Imagine if Toxie met Annabelle, though (CREDIT: Troma Entertainment/Screenshot; Warner Bros./Screenshot)
The Toxic Avenger Unrated
Starring: Peter Dinklage, Jacob Tremblay, Taylour Paige, Kevin Bacon, Elijah Wood, Sarah Niles, Julia Davis
Director: Macon Blair
Running Time: 103 Minutes
Rating: Unrated
Release Date: August 29, 2025 (Theaters)
The Conjuring: Last Rites
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Mia Tomlinson, Ben Hardy, Steve Coulter, Rebecca Calder, Elliot Cowan, Kíla Lord Cassidy, Beau Gadsdon, Molly Cartwright, Tilly Walker, Peter Wright, Kate Fahy
Director: Michael Chaves
Running Time: 135 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: September 5, 2025 (Theaters)
I’ve been thinking a lot about legacies lately. Or at least I’ve been thinking a moderate amount about the legacies of the Conjuring and Toxic Avenger franchises, seeing as I recently saw their most recent entries.
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–The Conjuring: Last Rites (Theaters)
–The Threesome (Theaters)
–Twinless (Theaters)
TV
-MTV Video Music Awards (September 7 on CBS, MTV, and Paramount+) – Airing on the Eye Network for the first time ever.
–Jeopardy! Season 42 Premiere (September 9; check local listings)
–Only Murders in the Building Season 5 Premiere (September 9 on Hulu)
Music
-David Byrne with Ghost Train Orchestra, Who Is the Sky?
-Cut Copy, Moments
-Hayley Williams, Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party – This was kind of surprise-released.
Long Walk, Don’t Short Run, to Theaters (Credit: Murray Close/Lionsgate)
Starring: Cooper Hoffman, David Jonsson, Mark Hamill, Ben Wang, Garrett Wareing, Joshua Odjick, Tut Nuyot, Charlie Plummer, Roman Griffin Davis, Jordan Gonzalez, Judy Greer, Josh Hamilton
Director: Francis Lawrence
Running Time: 108 Minutes
Rating: R for Stunning Violence, Pesky Bodily Functions, and Young Men Dropping a Whole Lot of F-Bombs
Release Date: September 12, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: In the days of a totalitarian regime in a dystopian United States, the ruling party has concocted an annual contest to keep hope alive among the citizens while also brutally reminding them who’s in charge. The rules are simple: walk, or die. To get a little more detailed, the young men in the Long Walk must maintain a speed of at least three miles per hour the entire time. If they slow down too much for too long, or stray from the prescribed path, they will be instantly executed. The last one moving – and still alive – is declared the victor and given a life-changing cash prize. Friendships and resentments alike are forged in this crucible, and maybe even a little revolution is also brewing.
What Made an Impression?: Influencing and Influenced: It’s hard not to look at a dystopian story about young people and not go, “Hey, how did we end up back in Panem?!” Of course, though, The Hunger Games doesn’t have a monopoly on this subgenre. Furthermore, The Long Walk is based on an early Stephen King novel, published under his pseudonym Richard Bachman in 1979, whereas Suzanne Collins’ first novel about Katniss & Co. arrived on shelves in 2008. Plus, once you get past the superficial similarities, you realize that The Long Walk is delivering something more intimate, i.e., a simultaneous test of both endurance and claustrophobia. Which is to say, it’s very much its own thing. You Can’t Outwalk Yourself: Humans generally aren’t used to walking hundreds of miles nonstop, so at a certain point, the body is prone to rebel or otherwise declare, “Hey, I’ve got some other stuff to take care of.” So it’s no surprise that the Long Walkers start experiencing plenty of cuts and scrapes and cramps and twists. Not to mention all the waste forcing its way out in the form of classic feces or the voices emerging from their heads. I appreciate that this wasn’t presented in Smell-O-Vision. No Escape: I’m a long-distance runner with a few marathons under my belt, but I’ve never experienced anything quite as exhausting as The Long Walk. Perhaps that’s why it’s managed to worm its way into my subconscious so comfortably despite being a mostly unpleasant viewing experience. The unrelenting bleakness also certainly helps with that unforgettability. Ultimately, the biggest compliment I can pay this movie is: I don’t want to constantly remember it, but it won’t let me forget.
The Long Walk is Recommended If You Like: Stephen King at his bleakest, Dystopias at their bleakest, Nihilist poop jokes
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–Caught Stealing (Theaters)
–Jaws 50th Anniversary Re-Release (Theaters)
–The Toxic Avenger Unrated (Theaters) – A reboot of the original, not an unrated version of the original.
