This Is How I Grappled with ‘One Battle After Another’

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Pictured: a moment from One of the Battles (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Chase Infiniti, Teyana Taylor, Sean Penn, Benicio del Toro, Regina Hall, Tony Goldwyn, James Downey, Alana Haim, Wood Harris, Shayna McHayle, Paul Grimstad, Dijon Duenas, John Hoogenakker, Eric Schweig

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Running Time: 162 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 26, 2025 (Theaters)

Could One Battle for Another be the funniest movie I’ve ever seen that I didn’t laugh once during? Before I ventured out to the multiplex, I’d been seeing a lot of raves calling it pretty dang hilarious in the midst of a wild and high-wire tonal mix. And I can now intellectually confirm what everyone was talking about. Leo D. rolling around on the floor, Benicio del T. doing a little dance on the side of the road – that’s some goofy physicality for ya! Trouble is, these moments are also really TENSE. The whole movie is so goshdang tense! Yeah, these characters do plenty of silly things, but always in situations where getting shot in the head is a real possibility. So keep your head on straight, and you’ll probably enjoy this movie. Maybe not in the exact same way as I did (re: chuckling), but that should still work out okay.

Grade: 5 Christmases out of 1 Moment of Zen

Killers of the Flower Moon,’ AKA The Dusty, Bloody, Roaring ’20s

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Mmm, this one’s a killa (CREDIT: Apple/Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Lily Gladstone, Robert De Niro, Jesse Plemons, Tantoo Cardinal, John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser, Cara Jade Myers, JaNae Collins, Jillian Dion, Jason Isbell, William Belleau, Louis Cancelmi, Scott Shepherd

Director: Martin Scorsese

Running Time: 206 Minutes

Rating: R for Disturbingly Widespread and Remorseless Murder

Release Date: October 20, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Here’s an important piece of information that is emphasized right from the get-go in Killers of the Flower Moon: at a certain point in the early 20th century, the Osage were the richest people per capita in the entire world. But where oil flows, bloodshed soon follows. And so it was during the Osage murders that plagued Oklahoma in the 1920s, as detailed in David Grann’s 2017 book Killers of the Flower Moon and now the Martin Scorsese-directed adaptation of the same name. All of the action revolves around William King Hale (Robert De Niro), a white man who’s managed to keep all of Osage County in his iron grip. In the course of the long wealth accumulation game that he’s ruthlessly playing, he directs his nephew Ernest Burkhart (Leonardo DiCaprio) to ingratiate himself with the native people. This takes the form of Ernest marrying and starting a family with a local woman named Mollie (Lily Gladstone). This could all be perfectly wholesome, if only Ernest weren’t involved with his uncle’s schemes to kill pretty much every member of Mollie’s family.

What Made an Impression?: Keeping Your Heart Afloat?: I had one major persistent question throughout Killers of the Flower Moon: could Ernest and Mollie actually be in love with each other? Of course, you don’t have to be in love to get married or to have kids together. But they do seem quite smitten with each other, despite being aware of the treachery afoot. Mollie knows that white men are just romancing the Osage to get their oil money. And Ernest surely knows that she knows. But she nevertheless still considers him as a pretty decent romantic prospect. Partly that’s because she and her sisters don’t really see many other options available for them. When Ernest eventually becomes fully culpable in William’s most murderous machinations, he’s already committed himself to his wife. And it never seems like an act. DiCaprio plays him like someone who never reckons with the moral implications of his behavior. This isn’t remorseless psychopathy. It’s more like family killing family, or friends killing friends, but with so much twisted rationalizing that it’s impossible to remain sane and/or sympathetic.
Shout, Shout, Let It All Out: Once the FBI takes an interest in all the Osage murders, we’re eventually led into a (somewhat) cathartic final act in which William is actually forced to answer for all his deeds in a court of law. Two towering performances in this section are bound to wake you up if you happen to be nodding off at this point. John Lithgow tries to keep things dignified for the prosecution, while Brendan Fraser casts up some fire and brimstone as Hale’s attorney W.S. Hamilton. I can’t help but chuckle at Lithgow whenever he’s in a courtroom, partly because it reminds me of the delightful short-lived NBC sitcom Trial & Error, and partly because his commanding voice is somehow simultaneously both so silly and so reasonable. Fraser meanwhile threatens to knock the entire proceedings off their axis. He’s just as over-the-top as he was in The Whale, but this time it affects me deeper to my core because everyone else is so modulated. These moments feel like being rumbled from a stupor, as all the crimes up to this point have been presented so matter-of-factly.
A Note on the Length: A different version of Killers of the Flower Moon could’ve been 2 hours or so, and it could’ve also been successful, but in a different way than it is now. At 3 hours and 26 minutes, you feel the full weight that goes along with reckoning with this dark chapter in American history. So if you’re planning on seeing it, get a good night’s sleep the day before and pop in some caffeine if you think it will help (but not too much!). And if you’re downing liquid while you’re watching and you don’t want to have to take a bathroom break, then pair it with something like popcorn or pretzel bites so that it won’t go straight through you.

