‘Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn’ is Thoughtful and Playful with Its Explicit Subject Matter

November 16, 2021

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Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn (CREDIT: Magnolia Pictures)

Starring: Katia Pascariu, Claudia Ieremia, Olimpia Malai, Nicodim Ungureanu

Director: Radu Jude

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (But Do Know That It Gets Pretty Explicit)

Release Date: November 19, 2021 (Theaters)

Every once in a while, a movie breaks itself up into chapters via on-screen intertitles, but rarely can I ever discern much of a difference between those chapters, thematic or otherwise. But finally a film has come along with some clear reasons for the delineation. It has emerged out of Romania, and it goes by the name of Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn (or Babardeală cu bucluc sau porno balamuc, if you prefer its native tongue). It has a fairly familiar premise: schoolteacher Emi (Katia Pascariu) makes a sex tape and then it’s accidentally discovered by the people in her life. But I can guarantee you don’t know what’s coming next. The first section consists of Emi walking around town in the wake of the tape leaking; the middle is a montage of “definitions” of various words and concepts; and then it all wraps up in a heated and often hilarious parent-teacher conference.

It’s immediately clear that Bad Luck Banging is far from the typical American version of this story, in terms of its sexual explicitness and its patience. So much of the cinematography of the first third consists of lingering shots of buildings and streetscapes. In the most literal sense, this portion is just about how Emi gets from point A to point B. And point C. And points D and E and F. I eventually started to wonder if writer-director Radu Jude had been influenced by Birdemic. This section does also serve the purpose of presenting what Romanian society looks like in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, which in a word is: RUDE! I sure hope it’s not always like that, as Emi’s day-to-day life is simply exhausting, in a way that has nothing to do with the sex tape.

The middle section is a grab bag of jokes and social commentary, and it’s really exciting to stumble across a movie that sticks some formal experimentation within a more traditional narrative structure. Another reason that it’s so exciting is because I don’t know what is going to pop up on screen on a second-by-second basis. And if I ever watch this movie again, that will still probably be true, because I haven’t remembered every single part of this section. If I had, I would’ve recounted them in detail to you fine readers of this review!

And finally, I guess I better talk about the last section, seeing as I talked about both of the previous sections. It’s only fair. During the parent-teacher conference, Emi is presented as the One Sane Woman amidst a phalanx of prudes, conspiracy theorists, and other nutcases. The crowd is understandably upset about what their kids have been exposed to, but they don’t seem very interested in finding a reasonable solution. Ultimately, this sequence is a Big Fat Plea to allow consenting adults to live their sex lives however they want to. And it’s playful throughout, particularly in a series of alternate endings that let the imagination run wild. Open-mindedness is useful for a number of reasons.

Bad Luck Banging or Loony Porn is Recommended If You Like: Jean-Luc Godard, Watching private parts in public, Curb Your Enthusiasm

Grade: 4 out of 5 Sex Tapes

‘Julia’ is on Fire

November 13, 2021

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Julia (CREDIT: Sony Pictures Classics/Screenshot)

Starring: Julia Child and Friends

Directors: Julie Cohen and Betsy West

Running Time: 95 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: November 12, 2021 (Theaters)

The beginning of the Julia Child documentary Julia features footage of Ms. Child in the kitchen to the tune of Jimi Hendrix’s psychedelic hard rock classic “Fire.” Which had me going, “Awww, yeah!” I love that sort of juxtaposition! The rest of the movie is a fairly typical biographical documentary, what with its mix of archival footage and interviews with family, friends, and fans. But that opening has me wondering about other potential mashup ideas: the Barefoot Contessa set to Metallica, perhaps? Emeril Lagasse chopping away while Phish jams on? The Swedish Chef bork bork-ing as Yoko Ono howls with abandon? Chime in if you’ve got any other ideas!

