April 9, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Aziza Scott, Halle Bailey, Isabella Ferrari, Kat Coiro, Lorenzo de Moor, Marco Calvani, Nia Vardalos, Paolo Sassanelli, Regé-Jean Page, Stefania Casini, Stella Pecollo, You Me & Tuscany
Which one’s “You” and which one’s “Me”? (CREDIT: Giulia Parmigiani/Universal Pictures)
Starring: Halle Bailey, Regé-Jean Page, Marco Calvani, Lorenzo de Moor, Aziza Scott, Isabella Ferrari, Stefania Casini, Stella Pecollo, Paolo Sassanelli, Nia Vardalos
Director: Kat Coiro
Running Time: 105 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Plenty of Playful Innuendo
Release Date: April 10, 2026 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Aspiring young cook Anna (Halle Bailey) hasn’t been feeling very aspirational lately. Her mom (who always encouraged her dreams) recently passed away, and her bank account is running dry. She’s been making ends meet as a housesitter for fancy rich folk in the Big Apple, but she has a plane ticket to Italy that her mom bought her that’s just waiting to be redeemed if she ever wants to re-stoke her culinary ambitions. Then a chance encounter with a globetrotting Italian fellow named Matteo (Lorenzo de Moor) leads her to actually go through with that plan. Alas, she doesn’t exactly have anywhere to stay, so she just makes herself at home in Matteo’s empty Tuscan villa. Once his family discovers her, she pretends to be Matteo’s fiance, but that charade soon becomes even more untenable once she starts catching feelings for Matteo’s cousin Michael (Regé-Jean Page). And he’s not the only one who’s charmed, as pretty much the entire family instantly falls in love with her.
What Made an Impression?: A Warm Embrace: You, Me & Tuscany isn’t shy about showing off its assets (within the bounds of a PG-13 rating). If you’re feeling good about yourself in Italian wine country, why not let the sun dapple your exposed skin? That’s certainly the philosophy that Anna and Michael (and pretty much everyone else in Tuscany) seems to be operating under. And I’m not just talking about sensual openness. Despite all the lies, these characters cannot help but let the truest depths of their warm personalities shine through. Bailey has never been a more winning screen presence, and the whole experience is one wonderful big hug of a movie.
The Long and Winding (and Confusing and Regretful) Road: At one point, someone offers Anna advice in the form of what may very well be You, Me & Tuscany‘s thesis statement: sometimes making the wrong choice leads to the right choice. On the one hand, that’s mighty wise counsel, as we shouldn’t let ourselves be held back indefinitely by our mistakes. Instead, we should give ourselves the grace to move forward. However, in the context of the narrative, this runs the risk of excusing a whole lot of deception. If I were on my own Tuscan villa vacation and thus had a whole bunch of free time, I could expand my analysis about this conflict into a 5,000-10,000-word essay. For now, I’ll conclude that the emphasis on forgiveness makes for a sufficiently heartwarming message.
Have a Seat and Get Comfy: Y,M&T may be just as credulity-stretching as any other wish-fulfillment rom-com, and its understanding of Italian culture may be only slightly less broad than the Mario movies, but it’s just charming enough to get away with all that. I’ve already sung the praises of the leads and the extended family, and now it’s time to underscore all that by also mentioning Anna’s confidante. Or actually confidantes, plural, since she’s lucky enough to have two of them. First, there’s her pregnant best friend Claire (Aziza Scott), who stays back in the States and basically plays the same part that Lil Rel Howery did in Get Out. And then on the ground in Italy, there’s taxi driver Lorenzo (Marco Calvani), who basically becomes Anna’s personal chauffeur in his cozy little Fiat. He’s the audience surrogate character, assuming that you love love as much as the most devoted rom-com devotee. If you’re always pulling for the fairy tale to actually happen, but you also always offer a shoulder to cry on if it doesn’t work out, then you’ll appreciate what Lorenzo (and this whole movie, in fact), has to offer.
