‘The Garfield Movie’ is Like 100 Tons of the Silliest Lasagna You’ve Ever Consumed

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This review was written on a Monday. (CREDIT: DNEG Animation)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Samuel L. Jackson, Hannah Waddingham, Ving Rhames, Nicholas Hoult, Cecily Strong, Harvey Guillén, Brett Goldstein, Bowen Yang, Janelle James, Snoop Dogg

Director: Mark Dindal

Running Time: 101 Minutes

Rating: PG for Kitty Calamities

Release Date: May 24, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Everyone’s favorite lasagna-loving feline is back on the big screen, and this time, it’s called… The Garfield Movie! (I guess all those other cinematic outings were merely “A” Garfield Movie?) Anyway, now he’s voiced by Chris Pratt, and his gluttony is fueled by his owner Jon Arbuckle’s (Nicholas Hoult) seemingly limitless credit card and all the food delivery apps he can get his paws. He’s pretty happy just lounging around devouring his daily feasts with his beagle buddy Odie (Harvey Guillén). But then his absentee dad Vic (Samuel L. Jackson) shows up out of the blue to wrangle him into a hero’s journey, as they attempt to heist some milk from a farm to square away Vic’s debt with Jinx (Hannah Waddingham), the devilish crime boss Persian cat.

What Made an Impression?: Slingshot All Day: I’m not going to call out a cartoon for its unrealistic portrayal of physics. After all, part of the advantages of this medium is that it doesn’t have to be bound by the laws of science in the same way that live action movies are. That comes into play with a series of train-based set pieces, as Garfield fails to board one of the cars cleanly and ends up getting bounced around by a ridiculous series of objects providing an inordinate amount of thrust. I wasn’t scandalized by the lack of respect for the natural world, but I was befuddled. Perhaps if I had been in a sillier mood, I would have been more ready to throw out a laugh or several.
Wait, What World is This?: The plot of The Garfield Movie isn’t much to write about (or at least it’s not much that I’m interested in writing about), so instead I’m focusing on the weird details that made me go, what the heck is the context here? To wit: at one point during Garfield’s adventures getting tossed hither and thither, he flies by a giant balloon float version of… himself. So does that mean that this movie is taking place on Thanksgiving? And that Garfield is famous in this world as an actual real-world somewhat-anthropomorphic kitty?
Also, what’s the deal with all the blatant product placement? I guess Garfield is just a classic capitalist consumer with a bad case of brand loyalty. Perhaps you won’t notice these details as much as I did. Or perhaps you will notice them but will find them amusing. The people in my screening who were cracking up the most appeared to be in their twenties or thirties, so you apparently don’t need to be a kid for these shenanigans to work. But you probably do need to hate Mondays and LOVE telling people that you hate Mondays.

The Garfield Movie is Recommended If You: Believe That Mass Quantities of Food Are the Most Hilarious Thing Ever

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Tabbies

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: Jake Gyllenhaal/Sabrina Carpenter

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A Trio of 49-Year-Olds (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

Congratulations, everybody! We made it to the end of another shenanigan-filled year of Saturday Night Live. The finale of Season 49 was hosted by none other than Jake Gyllenhaal (who will always be “Joe Geronimo” to me), with musical guest duties fulfilled by Sabrina Carpenter, who is also recognized for his acting resume.

For this review, I’ll be assessing each sketch in honor of a frequent SNL guest by asking that eternal question: Would Drew Barrymore Like That?

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 5/17/24

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CREDIT: Paramount Plus/Screenshot

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Babes (Theaters)
Back to Black (Theaters)
IF (Theaters)
The Strangers: Chapter 1 (Theaters)

TV
RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 9 Premiere (May 17 on Paramount+)
-Marvel Studios’ Assembled: The Making of X-Men ’97 (May 22 on Disney+) – I don’t always watch these BTS docs, but I do when they’re about X-Men ’97.
Don’t Forget the Lyrics Season Premiere (May 23 on FOX)
Evil Season 4 Premiere (May 23 on Paramount+) – To be followed by a mini Season 5 (the Final Season) soon thereafter).

Music
-Cage the Elephant, Neon Pill
-Billie Eilish, Hit Me Hard and Soft
-Beth Gibbons, Lives Outgrown – Lead singer of Portishead.
-Slash, Orgy of the Damned

Sports
-Preakness Stakes (May 18 on NBC)

If You Can Imagine ‘IF,’ the IFs Will Come

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If, if, if, uh… (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Cailey Fleming, Ryan Reynolds, John Krasinski, Fiona Shaw, Alan Kim, Steve Carell, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Liza Colón-Zayas, Bobby Moynihan, Louis Gosset Jr., Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Maya Rudolph, Jon Stewart, Sam Rockwell, Sebastian Maniscalco, Christopher Meloni, Awkwafina, Richard Jenkins, Blake Lively, George Clooney, Matthew Rhys, Bradley Cooper, Amy Schumer, Keegan-Michael Key

