‘I Wanna Dance with Somebody’ is Straightforward But Powerful

December 21, 2022

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Singing about dancing (CREDIT: Emily Aragones/TriStar Pictures)

Starring: Naomi Ackie, Stanley Tucci, Nafessa Williams, Ashton Sanders, Tamara Tunie, Clarke Peters

Director: Kasi Lemmons

Running Time: 146 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Dramatized Real-Life Drug Addiction

Release Date: December 23, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: She’s been called the greatest voice of her generation. To make it even more elemental, her nickname was simply “The Voice.” Maybe this movie about her should have been called The Voice. Sure, there’s also a popular reality competition show by that name, but wouldn’t it have been the most aptly brazen decision? Instead, I Wanna Dance with Somebody opted for the typical musical biopic convention of using one of the artist’s most popular songs as the title.

I’m talking about Whitney Houston, of course. And if you’ve been paying attention at all to popular music for the last 40 years, then you surely already know the whole story. I Wanna Dance with Somebody covers the whole shebang, with every triumph and tragedy on full widescreen display.

What Made an Impression?: I Wanna Dance with Somebody has absolutely no intention of reinventing the biopic playbook. It starts with Houston’s origin story and ends with her untimely passing, covering every career highlight in between. With all the drama inherent to her story, this box-checking approach is certainly hard to resist. But also, her story has already been told plenty of times in high-profile formats, so a biopic is hardly necessary. Nevertheless, I Wanna Dance with Somebody manages to distinguish itself in a couple of ways.

First of all, Kasi Lemmons is a wonderful director of emotions. She corrals every feeling, whether big or subtle, exactly where they’re supposed to be. And there’s plenty to corral here! It certainly helps that she’s assembled a cast who know exactly where to find the moment. Naomi Ackie summons Whitney’s spirit as fervently as possible, while Stanley Tucci is basically the second coming of her mentor-producer Clive Davis. As Cissy and John Houston, Tamara Tunie and Clarke Peters bring mythological heft to parenting, while Ashton Sanders is an absolute scoundrel as Bobby Brown.

The film’s other distinguishing figure is serving as a corrective to the historical record regarding Houston’s sexuality. Before her marriage to Brown, Whitney shacked up with her longtime assistant and creative director Robyn Crawford, here played with steely loyalty by Nafessa Williams. The real Crawford detailed their relationship in her memoir, but that’s not something you’re likely to have heard in the most mainstream tellings. But for I Wanna Dance with Somebody, there was clearly no way around it, and I for one am grateful for that.

I Wanna Dance with Somebody is Recommended If You Like: Behind the Music, Juicy tell-alls, Scrolling through YouTube for classic live performances

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 #1 Hits

‘Women Talking,’ Audience Listening

December 20, 2022

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Women Talking, ooh, Women Talking! (Credit: Michael Gibson/©2022 Orion Releasing LLC. All Rights Reserved.)

Starring: Rooney Mara, Claire Foy, Jessie Buckley, Judith Ivey, Ben Whishaw, Frances McDormand, Sheila McCarthy

Director: Sarah Polley

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Discussions of Abuse and Assault

Release Date: December 23, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Women Talking is indeed about a group of women who are talking. What are they talking about? Let’s dig into it.

These women are members of a Mennonite colony, which means that they’re rather insular and isolated by nature. And with their current set of circumstances, they’re even more isolated than usual. The men in their community have been severely abusing them, and it’s time to decide what to do about that. Their options are: do nothing, stay and fight, or leave and start anew. None of those choices are perfect, but they’ve reached a breaking point and something must be done. So these very opinionated women hash it out for as long as necessary until they can come to a solution that enough of them can go along with, while Ben Whishaw plays the one kindly man who stays behind to take the minutes.

What Made an Impression?: One of the first things you’ll notice about Women Talking – unless you’re too drowsy to notice – is how hypnotically desaturated the color palette is. It’s liable to lull you to sleep; I’ll leave it up to you all to decide whether or not that’s a positive. I will say that I felt transported, which is one of the best (if not THE best) ways to feel sleepy at a movie theater. I was whisked away into a mysterious land, where the secrets flowed forth like a geyser.

The other major element of Women Talking that is impossible to ignore is Hildur Guðnadóttir’s rustic score that I would label “thriller lite.” It captures the sense of needing to run away while you’re sitting still. There’s also a vibe to those plucking strings that can best be described as The Temptation of Comfort. Stillness and chaos, bound together.