TV
–Beavis and Butt-Head Season 11 Premiere (September 3 on Comedy Central) – Note that this season is originally airing on the basic cable channel Comedy Central, as opposed to the streamer Paramount+, which was the case for the previous two seasons.
–The Paper Season 1 (September 4 on Peacock) – A sort of spinoff of The Office.
–Pokémon Concierge Episodes 4-8 (September 4 on Netflix)
Music
-The Beaches, No Hard Feelings
-Blood Orange, Essex Honey
-Belinda Carlisle, Once Upon a Time in California
-Sabrina Carpenter, Man’s Best Friend
-The Hives, The Hives Forever Forever The Hives
-Margo Price, Hard Headed Woman
A Collage of Two Movies Coming Out in Theaters in Late Summer 2025 (CREDIT: Niko Tavernise/Columbia Pictures; Searchlight Pictures/Screenshot)
Caught Stealing
Starring: Austin Butler, Regina King, Zoë Kravitz, Matt Smith, Liev Schreiber, Vincent D’Onofrio, Griffin Dunne, Benito A Martínez Ocasio, Yuri Kolokolnikov, Nikita Kukushkin, Carol Kane, D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai
Director: Darren Aronofsky
Running Time: 107 Minutes
Rating: R for Reckless Violence, Some Drunken Debauchery, and a Little Bit of Sex
Release Date: August 29, 2025 (Theaters)
The Roses
Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Colman, Andy Samberg, Kate McKinnon, Sunita Mani, Ncuti Gatwa, Jamie Demetriou, Zoë Chao, Hala Finley, Wells Rapaport, Delaney Quinn, Ollie Robinson, Belinda Bromilow, Allison Janney
Director: Jay Roach
Running Time: 105 Minutes
Rating: R for Rather Colorful Language
Release Date: August 29, 2025 (Theaters)
Labor Day is typically known as the unofficial end of summer in the Northern Hemisphere, even though technically autumn doesn’t really arrive until the final third of September. Either way, it’s a time for altering routines and reflecting upon what you’ve been up to the past few months. In that spirit of looking back, we’ve got a couple of new releases for Labor Day Weekend 2025 that are both throwbacks in their own particular ways.
Starring: Jude Law, Vanessa Kirby, Daniel Brühl, Sydney Sweeney, Ana De Armas, Jonathan Tittel, Richard Roxburgh, Toby Wallace, Felix Kammerer, Ignacio Gasparini
Director: Ron Howard
Running Time: 129 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: August 22, 2025 (Theaters)
Okay, y’all. You know I love to review movies by asking, “Would I like to live in the world of this film?” And the based-on-a-true-story Eden is just SCREAMING for me to review it that way, as three very different parties settle on the remote Galápagos island of Floreana for three very different reasons. Set in 1928, Jude Law and Vanessa Kirby play a Nietzsche-loving couple who want to save post-World War I humanity, while Daniel Brühl and Sydney Sweeney play another couple who somehow believe this is the best place to raise their family, and Ana de Armas enters the mix as a so-called “baroness” set on building a luxury hotel.
So is this heaven on Earth?
No.
Not at all.
But… this is one of those situations where it’s better to be second than first. Or not necessarily second, but definitely much later than first. Which is to say, I bet 2028 Floreana will be better than 1928 Floreana (spoiler alert, sort of ).
Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–Eden (Theaters)
–Honey Don’t! (Theaters) – The movie overall isn’t super-duper, but Margaret Qualley is doing her thing again.
–Lurker (Theaters)
–The Map That Leads to You (August 20 on Amazon Prime) – Starring Madelyn Cline and KJ Apa.
–Ne Zha 2 (Theaters) – This was huge in China.
–Relay (Theaters) – Starring Riz Ahmed and Lily James.
–Splitsville (Theaters)
TV
–Long Story Short Season 1 (August 22 on Netflix) – Created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg.
–Game, Set, Matchmaker (Premieres August 24 on YouTube) – Dating show set at the US Open.
Music
-Jon Batiste, BIG MONEY
-Ciara, CiCi
-Ghostface Killah, Supreme Clientele 2
-Laufey, A Matter of Time
-Superchunk, Songs in the Key of Yikes
Sports
-US Open (August 24-September 7 on ESPN, ESPN2, and ABC) – Will an American make it to the final again? It could definitely happen.
