Is “selfie” a Greek Word? (CREDIT: Yannis Drakoulidis/Focus Features)
Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Louis Mandylor, Elena Kampouris, Lainie Kazan, Andrea Martin, Maria Vacratsis, Melina Kotselou, Elias Kacavas, Gia Carides, Joey Fatone, Gerry Mendicino, Stephanie Nur
Director: Nia Vardalos
Running Time: 92 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for A Quick Trip to a Nude Beach and a Lack of Familial Boundaries
Release Date: September 8, 2023 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Toula Portokalos (Nia Vardalos) still has a wacky Greek family, but they’re not quite as boisterous as they used to be. Her dad Gus has passed away, her mom Maria (Lainie Kazan) is starting to get a little senile, and the once-regular family dinners are now few and far between. But they need to properly honor Gus’ legacy, so it’s time to head back to the homeland to make good on his final wish and deliver a journal to some of his childhood friends. Ergo, it’s time for pretty much the entire Greek population of Chicago to crowd onto a plane and enjoy several days of the sunny, low-key Mediterranean lifestyle.
What Made an Impression?: Low-Stress Love Stories: In case you’re worried about whether or not Gus’ journal is successfully delivered, well, I won’t spoil it completely. But I will say that it’s not an especially difficult task, and a rather simple MacGuffin to build an entire plot around. Which is one way of saying that there are other things going on to fill up an hour and a half, like the awkward courtship between Toula and Ian’s (John Corbett) college-age daughter Paris (Elena Kampouris) and some guy she ghosted named Aristotle (Elias Kacavas). Aristotle is along for the trip ostensibly as Aunt Voula’s (Andrea Martin) assistant, but we can all easily see through that thin cover of matchmaking. Anyway, Paris and Aristotle quickly become sweet on each other with minimal conflict. There’s some business about her failing in school, but that’s basically solved just as easily through sheer gumption. Another love story pops up as well and gets a bit of side eye because one of the characters is a refugee. But that also becomes not a big deal just as quickly. Maybe after all the rigamarole about Ian not being Greek, the family just decided to immediately accept any and all notions of love. It’s All Greeks to Greeks: The Portokalos family has a habit of pointing out that certain words and bits of culture are – believe it or not – thoroughly and utterly Greek. And they’ve certainly got a point, as the Hellenistic period did indeed influence much of the Western world for the next couple millennia. But when they’re actually physically in Greece, those comments hit a little differently. Which is to say: everybody knows all that already! Anyway, it’s a gag that’s worth a few chuckles. Just Let Them Say Funny Things: So My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 is low-stress, mostly plotless, and more or less an advertisement for the Greek tourism industry. But it still has some funny people doing some funny things, and it shows sparks of life when they’re allowed to make some mildly ribald comments. Andrea Martin in particular is as dynamite as ever, and she develops a charming rapport with Melina Kotselou, who’s apparently playing the mayor of the village. (It sort of makes sense in context.) Anyway, we could have used more of that odd couple combo. Otherwise, this is a sequel that’s just coasting by on the goodwill of its fanbase.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 is Recommended If You Like: Greek completism
Starring: Rachel Sennott, Ayo Edebiri, Havana Rose Liu, Kaia Gerber, Nicholas Galitzine, Dagmara Domińczyk, Marshawn Lynch, Ruby Cruz
Director: Emma Seligman
Running Time: 92 Minutes
Rating: R for A Fair Bit of Sexuality and Some Absurd Violence
Release Date: August 25, 2023 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: There’s no way around it: PJ (Rachel Sennott) and Josie (Ayo Edebiri) are the outcasts of all outcasts at Huntington High School. You might call them bottoms even. (The title of their movie certainly does.) They’re both gay, but that’s not the problem. Their classmates are pretty enlightened when it comes to sexual orientation, but they’re a little less so when it comes to people who are untalented and don’t care much about football. So PJ and Josie try to reverse their fortunes by starting a fight club/self-defense class/feminine support group as a front to hook up with the hottest girls in school. Will their secret be found out? Or will everyone else be more focused on the looming big game with the rival school?