And as a final note, I will register my surprise at how much of a peek we get at the outside world, particularly in the form of a census worker driving by and calling out for the members of the community to come and be counted for the 2010 population. These Mennonites mostly eschew modern amenities, so even knowing what year it is feels like a betrayal of their trust. But that beckoning, that frisson, is what this conflict is all about. The times they are a-changin’, no matter what year you decide to live in.

Women Talking is Recommended If You Like: 12 Angry Men, but if it were set in a barn

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Votes

‘Puss in Boots: The Last Wish’ Shoots for the Stars!

December 19, 2022

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When You Wish Upon a Puss in Boots… (CREDIT: Dreamworks Animation)

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Harvey Guillén, John Mulaney, Florence Pugh, Olivia Colman, Ray Winstone, Samson Kayo, Wagner Moura, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Anthony Mendez, Kevin McCann, Betsy Sodaro

Director: Joel Crawford

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Rating: PG for Cartoon Kitty Catastrophes

Release Date: December 21, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A talking cat? A talking, swashbuckling cat?! Well, yes indeed. We’ve known this debonair furball for years at this point. Decades even. He lives in a fairy tale world where plenty of the animals are anthropomorphized, after all. Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) has had no trouble making a name for himself. But alas, he seems to be losing a bit of his mojo lately. And when you’re a feline, that means having only one of your reputed nine lives left to spare. But this being a fairy tale world and all, there exist methods for magical restoration. So when Puss hears about the existence of a Wishing Star, he naturally wants to get his claws on it. But he’s not the only one, as Jack Horner (John Mulaney), Goldilocks (Florence Pugh) and the three bears (Olivia Colman, Ray Winstone, Samson Kayo), and Puss’ old flame Kitty Softpaws (Salma Hayek) all have their own plans to procure the star’s powers. Also, Harvey Guillén voices a dog.

What Made an Impression?: If the only Shrek film you’ve seen previously was the first one, you could be forgiven for not realizing that Puss in Boots: The Last Wish takes place in the same universe. Sure, both of them are populated by fairy tale characters, but their modus operandi are totally different. Where the green ogre was irreverent, his feline colleague is more purely adventurous. The likes of Jack Horner, Goldi, and Pinocchio are thein window dressing in a sense, with their cultural histories mostly beside the point. The Last Wish‘s spacey climax on the Wishing Star feels like something out of an LSD trip, or a Super Mario video game, which is to say: not at all what I was expecting.

In that vein, The Last Wish actually reminded me of Halloween Ends, insofar as they’re both latter-day franchise entries with confoundingly unpredictable narrative left turns. In both cases, it’s plenty fascinating, and I suspect it will be easier to get away with this time around, since Puss doesn’t have to bear the weight of expectations that Michael Myers does. If his creators want to make his latest adventure more fantastical than any corner of the Shrek universe has ever been, then there’s really no reason not to. It certainly gives the voice cast something new to bite into, to the point that John Mulaney appears to be experiencing Heath Ledger-as-Joker-level glee in his revolution of a classic character. There’s room to color outside the lines here, and I can’t complain about that.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish is Recommended If You Like: Super Smash Bros., Mario Kart, John Mulaney & the Sack Lunch Bunch

Grade: 3 out of 5 Swords

‘Babylon’ is an Overlong, Overexcited Warping of ‘Singin’ in the Rain’

December 16, 2022

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Babble on! (CREDIT: Scott Garfield/Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Margot Robbie, Brad Pitt, Diego Calva, Jean Smart, Jovan Adepo, Li Jun Li, Lukas Haas, Max Minghella, Samara Weaving, Olivia Wilde, Katherine Waterston, Flea, Jeff Garlin, Olivia Hamilton, P.J. Byrne, Rory Scovel, Eric Roberts, Tobey Maguire

Director: Damien Chazelle

Running Time: 188 Minutes

Rating: R for Bacchanalian Partying, Sudden Bloody Ends, and a Few Bumps of the Hard Stuff

Release Date: December 23, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: It’s the 1920s, and Hollywood is Big Business. And when they’re not making movies, it’s basically a non-stop party. But danger also lurks around every corner. With the talkie era looming, Nellie LaRoy (Margot Robbie) is ready to be a supernova, Jack Conrad (Brad Pitt) is hoping to stay relevant, trumpeter Sidney Palmer (Jovan Adepo) wants to be treated with respect, and dozens of other folks also have their skin in the game. There will be a rise! There will be a fall! There will be an epilogue! You know how it goes.