Grade: 3 Chopped Fingers in the Beef Bourguignon

‘Belfast’ Presents a Coming-of-Age Story in a Time of Troubles

November 10, 2021

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Belfast (CREDIT: Rob Youngson/Focus Features)

Starring: Jude Hill, Catríona Balfe, Jamie Dornan, Judi Dench, Ciarán Hinds, Colin Morgan, Lara McDonnell, Olive Tennant

Director: Kenneth Branagh

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Explosive Violence and Some Language

Release Date: November 12, 2021 (Theaters)

If you’re a nine-year-old boy who takes school seriously, can’t you just pine after the classmate you’re sweet on without having to worry about a war raging in your neighborhood? That’s the conundrum in which little Buddy (Jude Hill) finds himself in 1960s Belfast, Northern Ireland in the film named after the city written and directed by Belfast native Kenneth Branagh. He’s at that age when he’s really starting to notice the opposite sex, but you get the sense that he’s also the one of those kids who never thought that girls were icky. His teacher has a system wherein whoever does best on the math tests gets to sit at the front of the room. Buddy’s stuck in the middle when we meet him, while his crush Catherine (Olive Tennant, daughter of David) is firmly ensconced in the #1 position. Will Buddy work his way up to the front? It’s good motivation if you can get it.

We never doubt Buddy’s sweetness, or his studiousness, but we do worry that he might get waylaid by forces beyond his control, considering the time and place he’s living. This was the beginning of “The Troubles,” a decades-long ethnic conflict in the country. As presented in Belfast, it’s primarily a fight against Catholics instigated by Protestants. Buddy’s family are Protestants, but they’re decidedly against participating in the fight in any capacity. My reaction to the presence of The Troubles, both within the movie and in real life, is much the same as that of Buddy’s dad (Jamie Dornan), who basically tells the local ringleader, “Get out of here. We don’t want any part of this.” I really just want to see Buddy’s budding love life and the rest of what he does for fun. Perhaps the context of national strife provides some extra dramatic oomph, but I’m pretty sure I like coming-of-age stories even when they take place in times of peace.

So what else did I like about this movie? Buddy’s relationships with his family members were certainly a treat to peak in on. His mom (Catríona Balfe) steadily holds down the fort, while his grandparents (Judi Dench and Ciarán Hinds) are founts of wisdom. Also, there’s this really memorable scene at the end when his dad gives him some great advice about tolerance and open-heartedness. The moments when the family watch movies are also quite a bit fun (partly because they provide a bit of color to the otherwise black-and-white presentation). This certainly feels like the most personal directorial effort I’ve ever seen from Branagh. It is semi-autobiographical after all, and you can feel that.

Belfast is Recommended If You Like: British villages, Love fueled by academic success, Guileless discussions about religion

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Maths

‘Clifford the Big Red Dog’ is Worth a Watch If You Feel Like Being Silly

November 9, 2021

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Clifford the Big Red Dog (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Darby Camp, Jack Whitehall, Izaac Wang, John Cleese, Tony Hale, Sienna Guillory, David Alan Grier, Alex Moffat, Jessica Keenan Wynn, Russell Wong, Paul Rodriguez, Russell Peters, Mia Ronn, Kenan Thompson, Rosie Perez

Director: Walter Becker

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: PG for The Nuttiness Caused by a Giant Puppy

Release Date: November 10, 2021 (Theaters and Paramount+)

What would YOU do if a 20-foot-plus red-furred dog started running around all over everywhere? I imagine most people would react with a mixture of shock and confusion, but in this particular pup’s cinematic adventure directed by Walt Becker (Wild Hogs, Old Dogs), there’s a wider range of reactions. Clifford is cause not only for sublime awe, but also for worries about being a good caretaker, or the impetus to justify eviction, or for a standard-issue evil mega-corporation to swoop in and claim that they own everything. And of course, he becomes a bit of a local neighborhood hero. People act very wacky in Clifford the Big Red Dog, in ways that are fairly typical of a family flick, but not always in ways that necessarily go hand-in-hand with the presence of a gigantic canine, and I appreciate that.

The plot essentials that you might want to know are that sixth-grader Emily Elizabeth (Darby Camp) finds herself with an incorrigible dog after an encounter in Central Park with the mysterious and magical Mr. Bridwell (John Cleese) and his animal emporium. Her Uncle Casey (Jack Whitehall) isn’t so keen on her keeping Clifford, mostly because he wants to prove to his sister, Emily’s mom Maggie (Sienna Guillory), that he can be responsible. Meanwhile, Mr. Packard the super (David Alan Grier) doesn’t like dogs, and Tony Hale swoops in as a plainly devious CEO to capture Clifford and discover the secrets of his genetic code.

