In ‘The Beekeeper,’ Jason Statham Takes His Grievances Straight to the Top of the Hive

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Honey, Honey (CREDIT: Daniel Smith/© 2024 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. All Rights Reserved)

Starring: Jason Statham, Emmy Raver-Lampman, Josh Hutcherson, Bobby Naderi, Jeremy Irons, Minnie Driver, Phylicia Rashad

Director: David Ayer

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for Excessively Excessive Violence

Release Date: January 12, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: After his neighbor Eloise Parker (Phylicia Rashad) is scammed out of millions of dollars in a phishing scheme, a mysterious man known as Adam Clay (Jason Statham) takes it upon himself to wipe out the entire organization preying upon these vulnerable seniors.  Meanwhile, Eloise’s FBI agent daughter Verona (Emmy Raver-Lampman) starts investigating both Clay and the people who swindled her mother. It soon becomes clear that everyone is in for a lot more than they bargained for. The scamming operation is run by a tech bro master of the universe jerkoff (Josh Hutcherson) who is connected to some very powerful people, while Mr. Clay is the product of an organization known as “Beekeepers,” who were engineered to root out problems just like this one. But he’s gone rogue, and that does not bode well for anyone standing in his way.

What Made an Impression?: Hooking Our Sympathies: Who among us in 21st Century Planet Earth hasn’t been victimized by intrusive pop-up viruses or pushy call centers? Even if you’ve managed to escape without losing any cash or computer data, you know how much of a nuisance they are. So it’s not hard to understand Clay’s instinct to incinerate where it’s all happening. That has to be one of the most popular revenge fantasies nowadays. So it’s a bit of a shock that that destruction is merely the first blow in the War of Clay vs. The Scammers, instead of the final battle. Where does The Beekeeper go from there to keep the melee coming?
A Study in Extremes: As it turns out, the answer to that question is: turn Jason Statham into a one-man wrecking crew. That’s not exactly a new innovation, but director David Ayer takes the concept to grotesque extremes that I don’t think we’ve ever quite seen before. Where one punch to the head is enough to dispatch a foe, at least three more punches are added. And where the amputation of fingers is presumably enough to teach someone a lesson, he’s instead tied to a car and dragged into the bottom of a river. I suppose the idea being explored here is the consequence of creating super-soldiers, but the mysterious nature of the Beekeepers precludes the script from fully exploring that possibility. Either way, it’s not particularly pleasant to watch Mr. Clay execute his mayhem.
Ironing Out the Details: While I’m often put off by the sour worldview in David Ayer’s films, at least he’s able to attract top-notch talent in front of the camera. Statham can play this type of character in his sleep, and he’s not really being asked to elevate it higher than its B-movie trappings. But in the supporting roles, there is often room to deliver some gravitas, and who better to deliver than Jeremy Irons? With his pristinely pressed suits, he serves as a corporate executive tasked with making sure the operation runs smoothly. That description could also accurately describe the entirety of Irons’ acting career. If we must descend into a grotesque bloodbath, at least let the professionals chaperone us.

The Beekeeper is Recommended If You Like: January pulp, Classically trained actors in lowbrow flicks, Slamming appliances out of frustration

Grade: 2 out of 5 Hives

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 1/5/24

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Not Pictured: The Boy, or The Swallow (CREDIT: Netflix © 2023)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
–Night Swim (Theaters)

TV
–RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 16 Premiere (January 5 on MTV)
-Golden Globes (January 7 on CBS)
–Grimsburg Series Premiere (January 7 on FOX) – Detective Jon Hamm.
–The Great North Season 4 Premiere (January 7 on FOX)
–Echo Series Premiere (January 9 on Disney+) – New Marvel show. Maybe I’ll watch.
–Boy Swallows Universe Series Premiere (January 11 on Netflix) – I’m a fan of Phoebe Tonkin.
–Break Point Season 2 (January 11 on Netflix)
–Ted Season 1 (January 11 on Peacock)

Podcasts
–Newcomers Season Premiere – Lauren and Nicole are talking Batman!