What Made an Impression?: If you’re thinking that this premise sounds a lot like Singin’ in the Rain, well, writer-director Damien Chazelle doesn’t make any effort to hide that influence. Babylon is essentially the answer to the question, “What if Singin’ in the Rain had ten more storylines and a hundred more exposed private parts?” If that sounds like overkill to you, I would advise you to trust your instincts. The jazz is great, though. Chazelle absolutely knows how to assemble a musical montage.

Babylon‘s next biggest influence, weirdly enough, appears to be the grossest of gross-out comedies in the vein of the Farrelly brothers, as mass quantities of bodily fluids spurt out unexpectedly in all directions on multiple occasions. Within the first five minutes, an elephant excretes what appears to be an entire week’s worth of its meals. A little later, the fanciest of fancy parties is ruined by a heaping helping of projectile vomit. Chazelle’s timing when it comes to yukking it up aren’t on quite the same level as his musical skills. I’m not sure if these moments are meant to be hilarious, tragic, or just plain matter-of-fact.

There are also a lot of deaths in Babylon, and most of them are given exactly zero seconds to investigate the consequences. I’m not surprised that movie set workplace safety wasn’t exactly a top priority a hundred years ago, but it can only work as a punchline so often in this sort of overstimulated movie. After a certain point, it’s just alarming without examining what happens afterward. Babylon is filled with inexplicable decisions, is what I’m trying to say.

Babylon is Recommended If You Like: Being Overstimulated

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Parties

‘Pinocchio, Pistachio, Toro! Toro! Toro!’

December 13, 2022

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What’s up, Pinocchio? (CREDIT: Netflix © 2022)

Starring: Gregory Mann, David Bradley, Ewan McGregor, Christoph Waltz, Tilda Swinton, Ron Perlman, Finn Wolfhard, Cate Blanchett, Burn Gorman, Tim Blake Nelson, John Turturro, Tom Kenny

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Running Time: 117 Minutes

Rating: PG

Release Date: November 9, 2022 (Theaters)/December 9, 2022 (Netflix)

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio – or as I refer to it, “Guillermo del Toro’s Pistachio” (because of that Rugrats episode where the babies call Pinocchio “Pistachio”) – is pretty dang lovely. It hasn’t quite inspired some baby-speak-style quoting from me to follow in the footsteps of the Rugrats version, but that’s okay. Furthermore, I thought that it was Cate Blanchett who was voicing the Fairy and her sister Death, but that was actually Tilda Swinton, while Cate was the voice of the monkey. That realization pretty much sums up my reaction in general to this whole movie, as Pinocchio’s stop-motion wooden walking was similarly mind-altering.

Grade: Cate Blanchett Voiced the Monkey?!

I’m Not Entirely Sure What to Say About ‘The Whale,’ But I’ll Do My Best

December 6, 2022

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CREDIT: A24

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Hong Chau, Sadie Sink, Ty Simpkins, Samantha Morton

Director: Darren Aronofsky

Running Time: 117 Minutes

Rating: R for Profanity Borne of Anger and Frustration

Release Date: December 9, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Charlie (Brendan Fraser) spends all of his days sitting on his couch, teaching an online English class and ordering delivery. Hardly anyone ever sees him, including his students, as he keeps his laptop camera disabled. He tells them it’s broken, but really, he just doesn’t want to have to deal with their reactions to the fact that he weighs 600 pounds. This may just be the last week of his life, as he’s enduring congestive heart failure and refusing to go to a hospital. So instead he’s looked after by his no-nonsense friend Liz (Hong Chau), who’s also a nurse. They’re occasionally interrupted by door-to-door missionary Thomas (Ty Simpkins), who becomes obsessed with counseling Charlie through what he believes is the impending apocalypse. And in the meantime, Charlie also does his damnedest to reconnect with his estranged teenage daughter, the disaffected and manipulative Ellie (Sadie Sink).

What Made an Impression?: I’m really not quite sure how to react to The Whale. And I’m not even talking about the controversy that tends to always surround fat suit prosthetics. As far as I can tell, the physical demands of playing someone this big actually demand an actor who’s fit and hardy. So if you are going to make a movie with a character who weighs as much as Charlie, the only way to do it is with someone who doesn’t weigh anywhere near as much as he does. This is all to say: I certainly get the criticism around this sort of casting, but I also understand why it was made the way it was made.

