Hunter Schafer and Dan Stevens Go ‘Cuckoo’ in the Mountains

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We all go a little Cuckoo sometimes (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Hunter Schafer, Dan Stevens, Jessica Henwick, Jan Bluthardt, Marton Csokas, Greta Fernández, Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey, Konrad Singer, Proschat Madani, Kalin Morrow

Director: Tilman Singer

Running Time: 103 Minutes

Rating: R for Language Bloody, Reality-Altering Violence

Release Date: August 9, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: 17-year-old American Gretchen (Hunter Schafer) is summoned to the German Alps to live with her father Luis (Marton Csokas), stepmom Beth (Jessica Henwick) and little half-sister Alma (Mila Lieu), but she’s skeptical of the whole situation. And rightly so. She gets a job at the local hotel, which proves to be much less low-key than she was expecting when she’s chased home by a mysterious woman. (Or was it a woman?) Then there’s Herr König (Dan Stevens), who might just be running the town as his own personal experiment. Gretchen seems to be alone in recognizing how surreal everything is, besides a detective (Jan Bluthardt) who recruits her into an investigation into what König is really up to. And the truth probably isn’t what anybody is expecting.

What Made an Impression?: The Adults Aren’t Alright: Teenage angst and horror go hand-in-hand. But interestingly enough, none of the scares in Cuckoo are really derived from Gretchen’s internal disposition. There’s a running thread about her failing to get a hold of her Mom back in the U.S., which is plenty distressing on its own. But if Gretchen is the most tormented character in this movie, then that means that she’s also the most reasonable. Her father tells her to just knock it off and behave, but that’s not the sort of parenting she needs right now. Also, he might have been brainwashed by the machinations of Herr König, whom Stevens plays as the ultimate over-the-top mustache-twirling mad scientist. The detective is the most clear-eyed of all the adults about what’s actually happening, but even he is a little too erratic for Gretchen to get close to. We all learn eventually that grown-ups are more or less making it up as they go along, and Gretchen’s realization about that is exponentially starker than most.

Playing God vs. Finding Family: To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, there is only one thing in this world more difficult than accurately describing Cuckoo while avoiding spoilers, and that is accurately describing Cuckoo while not avoiding spoilers. Maybe that’s a bit hyperbolic, but this is definitely a bizarre, unique vision that I’m still processing. For those eager to experience the thrills on display, I’ll offer some hints by asking you to think about the bird referenced in the title and then imagining what a humanoid hybrid of such a creature would be like. As it turns out, little Alma is the key to that endeavor. Gretchen isn’t exactly an ideal big sister at the beginning of the movie, but her life-threatening journey sure helps her discover what family really means. That proves to be decent enough motivation to deliver what Cuckoo is selling.

Cuckoo is Recommended If You Like: Rosemary’s Baby, Splice, Déjà vu (The sensation, not the movie)

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Head Bandages

‘Kinds of Kindness’ is Kind of Out There

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What a racket! (CREDIT: Searchlight Pictures)

Starring: Jesse Plemons, Emma Stone, Willem Dafoe, Margaret Qualley, Hong Chau, Joe Alwyn, Mamoudou Athie, Hunter Schafer, Yorgos Stefanakos, Merah Benoit

Director: Yorgos Lanthimos

Running Time: 165 Minutes

Rating: R for Sexual Nudity, Ritual Nudity, Limb Removal, Petty Animal Cruelty, Etc.

Release Date: June 21, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A man tries to break free from the grasp of the controlling boss who micromanages his entire life. Another man who looks just like that man suspects that the woman claiming to be his wife returning from a disappearance isn’t who she claims to be. Members of a cultish group are on a quest to find someone with the power of resurrection. It’s an anthology! And it’s called Kinds of Kindness, but I sure didn’t detect a whole lot of kindness in these vignettes. Maybe writer/director Yorgos Lanthimos and his co-writer Efthimis Filippou have a different conception of what that word means. Anyway, this movie is a real head-scratcher, in the sense that it produces the same sensation as sticking your finger up your nose and poking around in your brain tissue.

