‘Heretic’ Review: Hugh Grant Wants to Play a Game

1 Comment

Pie! Pie! Pie! (CREDIT: Kimberly French/A24)

Starring: Hugh Grant, Sophie Thatcher, Chloe East, Topher Grace, Elle Young

Directors: Scott Beck and Bryan Woods

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Climatically Bloody Moments

Release Date: November 8, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Not since Elders Price and Cunningham have there been Mormon missionaries more excited to spread the message of the Church of  Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints than Sisters Barnes (Sophie Thatcher) and Paxton (Chloe East). While knocking on doors one fateful evening, they end up at the residence of Mr. Reed (Hugh Grant), who invites them in with promises of blueberry pie and enthusiastic conversation. But soon enough, the young ladies notice warning signs that he might have more sadistic intentions in mind. When they attempt to leave, he assures them that they’re perfectly allowed to do so, but it must be through the back door. Alas, actually getting there involves completing a maze/thought experiment of his devising.

What Made an Impression?: A Flurry of Metaphors: If you’ve always wanted a horror movie that could teach you the history of one of the most popular board games of all time, well then, Heretic has you covered. You see, Mr. Reed is a student of all the world’s religions, and he’s noticed that the history of the major monotheistic faiths is strikingly similar to that of a certain real estate competition. If classic Christianity is Monopoly, then Judaism is its lesser-known forerunner The Landlord’s Game, while Islam is the game for a new era, and Mormonism and all the other more recent offshoots are the wacky spinoffs. It makes a lot of intoxicating sense when Mr. Reed explains. He has a way of summing up this entirely Earthly existence with tidily convincing metaphors. While he has an advisable mix of healthy skepticism and genuine interest when it comes to matters of faith, his intellectual self-assurance is bedeviling.
Not So Naive: Mr. Reed has designed his test so meticulously that Sister Barnes and Sister Paxton are really no match for him. Or so it might seem. As it turns out, they’re nowhere near as clueless as you might expect twentysomethings who grew up in a deeply religious community to be. Thatcher plays Sister Barnes as battle-hardened and a stiff judge of character. Meanwhile, East is an outgoing bundle of friendliness as Sister Paxton, but she knows how the world works. The movie even starts with her talking about a deep philosophical revelation that came to her from watching porn. If anyone could muck up Mr. Reed’s plans and challenge him in ways that are just the least bit unexpected, it’s these two.
How Do You Play the Game?: I can’t endorse Mr. Reed’s methods, but his lesson plans and instinct for metaphor are quite useful. As he points out at one point, either we’re living in a universe run by a god who allows cruel, awful things to happen, and that’s terrifying; or, we live in a godless, totally random universe, and that’s also terrifying. He’s far from the first person to say something like that, but not many others have redesigned their whole house to make this point viscerally clear. Entering Mr. Reed’s domain is a microcosmic confrontation of the existential dilemma that perhaps all human beings grapple with at some point in their lives. Maybe Heretic will help you come up with a satisfying answer for why it’s worth it to keep on keeping on, or maybe it will leave you more racked with doubt than ever. But either way, you’re unlikely to ever forget it.

Heretic is Recommended If You Like: Theology lectures, Saw, Fresh baked goods

Grade: 4 out of 5 Doors

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: John Mulaney/Chappell Roan

1 Comment

The musical guest’s first name makes me hungry (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

John Mulaney has the unique distinction of being more famous as an SNL host than as an SNL employee. That probably has to do with the fact that he was a writer during his tenure on the show, rather than a cast member. Although he certainly appeared on camera a few times during his stint on the staff. I mention all this because he just hosted for the SIXTH time.

And then there’s Chappell Roan, who holds the not-entirely-unique distinction of seemingly being the new obsession of everybody I know.* (*-Hyperbole.) I mention that because she was just the musical guest on SNL for the very FIRST time.

Because Mulaney earlier this year hosted a talk show on Netflix called Everybody’s in LA, I’m going to start my review of each sketch with the word “Everybody’s.”

More

jmunney’s Top Cinematic Choices for November 2024

Leave a comment

Getting ready to go see a movie (CREDIT: A24)

They keep making new movies, and some of them are even worth watching. Here’s what’s at the top of the slate for November 2024:

Here: Bob Zemeckis re-teams with his Forrest Gump stars Tommy Hanks and Robin Wright as he sticks his camera in a single location for centuries.

Here will be here, there, and everywhere (i.e., movie theaters) on November 1.

