‘Dumb Money’ is Smart Storytelling

September 13, 2023

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So Dumb (CREDIT: Sony Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Paul Dano, Pete Davidson, Seth Rogen, Shailene Woodley, America Ferrera, Nick Offerman, Anthony Ramos, Sebastian Stan, Dane DeHaan, Myha’la Harold, Rushi Kota, Talia Ryder

Director: Craig Gillespie

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: R for Dumb Profanity and Cheeky Nudity

Release Date: September 15, 2023 (Limited Theaters)/September 29, 2023 (Expands Wide)

What’s It About?: STONKS! I could attempt to continue to write the rest of this review of Dumb Money in the lingua franca of the r/WallStreetBets subreddit, but alas, I’m probably not well-versed in it enough to produce something coherent. So I’ll instead keep it generally prosaic. Back in 2020 and early 2021, r/WallStreetBets was the social media hub for something rather strange happening in the stock market. Based on the advice of a chicken tender-obsessed financial analyst named Keith Gill (Paul Dano), a whole cadre of amateur traders decide to go all in on the retail chain GameStop. Meanwhile, Wall Street types like Gabe Plotkin (Seth Rogen) and Kenneth Griffin (Nick Offerman) are fairly confident that they should do exactly the opposite by short selling GameStop stock, what with the general decline of in-person retail video game sales. But the meme-fueled enthusiasm of working class folks like a nurse (America Ferrera), a couple of college classmates (Myha’la Harold and Talia Ryder), and even a GameStop cashier (Anthony Ramos) ensures that Opposite Day will be arriving very soon.

What Made an Impression?: Cutting Through the Malarkey: If you feel that the financial markets are a rigged game, it’s probably because their rules are too intricate and incomprehensible to anyone who can’t afford to spend hours poring over them every day. So it’s a bit of a minor miracle that Dumb Money is so easy to understand despite all that. It certainly helps that it’s based on a story that was widely covered by the media. And the underlying concepts are straightforward enough that you don’t have to sweat the details. But maybe we’ve also become more financially literate as a society since the days of Occupy Wall Street and the other populist movements that followed in its wake, along with the democratizing rise of the Robinhood stock trading app, which plays a major role in this story. But also, it comes down to simple storytelling skills: the characters are compelling, so it’s easier to pay attention to what’s going on.
A Busy Pandemic: Recent history is a major part of popular cinema, and if that trend is going to continue, then we can’t ignore the COVID-19 of it all. As this story takes place during the height of the pre-vaccinated pandemic, there are a lot of face masks. That was a time of heightened anxiety, but it was also a time of doing whatever the hell else was part of your life, whether that meant surreptitiously texting in class, trying not to curse in front of your kids, or even trying to run that sub-4:00 mile you could never quite pull off in college. Buying stocks that become worth millions of dollars isn’t cool, you know what is cool? Making billion dollars’ worth of memories that you’ll cherish forever.
What’s Behind the Screen?: Context is king. Dumb Money relies on a fair amount of pre-existing news footage, as well as clips of real politicians from Congressional hearings. This mix of documentary and dramatization equals illumination. The events of this story initially played out behind Zoom screens and Internet-speak, and now we get some juicy peeks into how those scenes might have played out in the flesh. They’re filled with the high-stakes foibles of humanity, offering an irresistible mix of voyeurism but also sympathy, as well as savagery but also a dollop of optimism. If the Almighty Dollar remains king, we’ll all remain dumb for it, but hopefully we can still blast through the status quo a bit in the meantime.

Dumb Money is Recommended If You Like: The Social Network, The Big Short, Memes

Grade: 4.5 out of 5 STONKS

‘The Nun II’: You Ain’t Gettin’ Nun

September 9, 2023

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Where’s Nunno? (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot)

Starring: Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, Storm Reid, Anna Popplewell, Bonnie Aarons, Katelyn Rose Downey, Suzanne Bertish

Director: Michael Chaves

Running Time: 110 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: September 8, 2023 (Theaters)

I think The Nun should team up with Pistachio Disguisey from The Master of Disguise. Sure she’s got some other skills besides blending into things, particularly telekinesis. But those feats of fancy aren’t all that special compared to her camouflage capers. Maybe her next adventure should be some sort of Where’s Waldo?-style puzzler.

Grade: A Little More Than Nun of the Fun

‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3’ Actually Heads to Greece – Should We Join Them?