Director: John Krasinski

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG for Mild Potty Humor and Imaginary Nudity

Release Date: May 17, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Ever since her mom died, 12-year-old Bea (Cailey Fleming) has pretty much forgotten how to have fun. It certainly doesn’t help that her dad (John Krasinski) is about to undergo heart surgery, though he tries to maintain her childlike wonder with his constant magic tricks and corny gags. While staying at the NYC apartment of her grandmother (Fiona Shaw), she encounters a couple of cartoon characters, as well as their seemingly human partner named Cal (Ryan Reynolds). As it turns out, they’re imaginary friends (or IFs, as they like to be abbreviated), and it’s highly unusual for someone of Bea’s age to be able to see them. But she could really use the power of imagination right now. Or maybe, these supernatural hypothetical creatures could really use the power of Bea right now.

What Made an Impression?: Tina Turner-ing Back the Clock: Baa eventually meets a whole crew of IFs in their hideaway on the Coney Island boardwalk. The encounter is fueled by IF‘s big set piece: an imagination-fueled dance number set to Tina Turner’s 1984 hit “Better Be Good to Me.” Honestly, it’s quite possibly my favorite cinematic choreography since Napoleon Dynamite let loose to some Jamiroquai 20 years ago. If you told me that IF was really just writer-director Krasinski’s excuse to make an entire movie around his own unique tribute to Turner, I would buy it. Such a film did not have to be about imaginary friends, but as it is, it worked out quite swimmingly.
Imaginary Friends, Real Motivation: I wasn’t expecting to tear up at IF, as all indications pointed to it being a simple sugar rush. But its final act lays its thesis out for the taking. As Bea’s journey would have it, imaginary friends aren’t mere fake companions; instead, they’re representations of our innermost desires. We might not be able to “see” them anymore after we grow up, but remaining in touch with them is essential to accomplish our dreams. In that sense, they’re essentially embodiments of everyone’s unique motivations. So the next time you look at a childhood photo or drawing that makes you suddenly remember a big purple monster or a talking ice cube, roll with it. A satisfying life might just depend on it.

IF is Recommended If You Like: Inside Out, Humorless kid protagonists, Tina Turner

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 IFs

‘Babes’ Review: Ilana Glazer and Michelle Buteau Are a Couple of Babes Raising Some Babes

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Hey, Babe. (CREDIT: Gwen Capistran/NEON)

Starring: Ilana Glazer, Michelle Buteau, Hasan Minhaj, John Carroll Lynch, Stephan James, Sandra Bernhard, Oliver Platt

Director: Pamela Adlon

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: R for Filterless Conversations

Release Date: May 17, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Eden (Ilana Glazer) and Dawn (Michelle Buteau) are at that stage of life when maintaining annual traditions necessitates taking four different subway lines and futilely attempting to have one last great restaurant feast before going into labor. They’re the titular Babes, insofar as that’s a term of endearment for platonic life partners. But “Babes” also refers to actual children, who make quite an impression on this story. There’s Dawn’s toddler son, who’s quite the handful when he starts regressing after his new baby sister arrives. And then there’s the bun growing in Eden’s oven after a life-changing one-night stand. When she decides to keep the baby, Dawn is right there to support her along the whole journey, but this could just be the ultimate test of their friendship.

What Made an Impression?: Same City, New Broads: In addition to starring, Glazer co-wrote the screenplay of Babes (alongside Josh Rabinowitz), while Pamela Adlon handled directing duties (in her feature debut). Glazer is best known for the Comedy Central sitcom Broad City, which she co-created and co-starred in along with her good buddy Abbi Jacobson, while Adlon is most recently known for the FX sitcom Better Things. While I’m sure there’s plenty of overlap in the fandom of those shows (myself included), they represent two tonal extremes. Whereas Broad City is whimsical and boisterous, Better Things is much more low-key and sarcastic. Glazer and Adlon’s collaboration unsurprisingly turns out to be a real peanut butter-and-hot sauce situation, with the slang-heavy exaggerated dialogue that is Glazer’s calling card proving to be an odd fit with the more grounded approach of just about everyone else in Babes. But that clashing sensibility might just be the point. One could theorize that Better Things is the mellowed, middle age version of Broad City, with Babes serving as the missing link to motherhood in between.
A Question of Family: One common reason for friendships drifting apart is the onset of parenthood for one friend, while others remain childless. But what Babes presupposes is, maybe that drifting apart can happen even when both friends are having kids. In the case of Eden and Dawn, it’s a matter of evolving values and possibly incompatible expectations of their relationship. The way Eden sees it, she and Dawn are more family than friends, especially because they’ve known each other longer than Dawn has known her husband (Hasan Minhaj) or either of her kids. Alas, her perhaps co-dependent demands to maintain some sort of status quo don’t sufficiently reckon with practical matters of reality. Nevertheless, her desire brings up a fair and urgent crossroads that demands to be answered: when friendship stops being convenient, how do you define the terms in which you show up for each other?
Use Your Head: If you were a regular viewer of The Drew Carey Show in the 90s and early 2000s, and a time-traveling visitor from the 2020s showed up and asked you to guess which cast member of that sitcom would eventually play a gynecologist who tries to please his wife with a series of toupees and other ineffective baldness solutions, do you think you could correctly guess the answer? Of course you could! Who else could it be besides John Carroll Lynch?! As Eden’s OB-GYN, he’s a sadsack clown of a man. But he’s also a fully trustworthy professional. In other words, he’s exactly the sort of medical figure who can manage to sufficiently match wits with an Ilana Glazer character and guide her into the messy miracle that is a vagina yawning wide enough to release a new human into the world. John Carroll Lynch: Total Babe.