You, Me & Tuscany is Recommended If You Like: Wine, Bread, Pasta, Spontaneity, Tomatoes, Soil, Sandwiches
Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Bruschettas
April 2, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Angus Sampson, Heather Graham, James Remar, Kirill Sokolov, Myha'la, Paterson Joseph, Patricia Arquette, They Will Kill You, Tom Felton, Zazie Beetz
Lookin’ alive (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot)
Starring: Zazie Beetz, Patricia Arquette, Myha’la, Paterson Joseph, Tom Felton, Heather Graham, Angus Sampson, James Remar
Director: Kirill Sokolov
Running Time: 94 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: March 27, 2026 (Theaters)
They Will Kill You primarily takes place in a hotel, so I can’t help but ask: Would I like to live in Hotel TWKY (even if just for a little bit)? Well, its calling card isn’t exactly promising, as it’s apparently built on a foundation of human sacrifice. So that’s not great. Even worse, it lets in hardly any natural light. I suppose that making my way through such hardships could build character. But life is already hard enough on its own!
Bangin’ soundtrack, though.
Grade: 131 Impalements out of 177 Bisections
March 31, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Aaron Horvath, anya taylor-joy, Benny Safdie, Brie Larson, Charlie Day, Chris Pratt, Donald Glover, Glen Powell, Issa Rae, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Kevin Michael Richardson, Luis Guzmán, Michael Jelenic, Super Mario, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie
As Yoshi as They Wanna Be (CREDIT: Nintendo and Illumination)
Starring: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Benny Safdie, Donald Glover, Brie Larson, Issa Rae, Luis Guzmán, Kevin Michael Richardson, Glen Powell
Directors: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic
Running Time: 98 Minutes
Rating: PG for The Typical Peril
Release Date: April 1, 2026 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: The Mario Brothers are headed to outer … space! After subduing their iconic archvillain Bowser (Jack Black) in their initial Illuminated big screen adventure, Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) team up with a few new friends, like the dino-esque, tongue-heavy Yoshi (Donald Glover) and daredevil pilot Fox McCloud (Glen Powell). Then there’s the mysterious adoptive mother to a brood of squeaky-voiced star creatures, Rosalina (Brie Larson), who may just have a connection to the Mario brothers’ good buddy Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy). Getting to Rosalina is also a key part of the plan of the scrappy Bowser Jr. (Benny Safdie), who’s trying to retrieve his father and pull him back into the family business.
What Made an Impression?: Where’s My Controller?: After the massive success of The Super Mario Bros. Movie, it’s no surprise that my biggest takeaway from The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is pretty much exactly the same. Which is to say: why not just play the games? The character designs and graphics are essentially identical, and the plot (such as it is) is just a series of jumps and flips into the power-ups of the Nintendo-verse. This outing felt at least a little different to me, as it’s primarily based on a game that was released at a time when I wasn’t playing too much. But different doesn’t necessarily mean exciting.
An Egg of an Idea: To get real with it, a Super Mario movie doesn’t really need to have a full-on plot to succeed. At least that’s how I feel based on the one part of this movie that I did unequivocally enjoy: a brief sequence in which Yoshi bops around town to the tune of The Notorious B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize.” If there could have been more of those diversions that offered a clear rush of imagination, then I would have been satisfied.
Banana?: One other thing that I kinda, sorta liked (or at least explicitly noticed) was a crew of blue-and-yellow robots that some quick googling tells me are probably Gearmos. Their color scheme in this movie is inescapably reminiscent of fellow Illumination crew the Minions. I don’t know if that reference was intentional, but any reminder of a much better cinematic franchise was welcome to get through this profoundly straightforward enterprise.