But that doesn’t mean I understand everything about this movie. It’s based on a play by the film’s screenwriter, Samuel D. Hunter, and that theatrical pedigree is present every which way. The action is limited to one location, and the emotion is delivered all the way to Pluto. That overwrought style can be fine, you just have to convince the audience to buy into it. And on that point of whether or not I’m convinced? I’m confounded.

Charlie is a supremely frustrating character. He likes to see the good in everybody, especially Ellie, who he insists is just wonderful, despite pretty much all evidence to the contrary. Part of that is just what a long-absent dad would typically say when trying to reconnect to his kid. But at a certain point, you think he ought to admit that she’s not exactly what we call friendly. To anybody. At all. He does value honesty above just about everything else, though, even when it’s brutal. But to that point, we viewers might want him to confront the brutality in his own life, particularly the loss of a boyfriend that led to his reclusiveness and disordered eating. Fraser undoubtedly gives it all, as he wrings just about every note he can out of what he’s asked to do. But while I recognized the ambition, I was also left ultimately responding, “Well, gee… Hmm.”

The Whale is Recommended If You Like: Distorted optimism

Grade: 3 out of 5 Moby Dicks

Can We Hear You Now, ‘White Noise’?

December 3, 2022

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Look at how White all that Noise is! (CREDIT: Netflix © 2022)

Starring: Adam Driver, Greta Gerwig, Raffey Cassidy, Sam Nivola, May Nivola, Don Cheadle, André Benjamin, Jodie Turner-Smith

Director: Noah Baumbach

Running Time: 136 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: November 25, 2022 (Theaters)/December 30, 2022 (Netflix)

My favorite part of White Noise is the exuberant supermarket end credits dance number, to the point that I wished the entire movie had been one long choreographed performance. But in a way, it kind of was, if you interpret the unnatural dialogue as a sort of dance. And I’m going to choose to remember it that way. I’m sure Jack and Baba would approve.

Grade: A Whole Lot of Air in That Airborne Toxic Event

Duty Calls for a Battle-Hardened Santa in ‘Violent Night’

November 30, 2022

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“No, Mr. Santa, I expect you to be Violent tonight.” (CREDIT: Allen Fraser/Universal Pictures)

Starring: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, Alex Hassell, Alexis Louder, Leah Brady, Beverly D’Angelo, Edi Patterson, Cam Gigandet

Director: Tommy Wirkola

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: R for The Bloodiest Xmas Ever

Release Date: December 2, 2022 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: So many (and I mean, SO MANY) Christmas films proclaim that we just have to BELIEVE that Santa is real, and if we believe hard enough, he’ll come through for us. According to Violent Night, that belief means that the big guy will save you from a gang of merciless thieves who have their hearts set on stealing your family’s fortune, even though he’s a full-on drunken mess. So it makes sense that he’s played in this go-round by David Harbour, a burly bear of a man who’s still lovable even when he’s barfing over the side of his sleigh. And Violent Night pulls off a similar trick by delivering plenty of treacly holiday sweetness alongside its profoundly massive levels of gore and dismemberment.

What Made an Impression?: The commercials for Violent Night told me that it would be “Die Hard meets Home Alone.” To which I responded: “Die Hard and Home Alone are already pretty similar.” Well, it turns out that description is exactly 100% accurate, because this movie does indeed answer the question “What if John McClane were Kris Kringle and he teamed up with Kevin McAllister as a young girl in a sickeningly wealthy family?”

So it was especially fortuitous that I happened to watch some of Home Alone 2 a few days earlier, and with adult eyes, it helped clarify that every blow to the head surely resulted in (at least) a concussion for the Wet Bandits. Violent Night continues that thought by taking the bloodshed and injuries wrought by rusty nails and bowling balls to their logical conclusions, and also adding plenty of gunfire to the mix. If you’re in the mood for something this deadly, you’ll probably laugh a fair amount, though you might get exhausted a bit by all the mayhem.

Director Tommy Wirkola made his name with the 2009 Nazi zombie flick Dead Snow, so the unrelenting demented mayhem was very much to be expected in Violent Night. Naturally enough then, the most fun is had by those who are most allowed to revel in the bloodbath, particularly Harbour, whose Santa originated as a Viking warrior; John Leguizamo as Mr. Scrooge, the leader of the burglars; and Leah Brady as Trudy the troublemaker (who’s still very much on the nice list). The soapy family drama dynamics aren’t quite as fulfilling, though they are appropriately foul-mouthed, with Beverly D’Angelo setting the right non-motherly tone as the family matriarch. But it’s a messy world that we live in right now, and this may just be the Santa we need to deliver us holiday cheer in 2022.

