‘All Quiet on the Western Lunch’ (JK, It’s ‘Front,’ But I Am Hungry)

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How QUIET is it?! (CREDIT: Reiner Bajo/Netflix)

Starring: Felix Kammerrer, Albrecht Schuch, Aaron Hilmer, Moritz Klaus, Adrian Grünewald, Edin Hasanovic, Daniel Brühl, Thibault de Montalembert, Devid Striesow, Andreas Döhler, Sebastian Hülk

Director: Edward Berger

Running Time: 147 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: October 7, 2022 (Theaters)/October 28, 2022 (Netflix)

I finally got around to seeing All Quiet on the Western Front to make sure I caught all the Best Picture nominees. It was playing at the Alamo Drafthouse, so I ordered a milkshake topped with a giant cookie and some donut holes. As it turns out, you CAN enjoy the sweetest of desserts while watching the deadliest of war flicks. (Although it is worth noting that I finished it up before the most gruesome sequences.) I’m pretty sure I read the book years ago for school, but I don’t remember much about it. I was reminded of 1917: World War I, technical achievements, not much else.

Grade: The Milkshake Was Great!

That’s Auntertainment! Karaoke Korner 33

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How about this: Dad/Brother Bob has already provided a Karaoke Korner setlist, and now he’s BACK with another.

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 2/10/23

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𝄞Now you’re just somebody that I used to know from one of the best TV shows of all time!𝄞 (CREDIT: Amazon Prime Video)

Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
Consecration (Theaters) – A religiously themed horror movie starring Jena Malone.
Magic Mike’s Last Dance (Theaters)
Somebody I Used to Know (February 10 on Amazon Prime) – Husband-wife team Alison Brie and Dave Franco wrote a screenplay together. Danny Pudi is in the cast, too.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (Fathom Events Screenings Beginning February 15) – Oh bother, Pooh Bear is in the public domain now.

TV
-Puppy Bowl XIX (February 12 on Animal Planet) – This year’s edition will be simulcast on Discovery Channel, TBS, HBO Max, and discovery+.
The Masked Singer Season 9 Premiere (February 15 on FOX)
Animal Control Series Premiere (February 16 on FOX) – Starring Joel McHale and animals.

Music
-Paramore, This Is Why
-Rebecca Black, Let Her Burn – Yes, that Rebecca Black.
-Yo La Tengo, This Stupid World

Sports
-Super Bowl LVII (February 12 on FOX) – Rihanna at halftime.

jmunney’s Favorite Albums of 2022

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Before publishing this list, I listened to each of these albums again to make sure that I still liked them. And I did! (But there was one other that I had on my preliminary list that I ultimately decided I didn’t like enough to include. Bonus points if you can guess what it was.)

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Please! One More! Okay, But This is ‘Magic Mike’s Last Dance’

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(CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Channing Tatum, Salma Hayek, Ayub Khan Din, Juliette Motamed, Jemelia George, Vicki Pepperine

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R for Unstoppable Gyrations (with Permission)

Release Date: February 10, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: If Michael Jeffrey Lane stopped dancing, would there be any reason to make a movie about him anymore? I’d like to think so, but thankfully we haven’t had to face that possibility yet so far. Although, when we meet him at the beginning of Magic Mike’s Last Dance, he’s been out of the game for quite a while. Instead, he’s a gig worker serving bar at a generic fancy event, when he’s recognized by a satisfied customer from back in the day. Then word gets around to Max Mendoza (Salma Hayek, credited with her married name of “Pinault”), who hires for him a private dance. Then immediately afterwards she whisks him off to England to mount a live dance revue on a stuffy London stage. Max is basically using her obscene wealth to get back at her soon-to-be-ex-husband, but when the moves are this electric, who’s complaining?

What Made an Impression?: Magic Mike’s Last Dance kicks off with some narration that contextualizes Mike’s plight in the entire evolutionary history of dance. That voiceover comes courtesy of Jemelia George, who also plays Max’s over-it teenage daughter Zadie. We learn later that Zadie is writing a novel, so I then girded myself for the big reveal that Zadie was actually the author of Mike’s odyssey this whole time. Spoiler Alert: no such luck, but the narration is still plenty effective, offering a sort of grad school thesis-style framework. Channing Tatum’s piercing facial expressions can come across as empty in ungenerous interpretations, but with Zadie’s guidance, there’s no way not to see his journey as deeply yearning and humanistically profound.

Anyway, I’m sure everyone wants to know how much Tatum and Hayek sizzle up the screen together. And obviously they do, there’s no reason to worry about that. Mike and Max’s first encounter is the most brazenly sensual cinematic sequence I’ve seen since the last Magic Mike. For the rest of the movie, they settle into more of a sugar-and-spice odd couple routine, which is nice enough to move the whole thing along.

But obviously we’re all here for the grand finale. And let’s make no bones about it: Mike and his crew do not hold back. The staging is perfectly framed, the buildup gets all the right pieces together, and you can feel the crowd’s cheeky energy. Fascinatingly enough, I was most blown away by the emcee who introduces the dancers. She’s played by Juliette Motamed, who discovers untold delights in describing the fireworks shooting off around her. The pleasure is palpable, and there’s simply no reason to resist.