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is Recommended If You: Spend all your time hitting your head against boxes and hoping that a star or flower will pop out of it
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Lumas
March 31, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Annette Bening, Ben Petrie, Christian Bale, Dead Lover, Demetri Martin, Ego Nwodim, Eric Edelstein, Grace Glowicki, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Jake Gyllenhaal, Jeannie Berlin, Jessie Buckley, Joe Spano, John Magaro, Julianne Hough, Karen Huie, Leah Doz, Lori Alan, Louis Cancelmi, Lowen Morrow, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Matthew Maher, Meryl Streep, Nichole Sakura, Penélope Cruz, Peter Sarsgaard, Steve Purcell, The Bride!, Vanessa Bayer, Zlatko Burić
Oh, how alive it is to feel to be dead! (CREDIT: Warner Bros./Screenshot; Cartuna x DWECK)
The Bride!
Starring: Jessie Buckley, Christian Bale, Annette Bening, Jake Gyllenhaal, Penélope Cruz, Peter Sarsgaard, John Magaro, Matthew Maher, Zlatko Burić, Jeannie Berlin, Julianne Hough, Louis Cancelmi, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Steve Purcell, Ego Nwodim, Nichole Sakura, Meryl Streep, Vanessa Bayer, Demetri Martin, Joe Spano, Eric Edelstein, Lori Alan, Karen Huie
Director: Maggie Gyllenhaal
Running Time: 126 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: March 6, 2026 (Theaters)
Dead Lover
Starring: Grace Glowicki, Ben Petrie, Leah Doz, Lowen Morrow
Director: Grace Glowicki
Running Time: 84 Minutes
Rating: Unrated
Release Date: March 20, 2026 (Theaters)
Whoa, hey, two wacky romances inspired by Frankenstein coming out within a few weeks of each other? One of them’s a major studio release, while the other’s a super-independent low-budget scamp. What do you think about that? Well, here’s what I think about that!
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March 30, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
A'ja Wilson, Aaron Pierre, Adam Pally, Andre Igoudala, Andrew Santino, Angel Reese, Aparna Nancherla, Ayesha Curry, Bobby Lee, Bobby Moynihan, Caleb McLaughlin, Daniel Chong, Dave Franco, David Harbour, Dwyane Wade, Eduardo Franco, Gabrielle Union, GOAT, Hoppers, Jelly Roll, Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Leis, Joe La Puma, Jon Hamm, Kathy Najimy, Kevin Love, Melissa Villasenor, Nick Kroll, Nicola Coughlan, Patton Oswalt, Piper Curda, Rayaan Khan, Sam Richardson, Sherry Cola, Steph Curry, Tom Law, Tyree Dillihay, VanVan, Wayne Knight
They’re doing their thang (CREDIT: Sony Pictures Animation; Pixar/Screenshot)
GOAT
Starring: Caleb McLaughlin, Gabrielle Union, Aaron Pierre, Nicola Coughlan, David Harbour, Nick Kroll, Steph Curry, Jennifer Leis, Patton Oswalt, Jelly Roll, Jennifer Hudson, Sherry Cola, Eduardo Franco, Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee, Ayesha Curry, Wayne Knight, Adam Pally, Dwyane Wade, Kevin Love, Angel Reese, A’ja Wilson, Andre Igoudala, Joe La Puma, Rayaan Khan, VanVan
Director: Tyree Dillihay
Running Time: 100 Minutes
Rating: PG
Release Date: February 13, 2026 (Theaters)
Hoppers
Starring: Piper Curda, Bobby Moynihan, Jon Hamm, Kathy Najimy, Dave Franco, Eduardo Franco, Aparna Nancherla, Tom Law, Sam Richardson, Melissa Villaseñor
Director: Daniel Chong
Running Time:
Rating: PG
Release Date: March 7, 2026 (Theaters)
There are a whole heck of a lot of talking animals in American animated movies, but somehow I don’t think I’ve ever paired two such movies together in my reviews. Or at least not intentionally, and not explicitly acknowledging it like I’m doing right now. (Feel free to fact-check me if that sounds fishy to you.) So let’s collect my thoughts about GOAT and Hoppers and determine how much they make me want me to be an animal.