What Made an Impression?: The Point is Beside the Point: The queerness that’s central to Bottoms‘ premise is always front and center, but it’s not the most fundamental aspect. At its core, this is a story about acceptance. Josie and PJ could just as easily be scheming on a plot to land some platonic friends, and you would hardly have to change any aspect of the script to make that happen. That’s a win for both representation and storytelling. This is a movie that is perfectly comfortable being matter-of-fact and upfront about its identity and then simply moving on to the rest of the good stuff. Queer in Other Ways: Of course, there’s another definition of “queer” besides the LGBTQ+ sense. It’s a synonym for “weird” and “bizarre,” or even “outlandish.” And let’s be clear: Bottoms is strange-queer even more than it is gay-queer. If you get a bunch of funny people together, of course things are going to be off-kilter. But if you were expecting a somewhat realistic depiction of the high school experience, then you need to reset your expectations ASAP. This is a romp that is campy, gratuitous, and absurd aplenty. Every character feels like a facsimile of a human being, rather than an actual person, and the rules of life are accordingly askew. Seriously, I Don’t Know What the Hell I Just Watched: I’m hesitant to recommend Bottoms with my full soul, because while I admire its bravado, I could never quite figure out its base reality. Random and outlandish behavior is the status quo, so I found myself thinking “OMG WTF” much more often than I was cracking up. That’s a better state of mind than nothing at all, but not as pleasurable as possible. If you want to get kooky, Bottoms has plenty of kooky. And maybe it’s just best not to ask why.
Bottoms is Recommended If You Like: Heathers, Assassination Nation, MacGruber, Cocaine Bear, The fight scenes from Anchorman and Anchorman 2
You Ahsoka me all night long (CREDIT: Lucasfilm Ltd.)
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–birth/rebirth (Theaters) – Something freaky involving reanimation.
–Blue Beetle (Theaters)
–Landscape with Invisible Hand (Theaters)
–Oldboy 20th Anniversary Remastered Edition (Theaters)
–Strays (Theaters)
TV
–Ahsoka Series Premiere (August 23 on Disney+)
–Riverdale Series Finale (August 23 on The CW)
Music
-Hozier, Unreal Unearth
-Reneé Rapp, Snow Angel – I enjoyed watching Reneé on The Sex Lives of College Girls, so I’ll see if I like her singing, too.
Sports
-World Athletics Championship (August 19-27 on NBC, CNBC, USA, and Peacock) – Track and field in Hungary.
Starring: Will Ferrell, Jamie Foxx, Isla Fisher, Randall Park, Will Forte
Director: Josh Greenbaum
Running Time: 93 Minutes
Rating: R for Thoroughly Scatological and Sexual Humor, and Some Canine Revenge Violence
Release Date: August 18, 2023 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Dog is famously man’s best friend. But someone forgot to explain that to Doug, the frequently masturbating, irresponsible loner played by Will Forte in Strays. He has a Border Terrier named Reggie (voiced by Will Ferrell), but that’s only to spite his most recent ex-girlfriend, who was actually the one who chose to adopt the pup in the first place. Soon enough, Doug realizes that Reggie’s cramping his style a bit too much, so he tries to get rid of him with a miles-long version of fetch. Reggie thinks it’s all a game until streetwise stray Boston Terrier Bug (Jamie Foxx) sets him straight. The two of them then team up with therapy Great Dane Hunter (Randall Park) and sniffer supreme Australian Shepherd Maggie (Isla Fisher) for the ultimate revenge mission: they’re going to take away the thing that Doug cares the most about in the world by biting off a certain part of his anatomy that dangles between his legs.
What Made an Impression?: An Explicit Dog’s Life: I didn’t make any exact calculations while watching, but I would estimate that about 75% of the jokes and gags in Strays are scatological or sexual in nature. That makes sense, as dogs sure do poop and pee and hump a lot. That’s true of a lot of mammals, after all! But dogs tend to be especially shameless about it. So director Josh Greenbaum and screenwriter Dan Perrault wisely take a matter-of-fact approach to the crudeness. Depending on your tolerance level for potty humor, you might find yourself averting or rolling your eyes at certain moments. But Strays stays true to its canine worldview through and through, and it deserves respect for that. Guileless and Openhearted: It’s essential that Strays‘ main pooch be as fundamentally trusting as Reggie is. Even when he realizes how awful Doug has been to him, it doesn’t change his entire conception of existence. Instead, he still believes that the world is absolutely full of wonder, and if anything, his time with his new friends convinces him of that truth even more. Life off the leash could terrify a more skittish dog, but Reggie rolls along with pretty much anything. If you introduce him to the couch you’ve been humping, he’ll treat it as an honor to meet someone so important. If you tell him that he should tell the lawn gnome he’s humping that he’s its daddy, he’ll do his best to make the introduction to his long-lost son less awkward. It’s always welcome to have a fresh bundle of joy on your team. Treat Your Pet Right: In its most ambitious moments, Strays grasps for profundity in exploring the emotional dynamics of toxic relationships. And it’s mostly successful. Despite his desire for vengeance, there’s also an undercurrent implying that Reggie can’t quite quit Doug. And his explanation for why that is sounds a lot like the sort that you might hear from people who have been abused in human-human relationships. Reggie has internalized the lesson that he deserves Doug’s neglect because he’s been a bad dog all along, and it’s heartbreaking to witness that realization. While Strays has been advertised a gross-but-sweet raucous comedy, it turns out that it’s actually most assured in its handling of canine psychology.
