If You’re in the Mood for a BDSM Love Story This Valentine’s Day, ‘Pillion’ Has You Covered

Leave a comment

They’re one in a Pillion (CREDIT: Chris Harris/A24)

Starring: Harry Melling, Alexander Skarsgård, Douglas Hodge, Lesley Sharp

Director: Harry Lighton

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (But It’s Got Enough Sexual Material That It Would’ve Been Flirting with an NC-17)

Release Date: February 6, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Colin (Harry Melling) is a nice young lad who doesn’t have much of a romantic life to speak of, but then he suddenly catches the eye of mysterious biker stud Ray (Alexander Skarsgård). They have an encounter in a dark alley, and it seems like that might just be the extent of their rendezvous. But after months with no contact, Colin is suddenly invited to Ray’s home, where he finds himself unwittingly initiated into a BDSM relationship. Henceforth, when he’s not cooking for Ray and sleeping on his floor, he’s hanging out with his biker gang and submitting to all of their leather daddy whims. Colin is thrilled to be desired like this, but you can also tell that he wishes he could have negotiated some of his own terms. Meanwhile, his parents Peggy (Lesley Sharp) and Pete (Douglas Hodge) are his biggest cheerleaders, but they’re not necessarily so keen on the disrespect they detect from this Ray fellow

What Made an Impression?: We All Grow Up Some Time: Harry Melling is of course best known as Dudley Dursey, bullying cousin of the titular wizard in the Harry Potter films. Will Hogwarts devotees follow him to Pillion, and if so, will they know what they’re in for? Whatever the answer to that question, I believe that this film works as a weirdly fitting microcosm of the world that we live in, in which we must put away childish things when we grow up, and then decide how we want to play as adults, or if we want to be the playthings. Your particular journey in that regard might not match Colin’s (or Melling’s) exactly, but it’s important to be prepared.
Breaking Bread: I haven’t seen that many BDSM movies, but the few that I have encountered before Pillion don’t typically feature parents as involved as Colin’s are. And it’s easy to understand why! Peg just wants Colin to bring Ray over for dinner someday, but how exactly are they supposed  to explain the nature of their relationship, even euphemistically? Well, that’s the tension at the heart of one of the movie’s most memorable scenes. Let’s just say, Lesley Sharp has an apt surname!
A Ray of Sunshine?: Being in a submissive sexual relationship isn’t exactly pleasant if you’re not 100% it’s what you want, and watching it happen isn’t a barrel of laughs either. So I was certainly rooting for Colin when he tried to make his preferences get through to Ray. That eventually leads to a surprisingly lovely, sun-flecked sequence. Alas, there’s no avoiding the foreboding sense that that is all is quite fleeting. But I approve of how it leads to Colin’s epiphany about what exactly he wants for his future.

Pillion is Recommended If You Wish: That 50 Shades of Grey had been a lot gayer and much less boring.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Collars

‘Send Help’: Yes, Please! But How Much?

Leave a comment

What would you do if this was what you saw when YOU need Help? (CREDIT: 20th Century Studios/Screenshot)

Starring: Rachel McAdams, Dylan O’Brien, Edyll Ismail, Xavier Samuel, Chris Pang, Dennis Haysbert

Director: Sam Raimi

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: January 30, 2026 (Theaters)

Is it a sign of success for the new Sam Raimi-directed Send Help if none of the viewers feel the need to themselves say “Send help!” while watching? A few days ago, I would have hypothesized that that was indeed the case, but now – having actually seen this movie – I’m not so sure it’s that simple. Because as you might suspect at this point, I actually could use some help. Specifically, I could benefit from some assistance processing the tone. As it turned out, it was quite a bit nastier than I expected. (“Nasty” as in “mean spirited,” not as in “Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty” … although the latter is kinda true also.) I suppose the trailers did hint at this, and Raimi at his most unleashed is certainly not for the faint of heart. But it was still more than I could’ve predicted. Good movie, though!