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March 26, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Alexandra Shipp, Emma Chamberlain, Forbidden Fruits, Gabrielle Union, Lili Reinhart, Lola Tung, Meredith Alloway, Victoria Pedretti
CREDIT: Sabrina Lantos/Shudder
Starring: Lili Reinhart, Lola Tung, Victoria Pedretti, Alexandra Shipp, Emma Chamberlain, Gabrielle Union
Director: Meredith Alloway
Running Time: 104 Minutes
Rating: R for Supernatural-ish Violence and a Round of Sexual Romps
Release Date: March 27, 2026 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Clothing store employees Apple (Lili Reinhart), Cherry (Victoria Pedretti), and Fig (Alexandra Shipp) run their little corner of the mall with a unique brand of witchy energy. That mostly consists of following strict interpersonal rules of conduct, dropping performative bons mots about femininity, and hitting their sales goals. When they lure over Pumpkin (Lola Tung) from the nearby pretzel store into their circle, she at first seems like a perfectly natural addition, but soon enough she’s upsetting the status quo. As it turns out, she just might know a heck of a lot more about these fruity gals than she initially lets on. Eventually they may very well have to confront the demons from their past instead of just hanging out in their weird little bubble.
What Made an Impression?: A Foreign Object: There are certain movies that make me go, “Nobody talks like this. Nobody behaves like this. This is not how the world works.” That’s not necessarily a bad thing. In some cases, those flicks are right up my alley. But in the case of Forbidden Fruits, my reaction is instead, “Maybe there are some people who understand this language, but alas I’m not one of them.” Perhaps I will come to understand it one day, but for now it just feels like a plate of spaghetti nonsense thrown against the wall.
The Quip Hit Rate: While my Overall Vibing Level with Forbidden Fruits was fairly lukewarm, I must admit that it did amuse me here and there. It’s definitely not all bad when one character drops an all-time zinger like, “My job doesn’t define me. My hotness and personality do.” Flashes of wit are definitely present. More than flashes even! Director Meredith Alloway and her co-screenwriter Lily Houghton (the latter of whom wrote the play that FF is based on) undeniably have a knack for tickling our ears, and I don’t mind giving it up for them in this department.
A Turn for the Bloody: Forbidden Fruits has one of those resolutions that is liable to make everyone in a crowded theater stand up and declare in unison, “That’s where this was going? Why wasn’t that clear earlier on?!” On top of that, there’s an end credits scene that looks like it’s setting up a sequel, which is an oddly audacious move for a humble indie flick. It’s analogous to a 10-episode streaming TV season that doesn’t start moving the plot forward in any significant way until Episode 8. Before then, all we have to subsist on are Vibes.
Forbidden Fruits is Recommended If You: Wish that all movies were just a variation of The Craft
Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Dead Dads
March 26, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Barbara Auer, Christian Petzold, Enno Trebs, Matthias Brandt, Miroirs No. 3, Paula Beer, Philip Froissant
What do you see? (CREDIT: 1-2 Special/Screenshot)
Starring: Paula Beer, Barbara Auer, Matthias Brandt, Enno Trebs, Philip Froissant
Director: Christian Petzold
Running Time: 86 Minutes
Rating: Not Rated
Release Date: March 202, 2026 (Theaters)
Miroirs No. 3 is the first Christian Petzold movie officially entering my brain, and it feels pretty cozy, despite all the tortuous psychological angst. Part of that surely has to do with the temporal setting. (It looked like mid- or late spring to me, but other reviews seem to think it’s actually late summer. Perhaps German Augusts have a similar vibe as mid-Atlantic American Mays. Either way, there’s plenty of sunshine!) But it also has quite a bit to do with the fact that the vast majority takes place in and around a family’s house, with satisfying amounts of bicycling, dinner, gardening, and plum cake.
