That’s Auntertainment! Episode 35: In the Heights and the Return to Theaters

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CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot

In case you haven’t noticed, Aunt Beth and Jeff love going to the movies. They weren’t able to do that very much in 2020. Fortunately in 2021 they’ve been able to head back out to the theater much more often, like when they saw the hot new musical In the Heights. So now it’s time to talk about what makes movie theaters so great … yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Thank You, ‘Malignant,’ for Being Malignant

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Malignant (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Annabelle Wallis, Maddie Hasson, George Young, Michole Briana White, Marina Mazepa, Jean Louisa Kelly, Susanna Thompson, Jake Abel, Jacqueline McKenzie, Christian Clemenson, McKenna Grace, Ingrid Bisu, Amir AboulEla

Director: James Wan

Running Time: 111 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 10, 2021 (Theaters and HBO Max)

I’ve never seen anything quite like Malignant. This is the type of movie that’s best to go in completely unspoiled on, so I’m going to be careful with how I choose my words. And after all, I like to keep it brief when reviewing something that’s already fully released, so I won’t say much more. But I will say this: when I heard that this movie was called “Malignant,” I wondered why it was so generic. Then I watched it and realized that it was actually the most perfect title.

One more bit before I go: one thing I like to do when reviewing is ask myself if the movie I’m reviewing makes me want to do/be the thing in the title. So… does Malignant make me want to be Malignant? Honestly, I’m tempted. I can’t deny how cool it would be. The vicarious thrills I experienced while watching were wildly energizing enough on their own. But it would probably lead to a lot of gore, and I have a history of getting lightheaded at the sight of blood, so better to keep things benevolent and benign.

Grade: 1999 Malignants

One Weird Thing About ‘Jungle Cruise’

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Jungle Cruise (CREDIT: Walt Disney Studios/Screenshot)

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Jack Whitehall, Édgar Ramírez, Jesse Plemons, Paul Giamatti

Director: Jaume Collet-Serra

Running Time: 127 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: July 30, 2021 (Theaters and Disney+)

About midway through watching Jungle Cruise, I was trying to remember what trailer I had recently seen with Édgar Ramírez in it. I knew it was very recent, but I also knew that it wasn’t any of the trailers that I saw with Jungle Cruise (Addams Family 2, Sing 2, Dune, Encanto, and Shang-Chi, for the record). I was certain the trailer in question must have been from the past week. I considered the possibility that it was for a TV show, but that couldn’t have been right. Édgar Ramírez wasn’t showing up on any TV show anytime soon as far as I knew, and I’m pretty sure that’s the sort of thing I would know about. So what could it be?

Then perhaps a half hour later, Ramírez showed up as some immortal explorer, and I realized that what I half-remembered as a trailer was actually the prologue of the movie that I was currently watching. I was actually kind of impressed that his reappearance could come across as such an unexpected surprise. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say about Jungle Cruise.

Grade: 3 Jaumes out of 5 Collet-Serras

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 9/10/21

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Y: The Last Man (CREDIT: FX/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
The Card Counter (Theaters) – Oscar Isaac, Tiffany Haddish, and Paul Schrader, oh my!
Malignant (Theaters and HBO Max) – Another horrific directorial effort from James Wan.

TV
-2021 MTV Video Music Awards (September 12 on MTV)
Ultra City Smiths Linear TV Premiere (September 13 on AMC) – Wild-sounding stop-motion show that previously aired on AMC+.
Jeopardy! Season 38 Premiere (Check local listings)
Y: The Last Man Series Premiere (September 13 on Hulu) – Finally!