Babes is Recommended If You Like: Stretching out your vowels, The messy fluids of life, Character actor dads

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Breast Pumps

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: Maya Rudolph/Vampire Weekend

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A Bloody Good Time (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

Hello, mother (Maya Rudolph). Hello, father (Lorne Michaels?). Here I am, reviewing SNL a little later than I usually do, as I was at a destination wedding on Saturday and then traveling by plane, train, and automobile on Sunday. But as of Monday evening, I’ve finally watched the 19th episode of Season 49! It featured showbiz veterans in the form of Ms. Maya Rudolph and Misters Vampire Weekend.

Instead of sticking to a discrete theme for this review, I’m just going to provide quick thoughts for each sketch and segment, but still with my signature wacky style.

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 5/10/24

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Oh, Ncut! (CREDIT: Disney+)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (Theaters)

TV
Doctor Who Season 14 Premiere (May 10 on Disney+)
The Simpsons: May the 12 Be With You (May 10 on Disney+)
-TIME100: The World’s Best Influential People (May 12 on ABC)
-Best of The Tonight Show: 10 Years of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (May 14 on NBC) – Retrospective.
Young Sheldon Series Finale (May 16 on CBS) – When does Old Sheldon premiere?

Music
-Sebastian Bach, Child Within the Man
-Kings of Leon, Can We Please Have Fun

Sports
-NCAA Women’s Lacrosse Tournament (May 10-26 on the ESPN family of channels)
-PGA Championship (May 16-19 on ESPN and CBS)

‘Tarot,’ or Tar-no?

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When in Tarot, do as the Tarots do (CREDIT: Screen Gems)

Starring: Harriet Slater, Jacob Batalon, Avantika, Adain Bradley, Humberly González, Wolfgang Novogratz, Larsen Thompson, Olwen Fouéré

Directors: Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: May 3, 2024 (Theaters)

Is Tarot (The Movie) pro-divination or anti-divination? Fortunately, when it comes to horror, it doesn’t matter! This most definitely ain’t gonna change any paradigms about those Fool and Death Cards, but it does the trick for a Friday Night PG-13 Doopy Fright Flick. In conclusion, my visit to Make-Believe Tarot Land was perfectly cromulent!

Grade: Final Destination for Dummies

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: Dua Lipa/Dua Lipa

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Do a Lipa Day (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

I enjoy Dua Lipa, and apparently Saturday Night Live does too. Because after serving as musical guest for a couple of episodes, she’s now reached that rarefied territory of being host and musical guest on the very same show. It’s an interesting choice, because while she’s not exactly known for comedy and she hasn’t done a ton of acting, she is pretty sharp. She strikes me as the kind of a person who can read a comedy script and immediately recognize what is funny about it and then go ahead and emphasize the exact right words.

For my review of this episode, I’m going to go ahead and utilize that old standby strategy of mine and transcribe the notes I took while watching.

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 5/3/24

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Darkness on the Edge of Matter and on the Edgerton (CREDIT: Apple TV+)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Evil Does Not Exist (Theaters)
The Fall Guy (Theaters)
I Saw the TV Glow (Theaters)
The Phantom Menace 25th Anniversary Re-Release (Theaters) – I probably won’t have enough time to see this, but I wanted to alert everyone else.
Tarot (Theaters)
Unfrosted (May 3 on Netflix) – Pop-Tarts. Seinfeld.

TV
-John Mulaney Presents: Everybody’s in L.A. (May 3 and May 6-10 on Netflix)
Dark Matter Series Premiere (May 8 on Apple TV+) – I really liked the book that this is based on.
Reginald the Vampire Season 2 Premiere (May 8 on Syfy)

Music
-John Carpenter, Lost Themes IV: Noir
-Dua Lipa, Radical Optimism
-Sia, Reasonable Woman

Sports
-Kentucky Derby (May 4 on NBC)
-NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Tournament (May 8-27 on the ESPN family of channels)

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