More

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 11/1/24

Leave a comment

Talkin’ bout Chuck (CREDIT: Michael Perez Entertainment LLC/Shudder Release)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Blitz (November 1 in Theaters and November 22 on Apple TV+)
Doc of Chucky (November 1 on Shudder) – Diving into the Child’s Play franchise.
Emilia Perez (November 1 in Theaters and November 13 on Netflix)
Here (Theaters) – This one’s got a gimmick.
Juror #2 (Theaters)
Music by John Williams (Limited Theaters and Disney+)
A Real Pain (Theaters)

TV
-2024 SNL Election Special (November 4 on NBC)

Music
American Dad!: Greatest Hits – “Iconic songs performed by the cast throughout the show’ s extensive run, capturing many of the quirky, musical moments that have made it a fan favorite.
-Bishop Briggs, Tell My Therapist I’m Fine – This came out a few weeks ago, but somehow I missed it.
-The Cure, Songs of a Lost World

Video Games
The Legend of Santa (Nintendo Switch, PS5, Windows, macOS, Linux, and Android) – A simple platformer that might be fun for the holiday season.

Is ‘Your Monster’ Also My Monster?

Leave a comment

You and Your Monster (CREDIT: Vertical Entertainment/Screenshot)

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Tommy Dewey, Edmund Donovan, Kayla Foster, Meghann Fahy, Ikechukwu Ufomadu

Director: Caroline Lindy

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: October 25, 2024 (Theaters)

Would I like to have a monster in my closet, just like Laura Franco (Melissa Barerra) discovers that she does in the new feature film Your Monster? Well, I’m kinda leaning towards the interpretation that the Monster (Tommy Dewey) is a metaphor and that he was really inside Laura all along, so maybe I already do! Honestly, I think that’s the most palatable interpretation, because the Monster is initially pretty rude to Laura in ways that really cross the line, although they eventually certainly soften and warm up to each other. Anyway, they still have some work to do by the end. Speaking of the end, the conclusion is bloody and over-the-top in a way that reminded me of The Substance, although I suppose those aren’t the only two movies that have ever gone for broke.

Grade: 3 Critics Picks out of 5 Jesse Greens

That’s Auntertaiment: What’s Jeff Watching? #17

Leave a comment

The podcasters are enjoying this new show. (CREDIT: Raymond Liu/Disney)

Mostly an assessment of the Fall 2024 TV slate.

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 10/25/24

Leave a comment

It turns out that this album isn’t coming out this week

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Conclave (Theaters)
Your Monster (Theaters)

TV
American Dad! Season 21 Premiere (October 28 on TBS)

Music
-JC Chasez, Playing with Fire
-Bootsy Collins, Album of the Year #1 Funkateer (Rescheduled for April 2025)
-Ben Folds, Sleigher – Christmas Album
-Halsey, The Great Impersonator
-Pixies, The Night the Zombies Came – Lol.
-Soccer Mommy, Evergreen

Sports
-World Series (Begins October 25 on FOX) – Yankees v. Dodgers

‘Venom: The Last Dance’ Might Have Been Better Off If It Were Just an Hour and a Half of Eddie and Mrs. Chen Dancing

Leave a comment

Eddie and Venom horsin’ around. (CREDIT: Sony Pictures)

Starring: Tom Hardy, Juno Temple, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Rhys Ifans, Peggy Lu, Alanna Ubach, Stephen Graham, Andy Serkis, Clark Backo, Cristo Fernandez

Director: Kelly Marcel

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Aliens Eating Humans and a Couple of F-Bombs

Release Date: October 25, 2024 (Theater)

What’s It About?: Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy) and his alien symbiote soulmate have been laying low after their last Venom-ous adventure. But then it turns out that Eddie’s one of the most wanted men in America (or at least the Bay Area), and also some guy named Knull (Andy Serkis) who’s the master of all symbiotes is on an intergalactic trek to regain control of Venom and his ilk. So they head out for safer pastures, eventually making their way to Nevada, where they converge with a group of science and military types looking to exploit symbiote technology for their own purposes, as well as Knull’s beastly minions and an extraterrestrial-obsessed family excited about the recent declassification of Area 51.

What Made an Impression?: Science vs. Soldiers vs. Power vs. True Love: At the core of the Venom film trilogy is the unlikely, occasionally destructive, but ultimately mutually beneficial relationship between a broken man and a needy extraterrestrial creature. The Last Dance theoretically could just be about Eddie Brock walking across the desert while talking to the chaotic being living inside him, but their interpersonal tension has mostly been resolved over the course of the two films. So instead there are a few external conflicts that criss-cross with each other, though they all struggle to get their narrative fill. Juno Temple plays Dr. Teddy Payne, the Avatar of Science who wants to keep dangerous aliens alive for the sake of science; while Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Rex Strickland, the Symbol of Law & Order who wants to arrest Eddie and keeps yelling at Dr. Payne about all the men he keeps losing in the line of duty. Meanwhile, Rhys Ifans is the UFO-loving, Hippie Wild Card who throws a kumbaya wrench into the whole proceedings. Ultimately, all of these opposing factions eventually realize that they need to team up to defeat the power-mad Knull, which results in a kinetically conclusive set piece, though the characterization that gets us to that point is a little thin and petty.
Aliens Are Always Bugging Out: How long has it been since insects have become the go-to design inspiration for big screen extraterrestrials? The xenomorphs of Alien are perhaps the proto-example, While the bugs of Starship Troopers were obviously a big deal in 1997. But it’s probably only been in the past decade or so that it’s become frustratingly de rigueur. The Last Dance continues this trend in the form of the creatures that are hunting down Venom and the other symbiotes, although there are some hints of creativity trying to break out. They’re basically giant, apparently indestructible, pointy-legged arachnids that can shoot out supersonic bursts (a weakness of the symbiotes). It sounds like it could be kind of cool in theory, but in practice, it’s just a chaotic swarm of fiery bursts and barely coherent screaming. And that’s The Last Dance in microcosm: there’s genuine personality scattered about, but it’s stuck in an inelegant mess. The desire to have fun is there, but it can’t quite hit it into overdrive.