Obviously, something as kid-friendly as this movie is going to end with every character (except the most villainous or toady-ish) rallying around to save the day. So the most important question is: just how goofy do things get? And the answer is … pretty dang goofy. For a generally tame PG movie, there were several moments that had me delighting in their brazenness. A choice example happens when a veterinarian played by Kenan Thompson tries to gently inform us that Clifford’s temperature is supposed to be taken in the normal animal-temperature-taking location (“rhymes with nuthole”). And Clifford himself is as expressive as any real dog, so that plays well whenever there needs to be a definitive reaction shot.

So now the final question: do I want a big red dog of my own? My current living situation isn’t exactly the most dog-friendly, but let’s suppose I have a theoretically more welcoming setup. So with that in mind, I’d have to say: while a mutt like Clifford is great in a pinch whenever you need to run across a bridge, this movie isn’t shy about reminding us of the anatomical and practical matters that need can’t be avoided. Believing in magic can only take us so far, but we can always lighten the mood by saying silly things along the way.

Clifford the Big Red Dog is Recommended If You Like: Goofy uncles, Kid-friendly scatological humor, Standard kids movie tropes

Grade: 3 out of 5 Whimpers

‘The Beta Test’ Earns an Alpha Grade

November 3, 2021

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The Beta Test (CREDIT: IFC Films)

Starring: Jim Cummings, Virginia Newcomb, PJ McCabe, Jessie Barr, Jacqueline Doke, Wilky Lau

Director: Jim Cummings

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: Unrated (But It Would be R for Spiraling Profanity and Blindfolded Sex)

Release Date: November 5, 2021 (Theaters)

When I sat down to watch The Beta Test, I initially thought that I had walked into the wrong room. What the heck was this Swedish domestic drama doing on the screen? Wasn’t I supposed to be watching an American satire about Hollywood wheeling-and-dealing? But then, sure enough, the words “The Beta Test” showed up on screen and the opening credits started unspooling in the English language. But then I had another worry, as this whole affair quickly began to feel a little too inside baseball.

Jim Cummings stars (and also co-wrote and co-directed alongside co-star PJ McCabe) as high-strung Hollywood agent Jordan, who’s dealing with a looming wedding right when a mysterious purple envelope pops into his mailbox inviting him to an anonymous sexual adventure. Could something so squarely set within the showbiz industry play anywhere outside Southern California? I’m here to say that it can, as long as you’re in the mood for a darkly comedic horror tale about data collection and personal facades slipping away.

Now is the time when I pose the question: would I myself like to take The Beta Test? I’m certainly tempted by the lustiest moments, and those purple envelopes are rather alluring. But the consequences are also unavoidably clear, as each instance of the test involves infidelity that pretty much inevitably leads to a deadly lovers’ quarrel. I’m single, though, so I theoretically wouldn’t have to worry about that. But the parameters of The Beta Test are set up so that only people in relationships are targeted. So, if I were in a relationship, I would promise The Beta Test that I would be completely honest with my partner, no matter what decision I make.

There’s a strong suggestion within the movie that honesty is the best policy, as Jordan gets himself into heaps of trouble but ultimately finds his way back, or discovers a new way forward, by essentially vomiting up the contents of his soul during the climax. Couple that with some subtle hints that seem to suggest that his fiance Caroline (Virginia Newcomb of The Death of Dick Long fame) might also be somehow involved in The Beta Test, thus giving off this surreal sense that maybe everyone on screen is ensnared in one way or another.

So perhaps we’re all a part of this game anyway. This movie hinges on the seemingly limitless possibilities presented by data collection. In the social media era, so much information about ourselves is publicly available, and The Beta Test posits that with just a few clicks, a whole parade of suckers can be lured into a dangerous Eyes Wide Shut-style game. When this premise is explained within the movie, it’s certainly based on a foundation of reality, though you might confidently respond, “But at least it’s not really that bad.” The thing is, though … what if it is? What if The Beta Test really is playing out right under our noses? In the wake of watching this movie, I’m finding myself in a push-pull between “no, that’s not possible” and “actually, it might be very possible.” That’s the sort of pendulum where unforgettable movies like this one get stuck in your cerebrum for a good long while.