Killers of the Flower Moon is Recommended If You Like: Dad books and Dad movies

Grade: 4 out of 5 Handsome Devils

‘Don’t’ Look Up’ Might Make You Scream, Except That Its Characters Are Doing Enough of That Already

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Don’t Look Up (CREDIT: Niko Tavernise/Netflix)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Rob Morgan, Meryl Streep, Jonah Hill, Cate Blanchett, Tyler Perry, Mark Rylance, Timothée Chalamet, Ron Perlman, Ariana Grande, Scott Mescudi, Himesh Patel, Melanie Lynskey, Michael Chiklis

Director: Adam McKay

Running Time: 138 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: December 10, 2021 (Theaters)/December 24, 2021 (Netflix)

Timothée Chalamet should have been in all of Don’t Look Up.

Or at least like 75% of it. I’m thinking the ideal situation would be that he’s a main character, but he’s barely in the trailer, if at all. So when he shows up, you think he’ll hang around for just a few scenes, but instead he gradually just takes over the whole affair. A miniature version of that is what actually happens in the Don’t Look Up that we did get, as he shows up about 2/3 of the way through and plays a fairly large part from that point forward.

What I’m trying to say is, instead of recreating the broad reality of people yelling at clear and present disaster, Don’t Look Up probably would’ve been better off primarily focusing on the peculiarities of random skater boys rolling through the apocalypse.

Grade: Look Up About Half the Time

Best Film Performances of the 2010s

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CREDIT: YouTube Screenshots

Back in April, I revealed my lists of the best podcasts, TV shows, TV episodes, albums, songs, and movies of the 2010s. I declared that that was it for my Best of the Decade curating for this particular ten-year cycle. But now I’m back with a few more, baby! I’ve been participating in a series of Best of the 2010s polls with some of my online friends, and I wanted to share my selections with you. We’re including film performances, TV performances, directors, and musical artists, so get ready for all that.

First up is Film Performances. Any individual performance from any movie released between January 1, 2010 and December 31, 2019 was eligible, whether it was live-action, voice-only, or whatever other forms on-screen acting take nowadays. For actors who played the same character in multiple movies, each movie was considered separately.

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Super Chill Movie Review: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

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CREDIT: Andrew Cooper/Sony Pictures Entertainment

A movie that presents an alternative history can be cathartic, and there may be no better example of that than Hitler biting it at the theater in Inglourious Basterds. Quentin Tarantino goes back to that well once more with Once Upon a Time in Hollywood by considering: in 1969, a pregnant Sharon Tate was murdered by members of the Manson Family, but what if things had gone a little differently? It must be said, though, that while going back and getting rid of Hitler as soon as possible is a fantasy harbored by many, I don’t think it’s as widely-held a wish that Tate and her baby had been spared. Since the relatability factor isn’t as built-in, Tarantino lets us see Margot Robbie as Tate just living her life and finding the joy in being a movie star, ultimately giving this what-if scenario enough oomph. And on a pure cinematic level, the climactic showdown with Charles Manson’s associates just ramps up the preposterousness factor to an irresistible degree.

Beyond that wild what-if, I found Once Upon a Time most satisfying in the comfy friendship between struggling actor Rick Dalton (Leo DiCaprio) and his steady stunt double Cliff Booth (Mr. Brad Pitt). After a busy day on a Hollywood set, a typical night for them consists of pizza and beer at Rick’s house. That sounds like an ideal evening, if you ask me. There are a lot of kooky characters and psychological pitfalls in Hollyweird, and sometimes, especially in 1969, there is also real mortal danger. So the melancholy-but-resilient mood between Rick and Cliff in the face of all that is by contrast delightfully optimistic and downright inspiring.

I give Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 40 Job Securities out of 50 Flamethrowers.