On the flip side, the whole thing is basically a Vertigo scenario, as Betty (Barbara Auer), the matriarch of the household, witnesses a car crash that kills a young man just outside her door. That man’s girlfriend, Laura (Paula Beer) decides she would like to stay and recover with Betty, who is all too happy to let her remain for as long as she likes… not least because she reminds Betty of someone from her past. Betty’s husband (Matthias Brandt) and grown son (Enno Trebs) are initially much more skeptical, but soon enough they’re all charmed by this captivating woman. It’s a creepy status quo, to be sure, but I would venture to hope that it could have been salvaged if everyone had just been a little more upfront from the get-go. Maybe I’m being overly pollyannaish, but we’re all dealing with our own grief and our own baggage, and what an act of grace it is to help us carry each other’s.
Grade: 12 Doubles out of 15 Exploding Dishwashers
March 25, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Antony Hall, Dan Beirne, David Cronenberg, Elijah Wood, Juan Pablo Romero, Kathryn Newton, Kevin Durand, Maia Jae, Masa Lizdek, Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Nadeem Umar-Khitab, Néstor Carbonell, Olivia Cheng, Radio Silence, Ready or Not, Ready or Not 2, Ready or Not 2: Here I Come, Samara Weaving, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shawn Hatosy, Tyler Gillett, Varun Suranga
Ready as they’ll ever be (CREDIT: Searchlight Pictures/Screenshot)
Starring: Samara Weaving, Kathryn Newton, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Shawn Hatosy, Elijah Wood, Néstor Carbonell, Kevin Durand, Olivia Cheng, Nadeem Umar-Khitab, Varun Suranga, Juan Pablo Romero, Masa Lizdek, Maia Jae, Dan Beirne, Antony Hall, David Cronenberg
Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett
Running Time: 108 Minutes
Rating: R for Lots of Blood and Just as Many F-Bombs
Release Date: March 20, 2026 (Theaters)
I don’t always give away key plot points when I write movie reviews, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.* Also, when I do I use spoiler tags and do my best to avoid getting overly specific. But that’s because I typically post my full-length reviews before a movie comes out. But since spring has sprung and all, I’m in the mood to mix things up, so let’s dive into my fully spoiler-riffic review of (the already-released) Ready or Not 2: Here I Come!
(*-I couldn’t resist.)
First off, a quick recap: the first Ready or Not was one of my most raucous cinematic pleasures of 2019, which leads me right into my first spoiler: I didn’t like the sequel quite as much. But now that we’ve made peace with not being able to quite clear that high bar, let’s focus on that explosive ending, which seems designed to prevent any further sequels. (Although in the horror world, you can never say never for sure.) Anway, after her first attempted wedding didn’t exactly work out, Grace (Samara Weaving) tries to save herself with another marriage, this time to the dastardly Titus Danforth (Shawn Hatosy). It appears to be an even more hellish match than the original matrimony, or at least this time the evil is more upfront to begin with.
But Grace’s blood-soaked wedding dress has always been her source of strength and wiliness. Along with that symbolic ensemble, let’s take the name of her sister (Kathryn Newton) very literally and have faith that everything is fated to work out for Grace and Faith. Well, maybe not everything, but enough for them to carry on for at least one more day of self-reliant freedom. Thus, my biggest takeaways from this movie’s ending are:
1.The wedding dress just upped its iconic status to Level Infinity
2. We are truly blessed to witness the Scream Queen Union of Weaving and Newton
Although, of course, it’s worth noting that that second takeaway is hardly a spoiler at all – it could’ve only been a spoiler if it had turned out that the opposite was true. And if I may drift away from the sisters for one last central point: there should surely be more movies that conclude with Elijah Wood dispassionately (but also with barely concealed relish) witnessing a bunch of people spontaneously combusting. (It shouldn’t be overdone, of course, but we could certainly afford a few more.)
