February 6, 2025
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
André Eriksen, Ariana DeBose, Cam Gigandet, Daniel Wu, Jonathan Eusebio, Ke Huy Quan, Lio Tipton, Love Hurts, Marshawn Lynch, Mustafa Shakir, Rhys Darby, Sean Astin
Which one of these people makes love hurt more? (CREDIT: Allen Fraser/Universal Pictures)
Starring: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Daniel Wu, Marshawn Lynch, Mustafa Shakir, Lio Tipton, Rhys Darby, André Eriksen, Sean Astin, Cam Gigandet
Director: Jonathan Eusebio
Running Time: 83 Minutes
Rating: R for Blood Shooting Out From Every Nook and Cranny of the Human Body
Release Date: February 7, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Marvin Gable (Ke Huy Quan) is a pillar of his community, a successful realtor entrusted with making people’s dreams come true. But he also has a very dark past, don’t you know. And it’s starting to catch up with him just in time for Valentine’s Day! Years ago, he ducked out of the criminal operation run by his brother Knuckles (Daniel Wu), who isn’t exactly willing to let go of what was. So some goons start showing up at Marv’s office and his houses, as does his old partner Rose (Ariana DeBose), who also believes that Marv still owes her plenty after the way he left things between the two of them.
What Made an Impression?: Who Did What Where When to Whom?: Action flicks about hidden backstories tend to be as convoluted as a labyrinth, and Love Hurts is no exception. There’s usually no point in trying to decipher them, but these flicks can still be enjoyed to perfection if the charm is there. And with Ke Huy Quan in the lead role, you might think that charm would in fact be there. After he re-emerged a few years ago in Everything Everywhere All at Once, I realized that he might just be one of my favorite entertainers of all time. And he’s still likable here, just not enough to get me to care about whatever the hell happens in this movie. The same is true to varying degrees about the supporting cast, especially Lio Tipton as Marv’s secretary Ashley. I haven’t seen Tipton very much since their early-2010s breakout in the likes of Crazy, Stupid, Love. and Warm Bodies, and that’s a darn shame, because Ashley’s romantic subplot with one of the goons is a satisfying enough side quest.
Bloody Disgusting: Maybe Love Hurts never really wanted to be charming. At least that’s what I started to suspect when the decent fellow played by Sean Astin gets fatally stabbed in the eye. This is an astoundingly gory movie, not in an over-the-top way that could generate guffaws, though I wouldn’t exactly call it realistic either. Although maybe sometimes blood does gush and squirt all over the place and I’ve just never been in the situations where I would have experienced that. It’s impressively rendered, but not exactly pleasant in any conceivable way.
I Ain’t Mad, Bro: I didn’t expect to be writing this sentence in 2025 (or any year, for that matter), but: thank god for Drew Scott! Yes indeed, one of the Property Brothers has a small part in Love Hurts as Marv’s real estate rival (although his twin is nowhere to be seen). And even weirder: I actually enjoyed his presence! I’ve never particularly cared for real estate reality shows, often instead finding them surreally soulless. But maybe that explains how Scott is so delightfully out of place in this blood-splattered world. Anyway, the rest of the movie sure could have used more of that “How the hell is this working?” energy.
If You’re Anything Like Me, Love Hurts is Recommended If You Like: Argylle, because it’s another recent action comedy featuring Ariana DeBose that had me feeling exactly the same way
Grade: 2 out of 5 Closing Sales
January 31, 2024
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Argylle, Ariana DeBose, Bryan Cranston, Bryce Dallas Howard, Catherine O'Hara, Chip the Cat, Dua Lipa, Henry Cavill, John Cena, Matthew Vaughn, Richard E. Grant, Rob Delaney, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson, Sofia Boutella
Wait a minute — the cat! (CREDIT: Universal Pictures/Apple Original Films/Marv)
Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Sofia Boutella, Rob Delaney, Richard E. Grant, Chip the Cat
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Running Time: 139 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Violence That Makes the Main Character Constantly Wince
Release Date: February 2, 2024 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a super-duper successful espionage novelist, so much so that some actual spies have started to take notice of her. It turns out that the plot of her books have somehow mirrored the actual activities of an underground spy ring known as The Division. At least that’s the story that a bearded man named Aidan (Sam Rockwell) tells her when he randomly pops up like he’s in a Terminator movie to say that she better come with him if she wants to live. And well, he might be onto something, as there do seem to suddenly be a lot of people with guns and knives in Elly’s vicinity. Meanwhile, she keeps having visions of Argylle (Henry Cavill), the titular hero of her novels who seems to know her better than she knows herself.