Music
-Andrew W.K., God is Partying
-Kacey Musgraves, Star-Crossed
-Sleigh Bells, Texis

Shang-Chi and Legend of the Review of ‘Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings’

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Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (CREDIT: Marvel Entertainment/Screenshot)

Starring: Simu Liu, Awkwafina, Meng’er Zhang, Tony Leung, Michelle Yeoh, Fala Chen, Ben Kingsley, Florian Munteanu, Benedict Wong

Director: Destin Daniel Cretton

Running Time: 132 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: September 3, 2021 (Theaters)

Most Marvel Cinematic Universe movies have me feeling some variation of “That was okay, I guess I enjoyed that.” But with Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, it was a little different. I saw it with my dad, who asked me multiple times how familiar I was with the character, which made me realize that I don’t think I’ve ever read a single comic book issue that featured Shang-Chi in any capacity. That freshness didn’t necessarily translate into meaning that Legend of the Ten Rings was any better than other recent MCU movies; rather, it just felt like less of a chore. And in fact, despite the presence of MCU vets like Benedict Wong and Ben Kingsley, it reminded me more of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon than anything Marvel-certified. Although I should note that I’ve never actually seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. But it did have such a huge impact on the culture that it kinda feels like I at least absorbed it. Will Shang-Chi have a similarly huge cultural impact? Probably not, but at least everyone appeared to be having a good time.

Grade: 7 Souls out of 10 Soul-Stealing Dragons

‘The Card Counter’ Has a Lot More On Its Itinerary Than Gambling

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The Card Counter (CREDIT: Focus Features)

Starring: Oscar Isaac, Tiffany Haddish, Tye Sheridan, Willem Dafoe

Director: Paul Schrader

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for A Hotel Rendezvous and Hellish Scenes of Explicit Torture

Release Date: September 10, 2021 (Theaters)

The Card Counter stars the darkly handsome Oscar Isaac as numerically blessed gambler William Tell. He drifts from casino to casino, careful to keep his winnings modest so as not to attract too much attention, all the while letting us in on his methods via voiceover narration. Then Tiffany Haddish shows up as La Linda, a scout who would like to recruit him onto the World Series of Poker circuit. These are two distinct acting flavors, but I have a suspicion that they’re going to go great together, so I’m happy to be on board, no matter where this story ends up going. And it certainly must be emphasized that this affair is written and directed by Paul Schrader, who’s known for his morally probing character studies when collaborating with Martin Scorcese (Taxi Driver, Raging Bull) and when busting out on his own (First Reformed). It’s always essential to have a variety of voices collaborating on a movie set, and The Card Counter is mighty fine evidence of that.

Just when we’re ready to settle into this movie’s groove of gambling games and existential reflection, it lets you know that there’s actually a whole lot more going on. It turns out that this isn’t Paul Schrader’s Poker Movie, but rather, Paul Schrader’s Guantanamo Boy Movie. In a past life that isn’t so past, William Tell was a big deal military interrogator stationed at that notoriously torture-filled base. And now he’s on a mission to confront that past. His plan goes in unexpected directions when he meets up with Tye Sheridan’s Cirk*, who has his own personal connection to William’s former boss, Major John Gordo (Willem Dafoe). (*That’s “Cirk,” like “Kirk.” When he introduced himself as “Cirk with a C,” I wondered if that “C” came at the beginning or end of his name.)

It’s worth noting that I find the milieu of most gambling establishments to be terribly oppressive. Luckily, though, The Card Counter makes things a little more bearable with its uniformly compelling, as well as some genuinely goofy moments, like the flag-clad poker players chanting “USA! USA!” Those moments of levity, as well as the positively steamy chemistry between Isaac and Haddish, are essential for getting through the absolute muck that is the Guantanamo portion of the story. I’m not really sure what William or Cirk’s plan is, or if they even have a plan but are instead just cool and collected enough to give off the illusion that they have it all together. Maybe counting cards is just a way to find some order in a profoundly disordered world. If that means we’ve got a movie that’s half tightly coiled, half messy beyond all comprehension, then that sounds like a deal worth going in on.

The Card Counter is Recommended If You Like: First Reformed, Fisheye lens detours, Sour insides wrapped up in a savory exterior

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Flops

That’s Auntertainment! Karaoke Korner 21

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Karaoke Korner is now old enough to drink! This time around, the suggestions come from Jeff’s aunt. But not Aunt Beth! No, Jeff has other aunts as well, and this one is known as Aunt Mary Claire.