Violent Night is Recommended If You Like: Milk and cookies chased with top shelf liquor

Grade: 3 out of 5 Candy Canes

What Happens When a TV Journalist Experiences His Own Tragic Love Story? ‘Spoiler Alert’!

November 29, 2022

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Spoiler Alert: These guys are in the movie (CREDIT: Giovanni Rufino / © 2022 FOCUS FEATURES LLC.)

Starring: Jim Parsons, Ben Aldridge, Sally Field, Bill Irwin

Director: Michael Showalter

Running Time: 112 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for Straightforward Talk About Adult Relationships and Serious Illness

Release Date: December 2, 2022 (Limited Theaters)/December 9, 2022 (Expands Nationwide)

What’s It About?: Michael Ausiello probably would’ve been perfectly fine writing about TV and living on his own for the rest of his life. Or maybe I’m being a little presumptive… Either way, the version of him played by Jim Parsons in Spoiler Alert (based on Ausiello’s memoir of the same name) seems pretty content with his cushy TV Guide gig and heading home on his own to his Jersey City apartment at the end of every workday. But then he goes out drinking one night and just happens to really hit it off with a fellow by the name of Kit Cowan (played here by Ben Aldridge). It’s the early 2000s, so it’s becoming a gradually easier time for a gay couple to be visible in America. But just as soon as Michael and Kit become comfortable in their togetherness, Kit is suddenly struck by terminal cancer. And there’s nothing for Michael to do except constantly be by his side, and then adapt their story into a big screen-worthy romantic journey.

What Made an Impression?: Parsons and Aldridge’s chemistry is low-key and pretty dang believable, surely partly because Ausiello was on hand as one of the producers. There’s not really any effort to make this story representative of all queer love stories, and it’s nice to be free of that burden. There can be value in speaking for the community at large, but in this case it just makes the most sense for it to be only Michael and Kit’s story, and their story alone

But what really sells Spoiler Alert to me are the flashbacks to Michael’s childhood with his brothers and widowed mother. They’re presented like a stereotypical cheesy family sitcom, which is basically catnip to a generation that was raised on the likes of Growing Pains and Full House. Of course, it also speaks right to my heart as a fellow professional connoisseur of entertainment. But I think this approach can also work for any adult who stays in touch with their inner child by searching for a way back to a comfortable home.

And it also helps that Sally Field and Bill Irwin are on hand as Kit’s fully supportive parents. Field is a veteran of director Michael Showalter’s oeuvre, and well, if you’ve been paying attention to cinema of the past 40 years, you know that her casting makes 1000% perfect sense. Irwin is a bit more of an oddball choice, as he’s known primarily for mind- and body-bending roles, like a mutant scientist on FX’s Legion and the voice of TARS in Interstellar. But weirdos have hearts too, and some of them grow up to be dads, so he proves to be an inspired choice. Overall, the tone is just spot on throughout. Spoiler alert: your heart will swell full-to-bursting by the end.

Spoiler Alert is Recommended If You Like: Bittersweet romcoms, 80s Sitcoms, 90s Sitcoms, The rise of Peak TV culture

Grade: 4 out of 5 Doctor’s Visits

‘Glass Onion’: A Friends Out Moviegoing Experience

November 26, 2022

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Will they solve it? (CREDIT: John Wilson/Netflix © 2022)

Starring: Daniel Craig, Edward Norton, Janelle Monáe, Kathryn Hahn, Leslie Odom Jr., Kate Hudson, Dave Bautista, Jessica Henwick, Madelyn Cline

Director: Rian Johnson

Running Time: 139 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: November 23, 2022 (Theaters)/December 23, 2022 (Netflix)

I saw Glass Onion (one of those newfangled Knives Out mysteries) in a cinema with a larger-than-normal party than I usually go to the theater with. And I’m very grateful for all of that! That’s what it called for, and if I’d been watching on Netflix, I’m worried that my attention would have strayed too much during the first act. Undoubtedly, that mental wandering would have been a HUGE problem if I’d looked down while Ed Norton was dressed just like Tom Cruise in Magnolia. And that just simply would have been unacceptable.

Grade: A Satisfactory Amount of Flavor When Peeling the Layers of the Onion

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