September 7, 2023

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Is “selfie” a Greek Word? (CREDIT: Yannis Drakoulidis/Focus Features)

Starring: Nia Vardalos, John Corbett, Louis Mandylor, Elena Kampouris, Lainie Kazan, Andrea Martin, Maria Vacratsis, Melina Kotselou, Elias Kacavas, Gia Carides, Joey Fatone, Gerry Mendicino, Stephanie Nur

Director: Nia Vardalos

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: PG-13 for A Quick Trip to a Nude Beach and a Lack of Familial Boundaries

Release Date: September 8, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Toula Portokalos (Nia Vardalos) still has a wacky Greek family, but they’re not quite as boisterous as they used to be. Her dad Gus has passed away, her mom Maria (Lainie Kazan) is starting to get a little senile, and the once-regular family dinners are now few and far between. But they need to properly honor Gus’ legacy, so it’s time to head back to the homeland to make good on his final wish and deliver a journal to some of his childhood friends. Ergo, it’s time for pretty much the entire Greek population of Chicago to crowd onto a plane and enjoy several days of the sunny, low-key Mediterranean lifestyle.

What Made an Impression?: Low-Stress Love Stories: In case you’re worried about whether or not Gus’ journal is successfully delivered, well, I won’t spoil it completely. But I will say that it’s not an especially difficult task, and a rather simple MacGuffin to build an entire plot around. Which is one way of saying that there are other things going on to fill up an hour and a half, like the awkward courtship between Toula and Ian’s (John Corbett) college-age daughter Paris (Elena Kampouris) and some guy she ghosted named Aristotle (Elias Kacavas). Aristotle is along for the trip ostensibly as Aunt Voula’s (Andrea Martin) assistant, but we can all easily see through that thin cover of matchmaking. Anyway, Paris and Aristotle quickly become sweet on each other with minimal conflict. There’s some business about her failing in school, but that’s basically solved just as easily through sheer gumption. Another love story pops up as well and  gets a bit of side eye because one of the characters is a refugee. But that also becomes not a big deal just as quickly. Maybe after all the rigamarole about Ian not being Greek, the family just decided to immediately accept any and all notions of love.
It’s All Greeks to Greeks: The Portokalos family has a habit of pointing out that certain words and bits of culture are – believe it or not – thoroughly and utterly Greek. And they’ve certainly got a point, as the Hellenistic period did indeed influence much of the Western world for the next couple millennia. But when they’re actually physically in Greece, those comments hit a little differently. Which is to say: everybody knows all that already! Anyway, it’s a gag that’s worth a few chuckles.
Just Let Them Say Funny Things: So My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 is low-stress, mostly plotless, and more or less an advertisement for the Greek tourism industry. But it still has some funny people doing some funny things, and it shows sparks of life when they’re allowed to make some mildly ribald comments. Andrea Martin in particular is as dynamite as ever, and she develops a charming rapport with Melina Kotselou, who’s apparently playing the mayor of the village. (It sort of makes sense in context.) Anyway, we could have used more of that odd couple combo. Otherwise, this is a sequel that’s just coasting by on the goodwill of its fanbase.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 is Recommended If You Like: Greek completism

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Journals

‘Bottoms’ is a Queer, Bloody, and Fantastical Journey Through High School

August 24, 2023

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Bottoms on top? (CREDIT: ORION Pictures)

Starring: Rachel Sennott, Ayo Edebiri, Havana Rose Liu, Kaia Gerber, Nicholas Galitzine, Dagmara Domińczyk, Marshawn Lynch, Ruby Cruz

Director: Emma Seligman

Running Time: 92 Minutes

Rating: R for A Fair Bit of Sexuality and Some Absurd Violence

Release Date: August 25, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: There’s no way around it: PJ (Rachel Sennott) and Josie (Ayo Edebiri) are the outcasts of all outcasts at Huntington High School. You might call them bottoms even. (The title of their movie certainly does.) They’re both gay, but that’s not the problem. Their classmates are pretty enlightened when it comes to sexual orientation, but they’re a little less so when it comes to people who are untalented and don’t care much about football. So PJ and Josie try to reverse their fortunes by starting a fight club/self-defense class/feminine support group as a front to hook up with the hottest girls in school. Will their secret be found out? Or will everyone else be more focused on the looming big game with the rival school?

