Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.
Movies
–Argylle (Theaters) – I’m here mainly for the Dua Lipa.
–How to Have Sex (Theaters)
–Orion and the Dark (February 2 on Netflix) – Written by Charlie Kaufman, narrated by Werner Herzog.
TV
–Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 12 Premiere (February 4 on HBO) – Final Season Alert!
-Grammy Awards (February 4 on CBS)
–51st Anniversary Saturn Awards (February 4 on ElectricNOW) – Honoring genre films; hosted by Joel McHale.
–Solar Opposites Valentine’s Day Special (February 5 on Hulu)
–Abbott Elementary Season 3 Premiere (February 6 on ABC)
–The Conners Season 3 Premiere (February 6 on ABC)
–Not Dead Yet Season 2 Premiere (February 6 on ABC)
CREDIT (Clockwise from Top Left): Dana Hawley/Lionsgate; IFC Films; Takashi Seida/A24; Universal Pictures
For this latest annual cinematic Top 10 list, I decided to mix it up a bit and not focus too much on the ranking order. So instead, I’ve listed this decalogue in alphabetical order, along with some thoughts about the impressions they made on me.
(If you DO want to know the order that I’d rank them in, feel free to scroll ahead to the bottom for the big reveal.)
They keep making new movies, and some of them are even worth watching. Here’s what’s at the top of the slate for February 2024:
Lisa Frankenstein: The title of this movie is my favorite pun ever. As for the plot, Kathryn Newton reanimates the corpse of Cole Sprouse. Diablo Cody wrote the screenplay, while Zelda Williams (Robin’s daughter) makes her feature directorial debut.
Lisa Frankenstein will stagger into theaters on February 9.
Wait a minute — the cat! (CREDIT: Universal Pictures/Apple Original Films/Marv)
Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Sofia Boutella, Rob Delaney, Richard E. Grant, Chip the Cat
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Running Time: 139 Minutes
Rating: PG-13 for Violence That Makes the Main Character Constantly Wince
Release Date: February 2, 2024 (Theaters)
What’s It About?: Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) is a super-duper successful espionage novelist, so much so that some actual spies have started to take notice of her. It turns out that the plot of her books have somehow mirrored the actual activities of an underground spy ring known as The Division. At least that’s the story that a bearded man named Aidan (Sam Rockwell) tells her when he randomly pops up like he’s in a Terminator movie to say that she better come with him if she wants to live. And well, he might be onto something, as there do seem to suddenly be a lot of people with guns and knives in Elly’s vicinity. Meanwhile, she keeps having visions of Argylle (Henry Cavill), the titular hero of her novels who seems to know her better than she knows herself.
What Made an Impression?: We’re in a Spy Movie!: I found it difficult to embrace Argylle, because it just never felt like any of these characters were particularly spy-like. Instead, they felt more like people who were excited to be in a spy movie. Now look, I’ve never met a secret agent (that I know of!), so I can’t say with authority what genuine espionage dialogue truly is. But I’m still a little skeptical that the cloak and dagger set would refer to their adversaries as generically as “the bad guys.” And that seeming lack of authenticity is doubly felt by how antithetical it is to Argylle‘s premise. Dance For Your Life: In general, I’ve found Matthew Vaughn’s films to be at best only fitfully compelling. But I can’t deny that he knows how to choreograph some marvelously kinetic action sequences, particularly when they marry combat with dance. In 2015’s Kingsman, the standout set piece was a massacre in a church set to “Free Bird,” while Argylle ups the ante with a battle royale on a train soundtracked by Sylvester and Patrick Cowley’s disco hit “Do You Wanna Funk.” Vaughn’s characters might be fighting over nonsense, but these melees are something special. Stupid Fun or Just Stupid?: In the interest of avoiding spoilers, I won’t reveal why Elly’s novels are so prescient, but I will say that once we do get an explanation, Argylle really kicks into a higher gear. Suffice it to say, the explanation is a classic trope based on presumably bogus science. But as far as hokum goes, it’s enjoyable-enough hokum that can push the plot along in zippy directions. It justifies at least a little of all this silly business.
Argylle is Recommended If You Like: The Kingsman series, Unknown, Hypnotic
It’s tricky to fall in love with new songs when I don’t drive as much as I used to and therefore don’t listen to the radio as much as I used to either. But somehow, a dozen or so songs still manage to annually bubble their way up to a very special place in my heart.
Albums, meanwhile, typically have a better chance of making an impression on me nowadays, as I tend to sit and listen to them straight through on a popular music streaming service while taking care of business.
With all that mind, here’s the new music that made the biggest impression on me in 2023:
Miller’s Girl is the sort of tawdry movie that probably makes a lot of viewers go, “Why is this coming out in 2024? And why did we ever think this type of premise was okay?” When I ask myself that question and wonder why this sort of thing didn’t bother me in the 90s and early 2000s, I realize: it was because I didn’t watch that stuff back then!
Here’s the deal: Jenna Ortega plays a precocious high school student who gets a little too explicit for her teacher Martin Freeman to handle while working on an assignment that riffs on Henry Miller. Meanwhile, her friend Gideon Adlon flirts with another teacher (Bashir Salahuddin), just for the hell of it, I suppose? Anyway, it’s all mostly rather tame and forgettable (with the exception of some bluntly flowery voiceover).
When I first read the premise, I glossed over the “creative writing” part of “A creative writing assignment,” and I somehow got it in my head that the assignment in question had to do with espionage. I would have much rather lived in that reality.
Heading into the Christmas break, it seemed like I had a lot more new movies to catch up on than usual. Or maybe it was actually a normal amount, and I was just cataloging my filmgoing plans a little more closely than I typically do. Either way, it took me about a month, but I’ve finally checked off everything that was on my to-watch list. So let’s run down some quick thoughts on all of them!
Dakota just hosted SNL with Justin Timberlake? (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)
Jeff “jmunney” Malone watches every new episode of Saturday Night Live and then reviews all the sketches and segments according to a “wacky” theme.
Hello, I am reporting for duty to review the tenth episode of the forty-ninth season of Saturday Night Live. For the guest lineup, we’ve got some returning friends, with Dakota Johnson hosting and Justin Timberlake as the musical guest. Since this is a reunion of sorts of The Social Network, I will take inspiration from that movie and review each sketch by paraphrasing a certain beloved line from that flick and ask, “You know what’s cool?”
Whenever I’m doing something that doesn’t require my full attention, chances are I’m also pushing play on a podcast. I’m a loyal listener to a couple dozen or so podcasts every year, so I like to put together some annual thoughts on the shows that left a big impression on me.
This isn’t a ranking of the best podcasts of the year (which would be woefully inadequate in such a massive medium anyway), but rather, just a collection of musings that I feel like broadcasting out to the world. This isn’t an exhaustive cataloging of every podcast I listened to in 2023, but it is a pretty good snapshot of my Podcast Personality.
So read on, let me know what you’re listening to as well, and maybe we can podcast together sometime, too!