re going to figure it out together.

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‘Bad Boys: Ride or Die’ Has Some Lies to Clear Up

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Bad Boys, Bad Boys, what you gonna ride? What you gonna ride, when you ride or die? (CREDIT: Frank Masi/Columbia Pictures)

Starring: Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Vanessa Hudgens, Alexander Ludwig, Paola Núñez, Eric Dane, Ioan Gruffudd, Jacob Scipio, Melanie Liburd, Tasha Smith, Rhea Seehorn, Joe Pantoliano, Tiffany Haddish, John Salley, DJ Khaled, Dennis Greene, Quinn Hemphill

Directors: Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: R for Heavy Artillery and the Dirty Cops That Fire Them

Release Date: June 7, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Don’t speak ill of the dead, or a couple of flashy Miami police detectives might just start investigating your ass. When the late Captain Conrad Howard (Joe Pantoliano) is posthumously accused of collaborating with a drug cartel, Detectives Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) set out to clear their mentor’s good name. It seems stunningly obvious that Howard is innocent, but the cartel’s tendrils of influence are inescapable, and their arsenal is bottomless. Plus, it doesn’t help that the best course of action involves transferring Mike’s incarcerated son Armando (Jacob Scipio) so that he can ID the real perp. Adding to the hurricane is the fact that Captain Howard’s US Marshal daughter Judy (Rhea Seehorn) has her own plan to clear her dad’s name that doesn’t involve trusting Mike or Marcus.

What Made an Impression?: They’re Really Getting Too Old For This S-: The last Bad Boys flick came out four years ago, and it was already the sort of legacy action sequel that was majorly about how its main characters are aging out of their high-octane lifestyles. Ride or Die ramps that angle up right from the get-go, with Marcus suffering a widow maker heart attack after indulging in a few too many Skittles and gas station hot dogs. Meanwhile, Mike is having a series of inexplicable panic attacks. As it plays out, though, this is really more about the odd couple dynamic, as Lawrence was never exactly the action star specimen that Smith has been for most of his career. While this thread could have been more meditative, I appreciate that it’s at least occasionally psychedelic, with Marcus going on a rather visually inventive spiritual journey following his heart attack. The rest of the movie is typical gunfire-filled mayhem, but at least there’s room for the leads to occasionally riff about mystical mumbo-jumbo.
Fancy Bad Boys: Sometimes I just want to spotlight one weird specific moment from a movie without covering too many of the most important details. Ride or Die is pretty much a retread of Bad Boys for Life, after all (at least in terms of vibes, if not necessarily plot). But what For Life didn’t have is Mike and Marcus pretending to be Reba McEntire superfans to get themselves out of a pickle. If you’ve seen the trailer, you already know that they’re forced at gunpoint to sing their favorite song by the country superstar to prove their bona fides. And if that moment had you wondering if we get a Reba rendition of the Inner Circle song that serves as this franchise’s namesake, well, then I must say that you are thinking clearly. And that’s what I’m going to choose to focus on whenever I think about this movie.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die is Recommended If You Like: Martin Lawrence being really silly, Will Smith being really annoyed, Rhea Seehorn being really serious

Grade: 3 out of 5 Posthumous Video Messages

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