Venom: The Last Dance is Recommended If You: Keep Your Own Personal Index of Every Single Marvel Comics Symbiote

Grade: 2 out of 5 Codices

‘Conclave’ Conjures Up a Thrilling Search for a New Pope

2 Comments

Looking for a Pope (CREDIT: Focus Features. © 2024 All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow, Sergio Castellitto, Isabella Rossellini, Lucian Msamati, Carlos Diehz, Brian F. O’Bryne, Merab Ninidze, Thomas Loibl, Jacek Koman, Loris Loddi

Director: Edward Berger

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: PG for Some Smoking

Release Date: October 25, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: When it’s time for the Catholic Church to pick a new pope, the process is performed in secret by the highest-ranking members of the church hierarchy. Conclave doesn’t have any real footage to lift that veil, but it is bold enough to wonder: what if that deliberation went a little something… like this? Leading the titular conclave is Cardinal Thomas Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes), who quickly finds himself wrangling diametrically opposed ideological factions and navigating a series of scandalous secrets that the deceased pontiff was apparently trying to uncover. Meanwhile, as the votes to elect the new pope fail to meet the majority thresholds, various contenders emerge and fall, potentially leading the church onto a path it has never trod before.

What Made an Impression?: Where Does the Church Go From Here?: As a born-and-bred, still-practicing Catholic, I appreciated immediately that Conclave understands how the Church membership is far from a monolith. That’s represented in microcosm by the cardinals, with the liberal wing represented by Lawrence, Stanley Tucci’s Cardinale Bellini, and John Lithgow’s Cardinal Tremblay; and the conservative flank led by Sergio Castellito’s Cardinal Tedesco. It definitely seems that Peter Straughan’s script (based on the novel of the same name by Robert Harris) is more sympathetic to the progressive side, but it’s clear that whomever is elected will be leading a worldwide congregation filled with various, difficult-to-reconcile ideas about how the church should exist in the 21st century. Efforts to bridge the gap within the conclave are not exactly satisfying; for one thing, the progressives consider compromising by supporting the most popular African cardinal (Lucian Msamati), but he’s even more socially conservative than Tedesco. Furthermore, it’s made consistently clear that none of these men are infallible, despite the immaculate position they’re in the running for. A passion for justice and unity does not shield one from the temptations of power, after all.
A Sin to Fear Above All Others: If you’re a fan of deeply experienced thespians talking about big ideas that could possibly change the course of history, then Conclave has you covered as much as its cast list would suggest. Even if the final vote had been dramatically inert, this movie still would have had its pleasures. But the conclusion is not dramatically inert. Far from it, in fact, thanks to some admirable philosophical convictions (as well as a revelatory performance from Carlos Diehz, an actor I’ve never heard of before with a very thin IMDb). If there’s one thing that this movie comes out unmistakably against, it is Certainty. Indeed, in a tradition that places supremely high value on mystery and faith, certainty is not only foolish, but dangerous. And I would argue that you don’t have to be religious to understand that healthy skepticism is preferable to being absolutely sure about absolutely everything. In that vein, if you can keep an open mind, there’s plenty to appreciate, and maybe even love, about the mysterious wonders of Conclave.

Conclave is Recommended If You Like: The Second Vatican Council

Grade: 4 out of 5 Cardinals

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: Michael Keaton/Billie Eilish

Leave a comment

A screenshot for the promo of this episode (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.

Hellooooo, my SNL family! Well, it’s time to talk about the October 19, 2024 episode of this here sketch comedy program that we all love to laugh at. The guest lineup, in case you weren’t paying attention, consisted of Michael Keaton and Billie Eilish. Interestingly enough, this was both his fourth time as host AND her fourth time as musical guest. But there was much more time elapsed in his case, as he first stopped by in 1982, while she made her Studio 8H debut in 2019.

As for my reviewing style this week, I’m going to stick with a classic, as I transcribe the notes I wrote in my notebook while watching the episode.

More

Older Entries Newer Entries