Strays is Recommended If You Like: Talking dog movies like Homeward Bound and A Dog’s Purpose but wish they had more poop and dick jokes
Which hand is invisible? (CREDIT: Lynsey Weatherspoon/ Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures)
Starring: Asante Blackk, Kylie Rogers, Tiffany Haddish, Josh Hamilton, Brooklyn MacKinzie, Michael Gandolfini, William Jackson Harper
Director: Cordy Finley
Running Time: 105 Minutes
Rating: R for Some Harsh Language Apparently (This Should Absolutely Be PG-13)
Release Date: August 18, 2023 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: The extraterrestrials have arrived! And they’ve completely transformed society. The aliens of Landscape with Invisible Hand are crustacean-esque creatures known as the Vuvv who like to claim that they’ve instituted a sort of utopia. But really, it’s just their own version of exploitative capitalism. A few humans make out like gangbusters by ingratiating themselves into Vuvv culture, while the majority of Earth’s population struggle to deal. both financially and ethically. Among the hustlers are teenage visual artist Adam Campbell (Asante Blackk), his mom Beth (Tiffany Haddish), and sister Natalie (Brooklyn MacKinzie). At least they still have a roof over their head, which is more than can be said for his classmate Chloe (Kylie Rogers). Sparks immediately fly between the two of them, and he fancies himself a Good Samaritan, so he invites her and her dad (Josh Hamilton) and brother (Michael Gandolfini) to stay at his house until they can find something steady. But this arrangement soon turns awkward, and it only gets weirder once the Vuvv become closely involved.
What Made an Impression?: Getting On to Get On:Landscape with Invisible Hand is a bit of a postmodern alien visitation flick, insofar as the Vuvv are students of Earth culture. They’re mostly fans of classic domestic sitcoms, since they reproduce asexually and concepts like romantic and familial love are generally foreign to them. But you also get the sense that they’re familiar with conquering cinematic ETs and that they’re making a concerted effort to present themselves as a benevolent alternative. But we’ve already heard this story before in Earth history: it’s called colonization.
Even if you recognize the holes in the Vuvv’s telling, this is the new status quo, and there’s only the merest hints of revolution. So in the meantime, pretty much everyone is forced to confront how much of their integrity they’re willing to compromise to get by. And so, we meet a neurosurgeon who gives up his practice for the much more menial and wholly unnecessary – but also much more lucrative – job of Vuvv driver. Plenty of others are forced to sell their own intimacy. Adam and Chloe hit upon a quick moneymaking scheme by broadcasting their budding relationship to the Vuvv, who are fascinated by the rituals of human courtship. And one Vuvv even “marries” Beth so that he can experience what it’s like to be a human father. If this sounds like modern social media and reality TV stardom, you’re not too far off. You’ll Know ‘Em When You Hear ‘Em:LwIH harkens back to classic mid-century sci-fi with its theremin-heavy score from Michael Abels. It suggests a woozy promise of the future that rings profoundly false. Sure, there are spaceships hanging up in the sky, but most people are stuck on the ground eating faux-meat blocks. That care to the aural design extends to the idiosyncratic sound effects. The Vuvv’s language is communicated by rubbing their fin-like appendages to create an alphabet that resembles scratching sandpaper and scraping pencils. It presents a mundane, but also unforgettable, reshaping of how to perceive the universe. The Colors Endure: And finally, I would be remiss not to mention the element that lends this movie its title, as we’re treated to a series of shots of Adam’s artwork over the years. He’s been painting and drawing ever since he was a toddler, resulting in a signature, often watercolor-based expressive style. Eventually, his most ambitious project to date captures the attention of a prominent Vuvv art critic, who offers Adam a lucrative position as a human artist-in-residence. There’s a lot thematically in play in Landscape with Invisible Hand, and it handles this conflict of creativity vs. commerce as deftly as everything else.
Landscape with Invisible Hand is Recommended If You Like: Classic sci-fi, Modern social media, YA novels
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