The Spirits in ‘Night Swim’ Offer a Devil’s Bargain

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Take a dip? (CREDIT: Universal Pictures)

Starring: Wyatt Russell, Kerry Condon, Amélie Hoeferle, Gavin Warren, Nancy Lenehan, Jodi Long, Rahnuma Panthaky, Eddie Martinez, Elijah J. Roberts

Director: Bryce McGuire

Running Time: 98 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Creepy Black Goo and A Few Near-Drownings

Release Date: January 5, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Professional baseball player Ray Waller (Wyatt Russell) and his wife Eve (Kerry Condon) are shopping for a new home that will hopefully afford him some space to adjust after a recent multiple sclerosis diagnosis forced him to take time away from the game. They settle on a cozy suburban spot with a backyard swimming pool that has a very unusual feature: it’s connected to the groundwater! Also, it’s haunted. However, when Ray takes a dip, it’s more like a fountain of youth, as his symptoms begin to miraculously fade away. Unfortunately the pool has a bit of a tit-for-tat arrangement with all of its owners: for every person it cures, it must consume someone else. That certainly doesn’t bode well for Ray and Eve’s kids Izzy (Amélie Hoeferle) and Elliot (Gavin Warren).

What Made an Impression?: A New Mythology?: For much of Night Swim, I couldn’t help but ask, “When are we going to discover that this pool was built on an ancient burial ground?” While the premise is certainly Poltergeist-y, the aesthetics are more beholden to turn-of-the-20th century J-horror, especially when the strands of dark black hair of previous victims peek through the pool’s filter. But writer-director Bryce McGuire has ultimately crafted his own unique dark parable. It’s an expansion of the short film he made in 2014 (along with Rod Blackhurst, who has a story credit on the feature), but it also feels like it could be drawing from the mythology of some nation or ethnic group that I’m not terribly familiar with. If that’s the case, I’d love to dig deeper into the real-life inspiration. Although as far as I can tell, this was mostly McGuire’s creation. It’s a creepy enough scenario, although I do wish I had been more viscerally freaked out instead of focusing on all this pondering.
Shifting Moods, Shifting Tones: Each member of the Waller clan besides Ray has their own ghostly experience that convinces them that the pool is not to be trusted. But young Elliot is the only one who responds to that realization with much urgency. His older sister and mom do have flashes of taking the threat seriously, but they’re distracted by more earthbound concerns. (Maybe there’s a point being made about losing touch with the supernatural as you get older?) When it eventually gets to a point that they can’t deny what’s right in front of their eyes, they often remain rather stone-faced. Perhaps this family just isn’t very expressive.
It all builds and falls to a rather matter-of-fact resolution despite a notably tragic climax. I don’t know if McGuire ever fully figured out what tone he was aiming for. Or if he did, I’m not sure he clearly conveyed that to his cast. Still, there’s enough creepy imagery and a solidly unnerving premise to make Night Swim worth a lukewarm recommendation despite all the awkwardness.

Night Swim is Recommended If You: Saw all the gunk trapped in a pool filter and then thought, “Hey, what if that’s haunted?”

Grade: 3 out of 5 Marco Polos

The Most Anticipate-able TV Shows of 2023

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CREDIT (Clockwise from Top Left): Paramount Plus/Screenshot; Mitch Haaseth/Disney; Paramount Plus/Screenshot; Apple TV+

For my 2023 TV wrap-up coverage, I’ve decided to compile a list of the shows I was most excited to watch week in and week out. Or day in and day out, in the case of more regular programming. Or in the case of series that released their entire seasons at once, they’re the shows that I was most excited to press play on the next episode button. These aren’t necessarily my favorite shows of the year, though there’s definitely some overlap.

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jmunney’s Top Cinematic Choices for January 2024

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Starting a new chapter in 2024 (CREDIT: Moris Puccio/Legendary Entertainment)

They keep making new movies, and some of them are even worth watching. Here’s what’s at the top of the slate for January 2024:

Night Swim: A family moves into a new house, but the swimming pool is haunted. LOL. Better Call Saul‘s Kerry Condon plays the mom!

You can take a Night Swim in theaters beginning on January 5.

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2023: A Year at the Movies

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Hey look, it’s a movie! (PHOTO CREDIT: Bob Malone)

I am become jmunney, Watcher of Movies

(Included with the list of titles are grades, dates, showtimes, theatre locations, and folks I saw the movies with.)