Grade: One Wild Boar out of One Wild Rat

‘Dead Man’s Wire’ Straps Us In and Doesn’t Let Go

Leave a comment

You’re probably wondering how they got there… (CREDIT: Row K/Screenshot)

Starring: Bill Skarsgård, Dacre Montgomery, Cary Elwes, Myha’la, Colman Domingo, Al Pacino, John Robinson, Kelly Lynch

Director: Gus Van Sant

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: January 16, 2026 (Theaters)

Dead Man’s Wire captures the real-life story of Tony Kiritsis (Bill Skarsgård), who in 1977 stuck a contraption onto his mortgage broker Richard Hall’s (Dacre Montgomery) neck that would set off a point-blank shotgun blast if  Hall tried to escape. It’s one of the most exhilaratingly strange and disturbing kidnappings that I’ve ever witnessed, and now I can’t help but ask: what are our own dead man’s wires? If life is just one long march to death, then what are those seemingly ever-present albatrosses that will wipe everything away if we lean forward a little too much? Personally, I like to think that I’ve got enough equilibrium to not be dealing with anything like that right now. Maybe I’m not being reflective enough, or maybe that’s just a sign of healthy baseline security. Either way, I’m thankful. But to anyone out there who feels like sharing: did this movie metaphorically resonate with you in a way that was a little too close for comfort?

Grade: 0 Safeties out of 1 Mood Board

Does ‘Mercy’ (the Movie) Take Mercy (the Virtue) on Our Souls?

Leave a comment

Is this the face of mercy? (CREDIT: Amazon MGM Studios)

Starring: Chris Pratt, Rebecca Ferguson, Annabelle Wallis, Kylie Rogers, Kali Reis, Chris Sullivan, Kenneth Choi, Rafi Gavron, Jeff Pierre

Director: Timur Bekmambetov

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: January 23, 2026 (Theaters)

Have Mercy? In the latest Screenlife venture from director Timur Bekmambetov, some dude played by Chris Pratt must prove his innocence vis-à-vis the murder of his wife to an AI judge embodied by Rebecca Ferguson within an hour and a half, or else he will be instantly executed. So now that I’ve seen this movie, I of course must ask the question: did it make me want to be replaced by artificial intelligence? To which I’ll answer: of course not!

But if that replacement hypothetically must happen, would I prefer that it be Rebecca Ferguson-style? Well, when you put it that way, she does at least bring something unique to the occasion. But I’d still be fighting against it, because it’s just not living up to its supposed potential. Anyway, the movie kind of abandons its Screenlife gimmick for the last ten minutes or so as it gives way to a frenetic climax, and it’s overall a pretty rollicking time at the movies.

Grade: 4 out of 5 Acts of Clemency

‘Night Patrol’ Offers Its Hyperkinetic Spin on Urban Warfare

1 Comment

Which one’s Night, and which one’s Patrol? (CREDIT: IFC Films/RLJE Films/Shudder)

Starring: Justin Long, Jermaine Fowler, RJ Cyler, Freddie Gibbs, CM Punk, YG,  Flying Lotus, Dermot Mulroney, Jon Oswald, Nicki Micheaux

Director: Ryan Prows

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: R for Intense and Frequently Stylized Violence and Gore

Release Date: January 16, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: In the world of Night Patrol, it’s pretty much all-out war between the LAPD and the city’s black residents. Now, it’s not exactly a unique insight to claim that the police are disproportionately targeting people of color. But director Ryan Prows’ vision amplifies the conflict to the max with a conspiratorially supernatural bent. The action mostly centers around Ethan (Justin Long), a patrol officer following in his father’s footsteps, and his partner Xavier (Jermaine Fowler), a former Crip member who’s basically been disowned by his family. They get caught in the middle of a conflagration that comes to an over-the-top head when a simple car search quickly escalates into murder. Soon enough, Ethan finds himself lured within the dark underbelly of the titular patrol, while Xavier must decide who he will align himself with as his community rises up and makes its final stand.