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 9/3/21

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Impeachment: American Crime Story (CREDIT: FX/Screenshot)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Cinderella (September 3 on Amazon Prime) – With Billy Porter as the Fab G.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Theaters)

TV
Impeachment: American Crime Story Season Premiere (September 7 on FX) – Monica Lewinsky is on hand as a producer.

Music
-Iron Maiden, Senjutsu

Modern Jukebox Musical Update of ‘Cinderella’ is Here to Sweep You Off Your Feet

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Cinderella (2021) (CREDIT: Kerry Brown/Amazon)

Starring: Camila Cabello, Nicholas Galitzine, Idina Menzel, Pierce Brosnan, Minnie Driver, Tallulah Greive, Billy Porter, Maddie Baillio, Charlotte Spencer

Director: Kay Cannon

Running Time: 113 Minutes

Rating: PG for Some Slightly Off-Color Dialogue

Release Date: September 3, 2021 (Amazon Prime Video and Limited Theaters)

How can it ever be allowed that movies don’t first open in the theater? Look, I know we’re in a precarious situation right now in which theatrical releases don’t always look like a safe or financially viable option, but there are certain flicks that just demand to be seen on the big screen. Personally, I believe that’s true of all films, but it’s especially in the case of this jukebox musical version of Cinderella, written and directed by Pitch Perfect vet Kay Cannon. This is exactly the sort of movie that should have people getting up and singing and dancing in the aisles! Sure, you can also do that in your living room, but we know that’s not the same as losing yourself in a dark room full of strangers. This is a piece of art that begins with a mashup of Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” and Des’ree’s “You Gotta Be,” and I’m sorry, but if that’s the message you’re delivering, then you can’t keep me confined to non-theatrical viewing options.

So here’s the journey that Cinderella 2021 took to finally arrive in front of our eyeballs: in pre-pandemic days, Sony scheduled it for a February 2019 theatrical release, but then in May 2021, they cut a deal with Amazon to have it go straight to Prime Video. May of this year! A time when things looked promising! Anyway, I suppose that Cinderella can still be enjoyed at home. I enjoyed it that way, after all! Just gather around the kids and a bunch of your friends and maybe make a party out of it. It’s the rare modern retelling of a classic story that’s neither too surface-level nor too overly specific. The setting is still “Generic Medieval English Village,” but the dialogue is a close-enough facsimile to the 21st century to have enough upside.

The message boils down to the fairly straightforward “Maybe we don’t have to fulfill the roles that society has prescribed to us,” but the details are well-considered. Camila Cabello is the plucky Ella (the “Cinder” nickname comes from her stepsisters associating her with cinder blocks), who doesn’t just want to wear pretty dresses and marry a prince – she wants to run her own dressmaking business and marry that prince only if he’ll support her career aspirations. And she’s not the only character who’s granted a thoughtful reconsideration. Her stepmother Vivian (Idina Menzel) isn’t cruel because she’s evil, but rather because her own dashed dreams have driven her towards cynicism.

We also get to know more about Prince Robert (Nicholas Galitzine) and his family: the King who’s boxed in by tradition (Pierce Brosnan), the Queen who’s wondering where the passion in her marriage went (Minnie Driver), and the Princess who just wants to be taken seriously (Tallulah Grieve). And of course we can’t forget Fab G, the fairy godparent brought to typically fabulous life by Billy Porter. If anybody can be anything, why wouldn’t that character be played by one of the most effervescent entertainers alive today? Similarly, whenever Cinderella 2021 operates by the logic of “If a new Cinderella can be whatever we want, then let’s do whatever we want,” it just transports you away.

Cinderella 2021 is Recommended If You Like: Galavant, Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Billy Porter Realness, The delightful TBS sitcom Miracle Workers

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Dresses

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