What Made an Impression?: We’re in a Spy Movie!: I found it difficult to embrace Argylle, because it just never felt like any of these characters were particularly spy-like. Instead, they felt more like people who were excited to be in a spy movie. Now look, I’ve never met a secret agent (that I know of!), so I can’t say with authority what genuine espionage dialogue truly is. But I’m still a little skeptical that the cloak and dagger set would refer to their adversaries as generically as “the bad guys.” And that seeming lack of authenticity is doubly felt by how antithetical it is to Argylle‘s premise.
Dance For Your Life: In general, I’ve found Matthew Vaughn’s films to be at best only fitfully compelling. But I can’t deny that he knows how to choreograph some marvelously kinetic action sequences, particularly when they marry combat with dance. In 2015’s Kingsman, the standout set piece was a massacre in a church set to “Free Bird,” while Argylle ups the ante with a battle royale on a train soundtracked by Sylvester and Patrick Cowley’s disco hit “Do You Wanna Funk.” Vaughn’s characters might be fighting over nonsense, but these melees are something special.
Stupid Fun or Just Stupid?: In the interest of avoiding spoilers, I won’t reveal why Elly’s novels are so prescient, but I will say that once we do get an explanation, Argylle really kicks into a higher gear. Suffice it to say, the explanation is a classic trope based on presumably bogus science. But as far as hokum goes, it’s enjoyable-enough hokum that can push the plot along in zippy directions. It justifies at least a little of all this silly business.
Argylle is Recommended If You Like: The Kingsman series, Unknown, Hypnotic
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Gray Cats
January 29, 2024
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Adam Driver, Alan Tudyk, Alec Newman, All of Us Strangers, Amber Heard, Andrew Haigh, Andrew Scott, Angelique Cabral, Aquaman, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, Ariana DeBose, ason Momoa, Bruce Herbelin-Earle, Calah Lane, Callum Turner, Charlotte Ritchie, Chris Buck, Chris Diamantopoulos, Chris Pine, Claire Foy, Courtney Henggeler, DCEU, Della Saba, Dolph Lundgren, Ellie White, Evan Peters, Fawn Veerasunthorn, Ferrari, Freya Parker, Gabriel Leone, George Clooney, Giuseppe Festinese, Hadley Robinson, Harris Dickinson, Harvey Guillén, Holt McCallany, Hugh Grant, Isy Suttie, Jack Mulhern, Jack O'Connell, James Wan, James Wolk, Jamie Bell, Jennifer Kumiyama, Jeremy Allen White, Jim Carter, Joel Edgerton, Jon Rudnitsky, Keegan-Michael Key, Kobna Holdbrook-Smith, Lily James, Luke Slattery, Martin Short, Mathew Baynton, Matt Lucas, Maura Tierney, Michael Mann, Murray McArthur, Natasha Rothwell, Nicole Kidman, Niko Vargas, Olivia Colman, Paterson Joseph, Patrick Dempsey, Patrick Wilson, Paul King, Paul Mescal, Penélope Cruz, Peter Guinness, Phil Wang, Rakhee Thakrar, Ramy Youssef, Randall Park, Rich Fulcher, Rowan Atkinson, Sally Hawins, Sam Strike, Sarah Gadon, Sean Durkin, Shailene Woodley, Simon Farnaby, Sophie Winkleman, Stanley Simons, Temuera Morrison, The Boys in the Boat, The Iron Claw, Thomas Elms, Tim FitzHigham, Timothée Chalamet, Tom Davis, Tom Varey, Tracy Ifeachor, Victor Garber, Will Coban, Wish, Wonka, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Zac Efron
CREDIT: NEON
Heading into the Christmas break, it seemed like I had a lot more new movies to catch up on than usual. Or maybe it was actually a normal amount, and I was just cataloging my filmgoing plans a little more closely than I typically do. Either way, it took me about a month, but I’ve finally checked off everything that was on my to-watch list. So let’s run down some quick thoughts on all of them!
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January 18, 2024
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Ariana DeBose, Chris Messina, Costa Ronin, Gabriela Cowperthwaite, I.S.S., John Gallagher Jr., Maria Mashkova, Pilou Asbæk
You down with I.S.S.? (CREDIT: Bleecker Street/Screenshot)
Starring: Ariana DeBose, Chris Messina, Pilou Asbæk, John Gallagher Jr., Costa Ronin, Maria Mashkova
Director: Gabriela Cowperthwaite
Running Time: 95 Minutes
Rating: R for Shockingly Blunt Violence
Release Date: January 19, 2024 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: The International Space Station orbits around the Earth as a triumph of international cooperation. The residents on board in the thriller I.S.S. certainly seem to be living by that ethos, as American astronaut Gordon (Chris Messina) has quite the rapport with his Russian cosmonaut colleagues Alexey (Pilou Asbæk), Nicolai (Costa Ronin), and Weronika (Maria Mashkova). New residents Kira (Ariana DeBose) and Christian (John Gallagher Jr.) also feel the intergalactic love right as soon as they arrive. But on one fateful day, they all look below, and they don’t like what they see, as Earth appears to be in the throes of nuclear war. The Americans then receive a transmission commanding them to take control of the station, and it sure seems like the Russians have received the very same message.