The Beta Test is Recommended If You Like: Deleting your Facebook account, Jokes about absurd cinematic reboots, Enigmatic flashbacks

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Purple Envelopes

‘Spencer’ Goes in Deep and Claustrophobic on Princess Diana

November 2, 2021

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Spencer (CREDIT: NEON)

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Timothy Spall, Jack Farthing, Sean Harris, Sally Hawkins, Jack Nielen, Freddie Spry, Stella Gonet, Richard Sammel

Director: Pablo Larraín

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for A Little Bit of Salty Language

Release Date: November 5, 2021 (Theaters)

If you go see the new Pablo Larraín-directed moving picture Spencer, there is one scene I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be able to forget. I’m talking about the moment when Princess Diana (as played by Kristen Stewart) announces that she is going to masturbate. Self-pleasure is not typically a topic broached in polite company, and the British royal family is perhaps the most stifling of polite company. That moment also sticks out because it’s the only time that Diana says anything like that during the whole movie, and you get the sense that it’s the first time she’s said anything like that in the past twenty years or so, or quite possibly her entire life. It’s hard to break loose when someone’s always watching.

Larraín is adept at crafting claustrophobic environments, and the one in Spencer is like an alternate reality that everyone except Diana has accepted as normal. The action takes place in the days leading up to Christmas, and let’s just say it’s not the most festive atmosphere. Timothy Spall shows up as a new employee whose job it is to “watch,” and I would venture to guess that he was transferred from the Overlook Hotel. He has a knack for always showing up during Diana’s most vulnerable moments, like when she’s binging on sweets in the kitchen in an episode of bulimia. This scene isn’t played as a moment of concern, or an offer for treatment, or much of anything really, except perhaps as a reminder to remain on schedule.

I found the toxic environment constructed in Spencer compelling, but its portrait of the woman at its center didn’t strike me as especially insightful. It didn’t necessarily have to be that way to be successful, but we do spend a lot of time with Diana, so it would be nice to get to know her (or at least the version of her that Larraín and Stewart have created) beyond the public figure. Although, perhaps that lack of clarity was by design. Maybe she was supposed to be opaque all along. If that’s the case, then mission accomplished. But as a viewing experience, it makes for a movie that’s difficult to connect to, though interesting to consider.

Spencer is Recommended If You Like: Ghosts stalking the royal abodes

Grade: 3 out of 5 Christmas Dishes

‘Ron’s Gone Wrong’ in the Right Place and the Right Time

October 30, 2021

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CREDIT: 20th Century Studios/Screenshot

Starring: Jack Dylan Grazer, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms, Olivia Colman, Rob Delaney, Olivia Colman, Kylie Cantrall, Ricardo Hurtado, Cullen McCarthy, Ava Morse, Marcus Scribner, Thomas Barbusca, Liam Payne, Ruby Wax

Directors: Sarah Smith and Jean-Philippe Vine

Running Time: 106 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: October 22, 2021 (Theaters)

Often when reviewing a movie, I ask, “Do I want to do what the title tells me to do?” And Ron’s Gone Wrong might just be the perfect movie to do that with. Here’s the deal: do I want to go as wrong as Ron? Heck yeah, I do! In fact, I think that’s pretty much the message of the movie. Most of the cool new robot buddies in this flick are basically designed to invade kids’ privacy, but Ron’s code is a little wonky, so he’s more concerned about being a good friend. It takes him a while to get it right, but quite frankly, truly memorable friendship requires a little chaos. Thank you for being a friend, Ron, and for showing us all the way to be wrong.

Grade: 4 Rights out of 5 Wrongs

‘Last Night in Soho’ and ‘Antlers’ Double Review: What Tricks and Treats Await Under the Surface?

October 28, 2021

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CREDIT: Kimberley French/20th Century Studios; Parisa Taghizadeh/Focus Features

Last Night in Soho

Starring: Thomasin McKenzie, Anya Taylor-Joy, Matt Smith, Terence Stamp, Michael Ajao, Diana Rigg, Rita Tushingham, Synnøve Karlsen

Director: Edgar Wright

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Bloody Knife Violence and a Few Moments of Sex and Drugs

Release Date: October 29, 2021 (Theaters)

Antlers

Starring: Keri Russell, Jesse Plemons, Jeremy T. Thomas, Graham Greene, Scott Haze, Rory Cochrane, Amy Madigan, Sawyer Jones

Director: Scott Cooper

Running Time: 99 Minutes

Rating: R for Unflinching, Bloody Gruesomeness

Release Date: October 29, 2021 (Theaters)

Last Night in Soho and Antlers are both arriving in theaters on Halloween 2021 Weekend, and I happened to see both on the same day, so I figured I might as well go ahead and review them together. Neither one is your traditional franchise fright flick, though they do share a well-considered approach to presenting their scares, so they’re worth giving a spin at the old multiplex if you happen to be in the right mood.