What Made an Impression?: What Monsters Be These?: Night Patrol is one of those movies that’s kind of tricky to review, as there’s a reveal about a third of the way through that could be considered the premise, or a surprise twist. (Or both!) Thus, I can’t really get into specifics without severely spoiling the whole shebang. So if you want to be fully unspoiled, stop reading right now and come back later. But for those of you who don’t mind a tease here and there, I’ll say that if you saw Sinners and wished that it had been in modern day SoCal instead of the 1930s American South, then Night Patrol might just be the movie for you. It’s not exactly the movie for me, though, at least not as much as Sinners was, as that period piece approach did quite a bit of the thematic legwork for the bloodsucking reveal. Maybe this sort of genre mix could have worked in Night Patrol‘s milieu as well, and what we’ve got isn’t nothing. But this particular mashup of supernatural and gritty struck me as a minor triumph at best.
Taking It to the Limit: The climax of this wild movie stretches far beyond the horror genre as it takes its battle onward and upward. It cribs quite a bit from superhero flicks, with some iconography in the vein of Superman, Iron Man, and Chronicle (that last reference point rounding it out with a more verite spin). It also gives off some Predator vibes and rambles on about a bunch of creepy folklore. It’s a throw-all-the-spaghetti-at-the-wall strategy that’ll certainly grab your attention, though chances are you’ll be wishing it were a more coherent, cohesive sum of its parts.

Night Patrol is Recommended If You: Want to Smell All the Asphalt in Your Horror Flicks

Grade: 3 out of 5 Generational Secrets

’28 Years Later: The Bone Temple’ Finds a Little Tenderness Amidst the Rage

1 Comment

Come on, send him your bones! (CREDIT: Miya Mizuno/Columbia Pictures)

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Jack O’Connell, Alfie Williams, Erin Kellyman, Chi Lewis-Parry, Emma Laird, Louis Ashbourne Serkis, Maura Bird, Ghazi Al Ruffai, Sam Locke

Director: Nia DaCosta

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: R for Big Ol’ Zombie Nudity Again, Plus Some More Graphic Zombie Violence, But Even More Disturbing Uninfected Human-on-Human Violence

Release Date: January 16, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Last we saw of young lad Spike (Alfie Williams) in post-Rage Virus Britain, his mom had died of cancer, while he opted to fend for himself as his dad headed back home. Now he finds himself in the clutches of the Jimmys, a cultish group of scavengers who sport blond wigs in the style of disgraced English DJ Jimmy Savile. Under the leadership of the charismatically cruel Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal (Jack O’Connell), they psychopathically enforce their will over anyone and everyone. It’s a dangerous conscription, though it offers pretty solid protection against the zombified humans infected by the Rage Virus. Speaking of the infected, the most fearsome in the last chapter was the hulking specimen known as Samson (Chi Lewis-Parry), who finds himself forming an unlikely companionship with Dr. Ian Kelson (Ralph Fiennes), who may just have developed some reliable treatments all these years later.

What Made an Impression?: I Think I’m Going to Ralph: 28 Years Later featured Ralph Fiennes being his usually terrific self, but it’s The Bone Temple that really lets him explore entirely new dimensions. He brings tenderness to an unlikely buddy comedy, cavorts with the forces of evil, and delivers a choreographed dance to Iron Maiden. It’s as full and varied a performance as you could possibly ask for.
Consistency is Key: It can be tricky shooting multiple sequels together and releasing them within a year of each other. Making matters even trickier is when you switch up the director, with Nia DaCosta taking over the reins from Danny Boyle this time around. But no need to worry, as the same sensibility manages to sufficiently survive. (I’m sure it helped that Alex Garland stayed on as writer.) Furthermore, DaCosta takes firm ownership over this chapter, and it might be my favorite feature from her yet.
The Man Behind the Wig: At times, the Jimmys are just unbearably ultraviolent, and it doesn’t feel like there’s much of a point to that beyond mere indulgence. Plus, O’Connell is all too willing to be as depraved as possible. Fortunately, we eventually get a peek behind the mask to discover how he became this menace in a way that rounds out the full storytelling picture without being overly pat. If things start out a little too mean for your tastes, just be patient, and everything will eventually be in its right place.
And One More Thing!: If things go well enough at the box office, there will be (at least) one more chapter in the Rage Virus saga, and The Bone Temple‘s final coda tantalizingly teases what that will be. You don’t need to stick around until after the credits to see it, but nevertheless make sure you pay attention all the way to the end.