1. M3GAN – A- (1/3, 6:30 PM, AMC Lincoln Square, New York, NY; myself)
2. Broker – B (1/6, 6:50 PM, Regal Essex Crossing, New York, NY; myself)
3. RRR – B+ (1/7, 7:00 PM, Cinema Village, New York, NY; myself)
4. House Party (2023) – C- (1/9, 4:00 PM, Warner Media Screening Room, New York, NY; myself)
5. Missing – B+ (1/12, 6:00 PM, Regal Union Square, New York, NY; myself)

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Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 12/29/23

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I’m floored. (CREDIT: FOX/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

TV
–The Twilight Zone Marathon (December 30-January 2 on SYFY) – There’s also a T. Zone marathon on the H&I channel.
–The Floor Series Premiere (January 2 on FOX) – A new game show hosted by Rob Lowe. Maybe it’ll be worth checking out?
–I Can See Your Voice Season Premiere (January 3 on FOX)

That’s Auntertaiment Mini-Episode: 2023 Holiday Special

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Christmas 2023 has us feeling like… (CREDIT: Screenshot)

Aunt Beth and Jeff share culinary holiday traditions and scope out their 2023 holiday viewing plans.

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 12/22/23

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Gotta check in to ’em all (CREDIT: Netflix)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
–Anyone But You (Theaters)
–Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (Theaters)
–The Boys in the Boat (Theaters on Christmas)
–The Color Purple (Theaters on Christmas)
–Ferrari (Theaters on Christmas)
–The Iron Claw (Theaters)
–Occupied City (Theaters on Christmas)

TV
–What If…? Season 2 Premiere (December 22 on Disney+) – A new episode each day nine days in a row.
–Extended Family Series Premiere (December 23 on NBC) – Jon Cryer. Abigail Spencer. Donald Faison.
–Night Court Reboot Season 2 Premiere (December 23 on NBC) – Kicking things off with a holiday episode.
–Doctor Who: The Church on Ruby Road (December 25 on Disney+) – Christmas Episode.
–Pokémon Concierge Series Premiere (December 28 on Netflix) – Hotel for pocket monsters.

Music
-Ben Hosley, Slow XMas 3 – The latest holiday release from one of my favorite podcast producers.

‘Occupied City’ Review: Looking Back at What Happened in The Netherlands During the Holocaust Via Four-Hour Documentary

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Occupied City (CREDIT: A24)

Narrator: Melanie Hyams

Director: Steve McQueen

Running Time: 262 Minutes (Including a 15-Minute Intermission)

Rating: PG-13 for A Disturbing History Lesson

Release Date: December 25, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: In a year of high-profile lengthy theatrical releases, Occupied City is the longest endurance test yet. Clocking in at over four hours (with a break in between), this documentary from director Steve McQueen features footage of modern-day Amsterdam juxtaposed with voice-over narration describing events that happened during the Holocaust at various buildings in the Dutch capital. The visuals were shot during some of the most intense chapters of the COVID-19 pandemic, which invites you to draw historical parallels, if you please. But for the most part, it’s all presented profoundly matter-of-factly.

What Made an Impression?: Exhibiting the Evidence: I’ve never seen any movie quite like Occupied City, and I’m kind of surprised – almost stunned, even – that it’s getting any sort of commercial theatrical release at all. It might be worth seeing just on the basis of that uniqueness alone. But you might also come to the same conclusion that I did, which is to say: this feels more like a museum exhibit than a movie, wherein the narration would play on a loop in a room throughout the day while the images are projected on the wall.
Viewing Strategy: Extending that museum exhibit idea, that would likely be a preferable way to take in Occupied City, since it would allow you to get up and stretch and keep the blood flowing. As for the cinematic form that it actually exists in, it at least helps that there’s an intermission to prevent a total lack of mobility. But even if you do get up at some point during either of the two halves, don’t worry. McQueen himself has said that pee breaks are part of the experience. After all, four hours isn’t massive enough to fully capture this subject, so you’re going to be missing out on something anyway. You might as well embrace that fact and not lose touch with the outside world too much if you do decide to go see Occupied City.

Occupied City is Recommended If You Like: Thoroughness, University lectures, An even-keeled speaking voice

Grade: 3 out of 5 Amsterdams

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