What Made an Impression?: O R.M.F., Where Art Thou?: Most of the main Kinds of Kindness cast members have a role in each of the three segments. Their respective roles have vaguely similar personalities, though it’s not clear if that’s how they were directed or if it just happens to be that way because they’re played by the same actors. If you squint, you can probably pick up on some Cloud Atlas vibes in the sense of the same souls existing within different beings. But since each Kinds of Kindness segment appears to take place in the present day, it comes across more as just alternative realities or hypothetical do-overs. The one constant is a guy known only by the initials “R.M.F.,” who serves as the namesake for each chapter despite not doing much of anything. Although, in the last part, entitled “R.M.F. Eats a Sandwich,” he does indeed eat a sandwich, so at least one promise is kept.
In the Mood for Vexation: Good movies often teach you how to watch them, but Kinds of Kindness seems intent on doing just the opposite. That doesn’t make it a bad movie per se, but if you don’t want to get frustrated, then you’ll have to adjust your calibrations and accept that you will almost certainly get frustrated. After releasing the most accessible film of his career last year in the form of Poor Things, Lanthimos has returned to the more impenetrable territory of The Lobster and The Killing of a Sacred Deer. (I haven’t seen his earlier Greek-language flicks, but they have a similar reputation.) I wasn’t expecting a satisfying ending, and I did not get a satisfying ending. I wasn’t expecting a legible message, and I did not get a legible message. There were moments here and there that brought a smile to my face (particularly a world run by dogs set to the tune of Dio’s heavy metal banger “Rainbow in the Dark”), but otherwise, this was a, shall we say, vacation into a land that claims to be speak the languages of English and cinema, and yet it’s not any form of communication that I recognize.

Kinds of Kindness is Recommended If You Like: Constantly opening one of those fake cans of nuts that’s actually a prank snake even though you know it’s going to be the snake every time

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Changelings

Get Stuffed! with Songbirds, Trolls, and a Bloody Thanksgiving Feast

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Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving! (CREDIT: Pief Weyman/TriStar Pictures and Spyglass Media Group)

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

Starring: Tom Blyth, Rachel Zegler, Viola Davis, Peter Dinklage, Josh Andrés Rivera, Hunter Schafer, Jason Schwartzman, Fionnula Flanagan, Burn Gorman, Ashley Liao, Max Raphael, Zoe Renee, Nick Benson, Isobel Jesper Jones, George Somner

Director: Francis Lawrence

Running Time: 157 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Kids Killing Kids

Release Date: November 17, 2023 (Theaters)

Thanksgiving

Starring: Nell Verlaque, Patrick Dempsey, Addison Rae, Milo Manheim, Jalen Thomas Brooks, Rick Hoffman, Gabriel Davenport, Gina Gershon, Tim Dillon, Tomaso Sanelli, Jenna Warren, Amanda Barker

Director: Eli Roth

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: R for Having Some Friends Over for Dinner, and a Trampoline Striptease

Release Date: November 17, 2023 (Theaters)

Trolls Band Together

Starring: Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick, Camila Cabello, Eric André, Kid Cudi, Troye Sivan, Daveed Diggs, Amy Schumer, Andrew Rannells, Zosia Mamet, Kenan Thompson, RuPaul, Zooey Deschanel, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Icona Pop, Ron Funches, Anderson .Paak, Kunal Nayyar, David Fynn, Kevin Michael Richardson, Patti Harrison, Walt Dohrn, GloZell

Director: Walt Dohrn

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: PG for Some Mild Worries About Being Eaten Alive

Release Date: November 17, 2023 (Theaters)

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The ‘Belle’ of the January 2022 Cinematic Ball

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Belle (©2021 STUDIO CHIZU)

Starring (English Dubbed Version): Kylie McNeill, Paul Castro Jr., Ben Lepley, Jessica DiCicco, Manny Jacinto, Brandon Engman, Hunter Schafer, Chace Crawford, Ellyn Stern, Andrew Kishino, Noelle McGrath, David Chen, Jessica Gee George, Barbara Goodson, Martha Harms, Wendee Lee, Julie Nathanson, Kiff VandenHeuvel

Director: Mamoru Hosoda

Running Time: 124 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: January 14, 2022 (Theaters)

The Mamoru Hosoda-directed Belle is the Anime Teenage Bullying version of Beauty and the Beast, and it has me wondering: would I like to be a Belle? Let’s explore this particular Belle’s story to find out.

Her real name is Suzu, and she’s a shy Japanese teenager with a dead mom, but then her titular pop star alter ego becomes a sensation in the virtual reality world known as “U.” Everybody loves Belle, just as much as they hate “The Dragon,” a scar-covered loner pariah. But Suzu/Belle sees in him a kindred spirit. Meanwhile, everybody is trying to sniff out his true identity: is he that tortured artist, or that rich reclusive housewife, or that world-famous baseball player? Chances are that this Dragon Beast will be best off if Suzu can track him down before anybody else does.

So, to answer my question: I think it’d be pretty cool to have a Belle persona if it means that everybody would get to hear my singing online. It gets a little overwhelming for Suzu, but I’d make sure to log off regularly as needed. As for the Beast portion of the story, there’s a climactic scene in which Suzu takes a train by herself to see him IRL, and that certainly fulfills the journey, but I would change it just a bit by making sure to bring a crew along with me.

Grade: 100 High Notes