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple  is Recommended If You: Like being in the middle of a storytelling circle and winding around the corner with the end in sight

Grade: 3.75 out of 5 Jimmys

‘Primate’ is the Most Brutal Mainstream Horror Film in Years

1 Comment

Primate vs. Primate, in a way (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Johnny Sequoyah, Jessica Alexander, Troy Kotsur, Victoria Wyant, Gia Hunter, Benjamin Cheng, Charlie Mann, Tienne Simon, Miguel Torres Umba

Director: Johannes Roberts

Running Time: 89 Minutes

Rating: R for Bone-Crushing and Flesh-Ripping Gore, and Some Young People Acting Horny (Before the Gore)

Release Date: January 9, 2026 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: This one’s pretty simple: a chimpanzee named Ben (Miguel Torres Umba) turns rabid from a mongoose bite and then goes violently ham on his human family. If you want to know the Homo sapiens, the main ones are Lucy (Johnny Sequoyah) and her younger sister Erin (Gia Hunter), who are visiting their dad Adam (Troy Kotsur) at his forebodingly cliffside Hawaiian home. There are a few friends in tow as well (played by Victoria Wyant, Jessica Alexander, and Benjamin Cheng), with the promise of a couple of cute guys they met at the airport also potentially on their way. One minute, they’re hanging out in paradise without a care in the world, and the next, they’re stuck in the pool trying to ward off a relentless animal.

What Made an Impression?: Not for the Faint of Heart, or Faint of Anything: This could be a little spoiler-y, but I feel like it’s the responsibility of those of us who have seen Primate before everyone else to let you know that Ben isn’t exactly redeemable after the rabies takes over. You know those horror movies where someone looks into a friend-turned-monster’s eyes and pleads, “You’re still in there, aren’t you?” As you might suspect, there’s a lot of that in this movie, and as you also might suspect, it doesn’t work out okay. Director Johannes Roberts keeps things as brutal as possible, in every way you can possibly imagine. It’s impressive in a way, but it’s not exactly something you can go into without any preparation.
He’s Still Here: You remember that old SNL digital short “Andy Popping Into Frame”? When Primate is at its most playful, it’s basically the hairy version of that sketch. Which is to say, whenever Lucy and company think they’re a safe distance from Ben, he’s actually just hanging a few feet away, ready to dip back and deliver a fatal “Hello again.” Roberts and his cinematographer Stephen Murphy have a hell of a time with this devilishly simple trick, and you’ll absolutely hate them for it for all eternity.
How Do You Say “Dad Jokes at Inappropriate Times” in ASL?: If the Best Picture-winning CODA had you wondering, “Could Troy Kotsur brighten up even the most unbearable cinematic nightmare?”, well, Primate is the perfect test case for that query. And the answer is: yeah, pretty much. The presence of a dorky paterfamilias doesn’t exactly make Ben’s rampage any less terrifying, but it’s nice to be reminded that that sunshine exists when we’re otherwise being told that nature just wants to beat us into a pulp.

Primate is Recommended If: The headline on your Hinge profile is that you’ve been subscribing to Fangoria since Day 1

Grade: 3 out of 5 Mongeese

Can ‘We Bury the Dead’ Un-Bury My Heart?

Leave a comment

Get buried! (CREDIT: Vertical)

Starring: Daisy Ridley, Brenton Thwaites, Mark Coles Smith, Matt Whelan

Director: Zak Hilditch

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: January 2, 2026 (Theaters)

Would I want Daisy Ridley (or a character played by her) to come and find me if I were a zombie, or (at least a potentially undead fellow)? That’s the question posited by We Bury the Dead (if you imagine yourself within the world of the film, that is). She’s certainly fiercely loyal, so that’s certainly a plus. But the corollary (or at least a corollary, lol) to that question is of course: should I want Daisy Ridley to come find Zombie-Me (or Zombie-Anybody)?

It’s important to let things go! We Bury the Dead isn’t the first movie to ever make that point, nor indeed is it the first zombie movie to make that point. But it does so in its own unique way, making it a fine addition to the repertoire.

Grade: 3 Tasmanians out of 5 EMPs

Catching Up on My Thoughts on New Theatrical Movies I Saw in December 2025, aka Will Christmas Last Forever?