What Made an Impression?: Renewed Tensions: For the entirety of the Cold War, Russians or other Soviets were the go-to villain in pretty much any American action film. That impulse still lingered somewhat even after the fall of the Soviet Union, though the threat didn’t feel especially urgent during the 90s and early 2000s. But ever since the Russian invasion of Ukraine, nuclear annihilation has once again felt like a very immediate possibility, and I.S.S. knows that it doesn’t have to directly invoke current events for its audience to understand the threat. The astronauts and cosmonauts make it a point to never talk about politics, but in a crisis like this one, survival instincts kick in. Ignoring their orders and working together seems like a legitimate possibility, but so does paranoia taking over and killing everyone.
Claustrophobia Overload: Here’s my other big takeaway from I.S.S.: I don’t ever want to go to space! Not that I had any desire beforehand anyway. While experiencing zero gravity might be fun for a few minutes, it can’t make up for the vast, cold, tight, disconnected status quo. And as this movie makes clear, sleeping while floating is at best deeply surreal and at worst existentially terrifying. With communication to the planet spotty on even the best day, it’s a wonder that these people can think straight even without the threat of war lurking below. Thankfully, I.S.S. lasts for a mercifully effective hour and a half; if it had been any longer, I’d still be detoxing to re-adjust to my earthbound existence.
I.S.S. is Recommended If You Like: Gravity, The Thing, Life
Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Transmissions
January 16, 2022
jmunney
Saturday Night Live, SNL Weekly Recaps, Television
Ariana DeBose, Bleachers, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live Season 47, SNL, SNL Season 47
SNL: Jack Antonoff, Ariana DeBose, Bowen Yang (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)
Good morning, I’m coming to you live from January 2022! It’s the first new Saturday Night Live episode of the year, that’s what I’m going to be talking about here. Speaking of firsts, it’s the first time that singing actress Ariana DeBose is the host and also the first time that Jack Antonoff’s band Bleachers is the musical guest, but not the first time that Jack’s been here, as he also performed with fun.) Hopefully that’s not too confusing!
In case this is your first time reading one of my reviews, you should know that this season, I’ve been ordering the sketches in a variety of ways, like alphabetical and reverse airing order. This time, I’m doing it in order of the number of speaking/singing roles per sketch. A few notes on this: narrators are counted, except for Darrell Hammond during the monologue (since that’s more a part of the opening credits). The person introducing the musical guest IS counted for the musical performances, while backup singers are NOT counted if they only sing backup. And for Weekend Update, the parts with guests are counted separately from the parts that are just Michael and Colin telling jokes.
Okay, here we go!
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January 5, 2022
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Ansel Elgort, Ariana DeBose, Brian d’Arcy James, Corey Stoll, David Alvarez, Mike Faist, Rachel Zegler, Rita Moreno, Steven Spielberg, Upper West Side, West Side Story, West Side Story 2021
West Side Story (CREDIT: Ramona Rosales/© 2019 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All Rights Reserved)
Starring: Ansel Elgort, Rachel Zegler, Ariana DeBose, David Alvarez, Mike Faist, Rita Moreno, Brian d’Arcy James, Corey Stoll
Director: Steven Spielberg
Running Time: 156 Minutes
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: December 10, 2021 (Theaters)
Did West Side Story (2021) make me want to have my own West Side Story? It wouldn’t be too hard! Considering my personal history, it would probably take place at the AMC Lincoln Square, even though that’s not the theater where I saw this particular movie. (I opted for the Brooklyn Alamo Drafthouse instead.)
I could certainly see myself suddenly falling for some fellow moviegoer as I walk to my seat, and then we dance through the lobby. But I don’t think I would kill her brother. I just don’t have it in me! Maybe we could find some replacement for that part.
Anyhow, I liked the part when Tony and Maria were talking on the subway the most. I may be skeptical of love at first sight, but I very much believe in the power of an initial spark leading to conversations about the practical steps needed to advance a relationship. If there had been more of that in this story, maybe there would have been less death!
Grade: I Felt Pretty, Insofar as I Feel Pretty While Being Fully Attentive During a Movie That I’m Enjoying
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