Jmunney's Blog

5, 5, Freddy’s coming for you (CREDIT: Patti Perret/Universal Pictures)

Starring: Josh Hutcherson, Elizabeth Lail, Piper Rubio, Matthew Lillard, Mary Stuart Masterson, Kat Conner Sterling, Christian Stokes, Joseph Poliquin, Lucas Grant

Director: Emma Tammi

Running Time: 109 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Slicing and Dicing

Release Date: October 27, 2023 (Theaters and Peacock)

What’s It About?: Ever since his younger brother was kidnapped when they were kids, Mike Schmidt has been irrevocably haunted to the point that he can’t hold down a job without his barely hidden anger bubbling up to the surface. With his spotty employment record, the only gig that he can find is overnight security at the long-closed children’s entertainment center Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.  He pretty much has to accept it, especially since he’s the legal guardian of his sister Abby (Piper Rubio), and neither of them wants him to give up custody to their awful Aunt Jane (Mary Stuart Masterson). But there are strange things afoot at Freddy’s: a police officer named Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) randomly arrives to show Mike the ropes, the career counselor who got him the job (Matthew Lillard) sure seems to be hiding something, and oh yeah, the place’s signature animatronic animals apparently come alive on their own.

What Made an Impression?: Showing Their Hand: Five Nights at Freddy’s is based on a series of video games that is just filled to the brim with lore and backstory that’s only hinted at in the actual gameplay. I’m no FNaF expert, though I’ve done some research, so I came in with suspicions about which characters had more going on than initially meets the eye. But even if you’re a total newbie, it shouldn’t be hard to have some sense of what’s going on. Vanessa’s police work seems to exclusively revolve around Freddy’s, and the career counselor is both spooked and excited when he realizes who his new client is. Not to mention that Lillard’s performance is pretty much a redux of his career-making turn as Scream‘s sniveling Stu Macher. So it’s no spoiler to say that these two probably have some idea about why dead bodies keep piling up. Despite that lack of surprise, the explanation is sufficiently twisted to feel the gut punch.
How Supernatural Is It?!: The truth about Freddy and his fellow robot animals is both prosaic and ghastly. The logical side provides the skeletal structure for the story to rest upon, while the supernatural elements are ultimately the main attraction, and how you cotton to them will most likely determine how much you do or don’t appreciate this movie. Every night, Mike dreams about the day his brother was abducted, as his subconscious begins to be invaded by a group of kids who might just be the youngsters who disappeared decades ago at Freddy’s. We never get a full explanation of these supernatural processes, and that’s certainly not necessarily, as a hallmark of the supernatural is that it exists beyond logic. But if those aspects aren’t viscerally grabbing you by the collar, you might feel compelled to let your mind wander to figure out their origins instead, and that was pretty much how it went for me. However, if you’ve been permanently scarred by childhood trips to Chuck E. Cheese (Freddy’s obvious inspiration), then maybe FNaF is exactly the sort of exposure therapy you need to resolve your trauma.

Five Nights at Freddy’s is Recommended If You Like: Whatever the love child of The Shining and Goosebumps would be

Grade: 3 out of 5 Fazbears