Leave a comment

Dear Pandora Santa Claus… (CREDIT: Screenshot)

Dust Bunny

Starring: Mads Mikkelsen, Sophia Sloan, Sigourney Weaver, Sheila Atim, David Dastmalchian, Rebecca Henderson

Director: Bryan Fuller

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: December 12, 2025 (Theaters)

Ella McCay

Starring: Emma Mackey, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jack Lowden, Woody Harrelson, Kumail Nanjiani, Spike Fearn, Julie Kavner, Albert Brooks, Ayo Edebiri, Rebecca Hall

Director: James L. Brooks

Running Time: 115 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: December 12, 2025 (Theaters)

Avatar: Fire and Ash

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Oona Chaplin, Kate Winslet, Cliff Curtis, Joel David Moore, CCH Pounder, Edie Falco, Brendan Cowell, Jemaine Clement, Giovanni Ribisi, David Thewlis, Britain Dalton, Jack Champion, Trinity Jo-Li Bliss, Jamie Flatters, Bailey Bass, Filip Geljo, Duane Evans Jr., Matt Gerlad, Dileep Rao

Director: James Cameron

Running Time: 197 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: December 19, 2025 (Theaters)

Hey hey, ho ho ho! And now for something completely the assessment of a few movies I saw in the run-up to the End-of-Year 2025 Holiday Season. I considered doing this before Christmas reared its festive rump, but I didn’t quite get around to it. So now here we are in January, hopefully with the benefit of a little more digestion. For this selection of flicks (whose current theatrical availability ranges from “nowhere” to “everywhere”), I shall now discuss how much seeing them and then writing about them has (or has not) kept the holiday spirit alive.

More

‘Anaconda’ 2025 Reboot Edition is Just the Right Sort of Silly-Meta

1 Comment

They want more than none (CREDIT: Matt Grace)

Starring: Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Thandiwe Newton, Steve Zahn, Daniela Melchior, Selton Mello, Ione Skye

Director: Tom Gormican

Running Time: 99 Minutes

Rating: December 25, 2025 (Theaters)

Release Date: PG-13 for Chomping and Squeezing and Some Drug Tripping

What’s It About?: Back in the ’90s, a group of friends were dreaming of a silver screen future. But flash-forward to the 2020s, and they’ve all settled into B-grade (maybe B+) lives. Doug (Jack Black) is a wedding videographer whose cinematic instincts keep getting rebuffed by his clients; Griff (Paul Rudd) is a bit part actor whose big break is nowhere in sight; Kenny (Steve Zahn) is working as Doug’s screwup assistant and trying to get sober; and Claire (Thandiwe Newton) is adrift in her foundering marriage. Upon reuniting, they decide in the thrill of the moment to produce an amateur remake of one of their favorite movies of all time: the notorious 1997 creature feature Anaconda. So then they actually fly down to the Amazon, rent a real live snake, and start shooting an actual goshdang moving picture. But it doesn’t take long for things to become pear-shaped, as the crew gets tightly wrapped within a misadventure that’s starting to resemble the original way more than they bargained for.

What Made an Impression?: How Not to Get Bit By an Excess of Cleverness: I haven’t been closely following the pre-production leading up to 2025’s Anaconda, but this definitely feels like a case of desperately trying to reboot intellectual property by any means possible. Settling on a goofy self-aware version could have been too cute by half, but with Jack Black and Paul Rudd in the leads, you’ve got the exact right stars to thread the needle. And honestly, Tom Gormican and Kevin Etten’s script gets the point across pretty well on its own. As for the rest of the main players, Steve Zahn is absolutely a reliable enough supporting player, while Thandiwe Newton may be a little less practiced in this arena, but she understands the assignment as well as everybody else.
Subheading About What Made an Impression: As an example of how Anaconda makes the meta approach work, characters say the word “themes” as a punch line all by itself multiple times… and it works each time! (It certainly helps that one of the horror themes du jour they’re poking fun at is intergenerational trauma.)
Making It Happen: If Anaconda wants us to teach a lesson alongside all the slithering chaos, there are two opposing pitfalls it could have easily fallen into: telling us that it’s much safer to just give up on our dreams, or stubbornly insisting that we never give up on our dreams no matter what our reality. It’s not cynical enough for the former, and it’s actually thoughtful enough to avoid the latter. The message (as sweetly underscored by Doug’s wife Malie, played by the always-sweet Ione Skye) isn’t that we should just drop all our responsibilities to reclaim our lost passions. But rather, if we don’t give ourselves a chance (or at least an indulgence) every once in a while, our souls will just slowly wither away. And if we’re lucky, our most supportive loved ones will be there to nudge us along (and hopefully serve as our emergency contacts in case anything goes wrong!).

Anaconda (2025) is Recommended If You Like: Scream but wish that it were a creature feature

Grade: 3 out of 5 Themes

Older Entries