Magic Mike’s Last Dance is Recommended If You Like: Leaving Every Last Inch of Yourself on the Stage

Grade: 4 out of 5 Thrusts

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: Pedro Pascal/Coldplay

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Brr! This episode was very Chile. (CREDIT: NBC/Screenshot)

I’ve seen Pedro Pascal on my TV more than once. And now I’m seeing him again! That exclamation point is because as of February 4, 2023, he’s an SNL host. And nobody can ever take that away from him!

Coldplay’s the musical guest, but that’s nothing new.

This is the first episode of February, so to celebrate, I’m going to review each sketch according to the format “I ❤️ (something).”

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That’s Auntertaiment Mini-Episode: What’s Jeff Watching? #5

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You’re the Gold now, Man! (CREDIT: Peacock/Screenshot)

Take a leap and knock at my poker face: it’s Paul T. Goldman!

Entertainment To-Do List: Week of 2/3/23

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Every week, I list all the upcoming (or recently released) movies, TV shows, albums, podcasts, etc. that I believe are worth checking out.

Movies
80 for Brady (Theaters)
Knock at the Cabin (Theaters)

TV
Not Dead Yet Series Premiere (February 8 on ABC) – Gina Rodriguez is back!
South Park Season 26 Premiere (February 8 on Comedy Central)

Music on TV
-65th Annual Grammy Awards (February 5 on CBS)

Music
-John Frusciante, . I : and : I I .

Podcasts
Drifting Off with Joe Pera – The star of Joe Pera Talks with You helps you fall asleep in audio form.

Sports
-2023 Pro Bowl Games (February 5 on ABC, ESPN, and Disney XD) – They’re playing flag football this year, so I might check it out.

jmunney’s Favorite Songs of 2022

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CREDIT: Music Video Screenshots

Strong showing from movie tunes this year. And man, I just love it when those music-makers just jam out and go for it.

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The ‘Knock at the Cabin’ Comes for All of Us

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Knock Knock (CREDIT: Universal Pictures/PhoByMo)

Starring: Dave Bautista, Ben Aldridge, Jonathan Groff, Kristen Cui, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Abby Quinn, Rupert Grint

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloody Fights with Medieval-Looking Weaponry and Tense Profanity

Release Date: February 3, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Andrew (Ben Aldridge) and Eric (Jonathan Groff) thought they were going to have a nice vacation in their cozy remote spot in the woods with their young daughter Wen (Kristen Cui). But then a group of unexpected visitors arrive, and they … well, it’s right there in the title. Second-grade teacher Leonard (Dave Bautista), nurse Sabrina (Nikki Amuka-Bird), short-order cook Adriane (Abby Quinn), and gas company employee Redmond (Rupert Grint) claim that they’re on a mission to prevent the looming apocalypse. The four of them have been haunted by the same visions that have led to an inescapable conclusion: Andrew, Eric, and Wen must choose to kill one member of their family, or else everyone else in the world will die. Whoever is sacrificed cannot die at his or her own hands, nor can Andrew and his associates carry out the act. Andrew and Eric are naturally incredulous, believing it’s much likely that this is an elaborately staged homophobic attack. But a series of catastrophic coincidences – not to mention the trauma of being trapped in a confined space – leads them to at least consider the possibility that something profoundly cosmic could be happening.

What Made an Impression?: Every movie that M. Night Shyamalan has made since The Sixth Sense has been burdened by the expectation of “Can he pull off another twist like THAT again?” And he’s pretty much embraced that reputation, with a seemingly endless series of attempts to gobsmack us at the end. It’s never been as phenomenally successful as the ghost tale that made his name, and in fact a few times it’s gotten more than a bit silly. But ever since getting back to basics with 2015’s The Visit, he’s displayed a much more consistently deft touch with his conclusions.

Knock at the Cabin‘s premise certainly invites speculation about a potential twist ending. Is the apocalypse realer than we could have possibly imagined? Or will it be revealed as something else entirely once our perspective is adjusted? Without spoiling anything, I’ll note that this is Shyamalan at his most challenging (rewardingly so, if you can get on the film’s wavelength).

What struck me the most about Knock at the Cabin is its plausibility. Leonard’s evidence of the apocalypse are events that you can find on real world newscasts just about every single day: earthquakes and tsunamis, a new deadly disease, planes malfunctioning in mid-air. And Bautista, who’s always been a reliable screen presence, is an absolute revelation here, delivering a series of monologues with quietly passionate, tenderly direct conviction.

Knock at the Cabin left me with a truth that I already fully bought into, but that I’m seeing now more clearly than ever: The world is a scary place, and the family unit often bears the brunt of that cruelty. And sometimes we have to make impossible decisions for the love that binds us to carry on.

Knock at the Cabin is Recommended If You Like: The Box, Shyamalan-ian close-ups and flashbacks, Daddies

Grade: 4 out of 5 Sacrifices

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