This movie used to be called “National Anthem” (CREDIT: Ursula Coyote/Lionsgate)
Starring: Sydney Sweeney, Paul Walter Hauser, Halsey, Eric Dane, Zahn McClarnon, Gavin Maddox Bergman, Simon Rex, Derek Hinkey, Toby Huss
Director: Tony Tost
Running Time: 107 Minutes
Rating: R
Release Date: August 15, 2025 (Theaters)
The August 2025 theatrical release Americana has what must be called – I’m just going to come out and say it – a P-shaped narrative. It’s told in five sections. The first part unfolds, then we curve around a few days to jump into Part 2. Then by Part 3 we catch back up to Part 1, and that’s followed by a mad dash to the conclusion. Part 1 initially feels like it could be a prelude to everything else, but then someone who dies in that section shows back up in subsequent parts, thereby forcing us viewers to adjust our temporal orientation. Anyway, I haven’t really talked about the plot, but that’s only because I wanted to talk about the structure more.
Grade: Not Bad, But I Prefer the Halsey Song “New Americana”
Starring: Margaret Qualley, Aubrey Plaza, Chris Evans, Charlie Day, Kristen Connolly, Talia Ryder, Gabby Beans, Jacnier, Josh Pafcheck, Billy Eichner, Lera Abova
Director: Ethan Coen
Running Time: 89 Minutes
Rating: R for A Few Hardcore Dalliances and Some Ridiculous Fatal Encounters
Release Date: August 22, 2025 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Another wacky cast of characters has made its way to the big screen in an off-the-wall crime caper from Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke! It all goes down in dusty Bakersfield, California and revolves around the mostly no-nonsense private investigator Honey O’Donahue (Margaret Qualley). A trail of death starts to form with the discovery of a woman who’s driven off a cliff. Soon thereafter, Honey is dealing with a desperate guy who fears he’s being cheated on (Billy Eichner), as well as her wayward niece (Talia Ryder) and MG Falcone (Aubrey Plaza), the police officer she’s taken a shine to. Their stories all get mixed up with that of Reverend Drew Devlin (Chris Evans), whose flashy church is really just a front for (very messy) organized crime. Also, there’s a mysterious French woman walking around. If anyone can figure out what all these people are up to before it all blows up, it’s probably Honey.
What Made an Impression?: We Gotta Get Out to Get In: Man, I love a good opening credits sequence. And Honey Don’t! has a doozy of an introduction. From the POV of a car driving through Bakersfield, the names of the cast and crew appear on storefronts, graffiti, and other signage, while “We Gotta Get Out of This Place” by The Animals rocks the place. Or at least I thought it was The Animals, until the end credits informed me it was actually a cover version. (But I’m not going to reveal who it actually was. Sure, it’s not like who sings a song is much of a spoiler, but you might enjoy being surprised the way that I was.) Day for Q: There’s one really important character I didn’t mention in the synopsis, so I better go ahead and mention him now: Detective Marty Metakawich, played by the adorably agitated Charlie Day. He and Honey have quite the crackling repartee, but don’t expect them to end up together by the end! Marty is pretty easily Honey’s favorite man that she’s ever met, but here’s the thing: she’s just not into dudes. For whatever reason, though, Marty just can’t get rid of the mental block that won’t allow him to process her lesbianism. It’s bizarrely kind of sweet, or at least as sweet as something annoying like that can be. Tough, But Rough: Thank God Margaret Qualley is so goshdarn likable. Most of this cast is pretty compelling, but she’s the one who’s really been solidifying her superstar status lately. Anyway, it really helps to have such an attention-grabbing lead performance when the screenplay feels so random. If you’re feeling particularly ungenerous Ethan Coen (and his brother/former collaborator Joel) could be dismissed as purveyors of unjustifiable kookiness. But at their best, they have a knack for making a circus feel like Shakespeare (or whatever literary inspiration they’re drawing from). Honey Don’t doesn’t quite harmonize in the same way, though. Or maybe we as a moviegoing society just haven’t gotten used to Ethan’s sensibilities while teaming up his wife Tricia Cooke as co-screenwriters. Although I did find their last effort, Drive-Away Dolls, pretty fun. So maybe in a few years I’ll start saying “Honey, I’ll give you another shot.” In the meantime, we’re at “Honey If You Must.”
Honey Don’t! is Recommended If You Like: Movies Where Two Ladies Get Really Handsy with Each Other in a Bar (If You Know What I Mean), Regardless of What Else Happens
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