Grade: 3 out of 5 Golf Carts
March 25, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Amelie Zilber, Amy Wang, Fang Du, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Mckenna Grace, Shirley Chen, Slanted, Vivian Wu
This is how it looks when the movie is Slanted (CREDIT: Bleecker Street/Screenshot)
Starring: Shirley Chen, McKenna Grace, Vivian Wu, Fang Du, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Amelie Zilber
Director: Amy Wang
Running Time: 104 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: March 13, 2026 (Theaters)
Slanted slides into theaters with a devilish little premise: what if there were a medical surgery that would allow people of color to become white (in every possible way you can fathom)? For a business model like this to work, there would have to be people willing to erase their ethnicity for the sake of making a racist world easier to live through. Ergo our teenage protagonist Joan Huang (Shirley Chen), who gets the surgery and re-introduces herself to everyone as the white-presenting “Jo Hunt” (McKenna Grace). Slanted isn’t quite as unimpeachable as the similarly premised The Substance, but it is successful enough that I was still grappling with its repercussions days later. And that second life – that feels like home.
Grade: A Full Bowl of Potatoes Covered in 75% Sour Cream
March 18, 2026
jmunney
Cinema, Movie Reviews
Chris Miller, Christopher Miller, James Ortiz, Ken Leung, Lionel Boyce, Lord and Miller, Milana Vayntrub, Phil Lord, Priya Kansara, Project Hail Mary, Ryan Gosling, Sandra Hüller
It’s a touchdown! (CREDIT: Jonathan Olley
© 2026 Amazon Content Services LLC. All Rights Reserved.)
Starring: Ryan Gosling, Sandra Hüller, James Ortiz, Lionel Boyce, Ken Leung, Milana Vayntrub, Priya Kansara
Directors: Phil Lord and Christopher Miller
Running Time: 156 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Quite Mild Suggestive Themes and References
Release Date: March 13, 2026 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Ryland Grace is just a middle school teacher! But he might also be the exact right person to save the world, and possibly even the entire universe. Here’s the potentially apocalyptic problem: a newly discovered form of microorganisms called astrophages are basically eating up our Sun and so many other stars… except for one strikingly immune astral body light-years away from Earth. Despite his current humble position, Dr. Grace has the precisely necessary background to tackle such an intractable problem. So one day he finds himself waking up in a spaceship very far from home, and it just so happens that he’s right next to a cute alien scientist that he dubs Rocky. And so, they of course team up to save the universe together.
What Made an Impression?: A Truly Alien Encounter: With more than a century’s worth of cinema about interplanetary adventures, it can feel like we’ve run out of all possible design ideas for extraterrestrial beings. And yet we’ve never before encountered anything quite like Rocky (though certain individual elements may harken back to some classics). Voiced and puppeteered by James Ortiz, he’s got the blocky geometry of TARS from Interstellar crossed with the boundless energy of a puppy and the playful genius of an Einstein.
A Bond as Vast as the Universe: I wonder how a movie critic from Rocky’s species would describe Dr. Grace in a review of their planet’s version of Project Hail Mary. I imagine this creature would be massively charmed and would even speculate that he would be giggling all the time on their planet’s analogue of Saturday Night Live. Anyway, that’s just a windup towards disclosing that Rocky and Grace’s friendship is absolutely lovely to witness. You could call them The Odd Couple of 2026, except that it’s not odd at all.
Remembering What It’s All For: If your favorite part of Toni Erdmann was Sandra Hüller busting out some Whitney Houston, then you’ll be happy to learn that she sings another noteworthy pop number in PHM. I won’t mention the exact tune here in case you want to go in cold, but I will note that it has been teased during the promotional cycle, and it’s a blast whether you’re ready for it or not.
We Can Do It!: With equal amounts of fun and worry to be had in this epic galaxy-spanning adventure, the biggest takeaway is that there’s still room for hope in an existence where everything seems to be crumbling apart. I was massively inspired by Grace and Rocky’s teamwork, and I suspect that you will be too. What a wonderful feeling to be left with when stepping out of the theater!
Project Hail Mary is Recommended If You Like: NASA, Interplanetary collaboration, Karaoke
Grade: 4 out of 5 Astrophages
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