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‘Passing’ Patiently Presents a Black-and-White-and-Shades-of-Grey Portrait of Getting By

October 26, 2021

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Passing (CREDIT: Netflix)

Starring: Tessa Thompson, Ruth Negga, André Holland, Bill Camp, Alexander Skarsgård

Director: Rebecca Hall

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 mainly for The Utterance of a Few Racial Slurs

Release Date: October 27, 2021 (Theaters)/November 10, 2021 (Netflix)

So much of Passing consists of just conversations. Anything more would be too dangerous. Actually the conversations are already plenty dangerous.

Based on Nella Larsen’s 1929 novel of the same, it all begins with a slightly surreal encounter. Surreal in the sense that when dreaming, we randomly encounter people from our pasts that we haven’t seen for a while and yet it makes perfect sense. And so it goes when Irene Redfield (Tessa Thompson) bumps into her old friend Clare Bellew (Ruth Negga) and discovers that she’s been utilizing her light skin tone to pass herself off as a white woman. This includes being married to a proudly racist man (Alexander Skarsgård) and privately hoping that her children don’t arrive any darker than her. She’s living on the razor’s edge, but she’s so matter of fact about it all, as if to say (without actually coming out and saying it) that what she’s doing is perfectly logical.

Writer/director Rebecca Hall (in her directorial debut) takes an understandably patient approach to the material in which not much happens, because everyone is holding themselves back from what they can’t allow to happen. This results in Passing feeling significantly longer than it actually is, which is an observation that is usually meant as a criticism, but in this case I mean it as neutrally as possible. Perhaps the explanation for this temporal confusion is that Clare has the ability to warp the perception of reality within the people in her orbit. She’s the one who’s primarily doing the title action, but it’s Reenie and her husband Brian (André Holland) who get most of the film’s attention, as their relatively comfortable Harlem existence is threatened by just the slightest hint of chaos. There are some lighter moments (particularly any scene with Bill Camp as Reenie and Brian’s regular jazz club companion), but otherwise you can practically see the seams of existence being torn asunder.

It all leads up to a violent climax that might have you grateful that something is finally happening to move the plot forward, although that gratefulness will probably fade in the face of the tragedy. Perhaps you will adjust your gratefulness to think that at least this sort of thing is unlikely to happen again a century later. But while passing between different racial settings might not look exactly the same as it did in previous eras, everyday deceit and the rationalization of such deceit still exists. This is a slow-burning disaster movie; if you ever find yourself in a similar situation and you don’t want the ending to be the same as Clare’s, then you might just want to do more than talk.

Passing is Recommended If You Like: The Harlem Renaissance, Smoke-filled jazz rooms, Tragedy predetermined by the whims of fate

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Deceptions

I Think ‘Dune’ Gave Me a Message From the Deep

October 23, 2021

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Dune (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Zendaya, David Dastmalchian, Chang Chen, Sharon Duncan-Brewster, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Momoa, Javier Bardem, Babs Olusanmokun, Benjamin Clementine

Director: Denis Villeneuve

Running Time: 156 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: October 22, 2021 (Theaters and HBO Max)

I was fully asleep for about the last third of Dune. I thought I was just nodding off, but next thing I know, Timothée Chalamet was heading off into the desert with Zendaya and Rebecca Ferguson as the credits started to roll, and it sure didn’t feel like two and a half hours had passed.

If this sort of thing happened back when I used to work at a movie theater, I would just peek in the next day while working to catch what I missed. Luckily, HBO Max can now serve that purpose for WB flicks, so that’s what I did in this case. Also of note in terms of what happened the day after: I attended an event at my church during which a priest talked about how he’s fine with people nodding off during mass because that means they’re just quietly meditating. Ergo, I was just quietly meditating during the journey on Arrakis.

I don’t think Dune put me to sleep because it was boring. It wasn’t. Rather, it was just so dark and overwhelming. Those spaceships were HUGE! That all contrasts heavily with the protagonist, who’s awfully skinny and named simply Paul. I have an uncle named Paul, and he’s not traversing planets in a quest for the most valuable item in the universe. This is all to say, what we have here is a mix of accessible and gigantic.

Grade: Sure, I’ll Take Another Go-Round in the Desert

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