What Made an Impression?: The Point is Beside the Point: The queerness that’s central to Bottoms‘ premise is always front and center, but it’s not the most fundamental aspect. At its core, this is a story about acceptance. Josie and PJ could just as easily be scheming on a plot to land some platonic friends, and you would hardly have to change any aspect of the script to make that happen. That’s a win for both representation and storytelling. This is a movie that is perfectly comfortable being matter-of-fact and upfront about its identity and then simply moving on to the rest of the good stuff.
Queer in Other Ways: Of course, there’s another definition of “queer” besides the LGBTQ+ sense. It’s a synonym for “weird” and “bizarre,” or even “outlandish.” And let’s be clear: Bottoms is strange-queer even more than it is gay-queer. If you get a bunch of funny people together, of course things are going to be off-kilter. But if you were expecting a somewhat realistic depiction of the high school experience, then you need to reset your expectations ASAP. This is a romp that is campy, gratuitous, and absurd aplenty. Every character feels like a facsimile of a human being, rather than an actual person, and the rules of life are accordingly askew.
Seriously, I Don’t Know What the Hell I Just Watched: I’m hesitant to recommend Bottoms with my full soul, because while I admire its bravado, I could never quite figure out its base reality. Random and outlandish behavior is the status quo, so I found myself thinking “OMG WTF” much more often than I was cracking up. That’s a better state of mind than nothing at all, but not as pleasurable as possible. If you want to get kooky, Bottoms has plenty of kooky. And maybe it’s just best not to ask why.

Bottoms is Recommended If You Like: Heathers, Assassination Nation, MacGruber, Cocaine Bear, The fight scenes from Anchorman and Anchorman 2

Grade: 3 out of 5 Golden Ferrets

My Second Voyage with The Meg, My First Voyage with the Demeter

August 22, 2023

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Meg 2: Dracula Boogaloo (CREDIT: Warner Bros. Pictures/Screenshot; Rainer Bajo/Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment)

Meg 2: The Trench:

Starring: Jason Statham, Wu Jing, Shuya Sophia Cai, Cliff Curtis, Melissanthi Mahut, Page Kennedy, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Skyler Samuels, Sienna Guillory, Whoopie Van Raam, Kiran Sonia Sawar, Felix Mayr

Director: Ben Wheatley

Running Time: 116 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: August 4, 2023 (Theaters)

The Last Voyage of the Demeter:

Starring: Corey Hawkins, Aisling Franciosi, Liam Cunningham, David Dastmalchian, Javier Botet, Woody Norman

Director: André Øvredal

Running Time: 119 Minutes

Rating: R

Release Date: August 11, 2023 (Theaters)

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The Doggies of ‘Strays’ Are on the Dirtiest and Sweetest Mission of the Year

August 17, 2023

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Here Be Strays (CREDIT: Universal Studios)

Starring: Will Ferrell, Jamie Foxx, Isla Fisher, Randall Park, Will Forte

Director: Josh Greenbaum

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R for Thoroughly Scatological and Sexual Humor, and Some Canine Revenge Violence

Release Date: August 18, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Dog is famously man’s best friend. But someone forgot to explain that to Doug, the frequently masturbating, irresponsible loner played by Will Forte in Strays. He has a Border Terrier named Reggie (voiced by Will Ferrell), but that’s only to spite his most recent ex-girlfriend, who was actually the one who chose to adopt the pup in the first place. Soon enough, Doug realizes that Reggie’s cramping his style a bit too much, so he tries to get rid of him with a miles-long version of fetch. Reggie thinks it’s all a game until streetwise stray Boston Terrier Bug (Jamie Foxx) sets him straight. The two of them then team up with therapy Great Dane Hunter (Randall Park) and sniffer supreme Australian Shepherd Maggie (Isla Fisher) for the ultimate revenge mission: they’re going to take away the thing that Doug cares the most about in the world by biting off a certain part of his anatomy that dangles between his legs.

What Made an Impression?: An Explicit Dog’s Life: I didn’t make any exact calculations while watching, but I would estimate that about 75% of the jokes and gags in Strays are scatological or sexual in nature. That makes sense, as dogs sure do poop and pee and hump a lot. That’s true of a lot of mammals, after all! But dogs tend to be especially shameless about it. So director Josh Greenbaum and screenwriter Dan Perrault wisely take a matter-of-fact approach to the crudeness. Depending on your tolerance level for potty humor, you might find yourself averting or rolling your eyes at certain moments. But Strays stays true to its canine worldview through and through, and it deserves respect for that.
Guileless and Openhearted: It’s essential that Strays‘ main pooch be as fundamentally trusting as Reggie is. Even when he realizes how awful Doug has been to him, it doesn’t change his entire conception of existence. Instead, he still believes that the world is absolutely full of wonder, and if anything, his time with his new friends convinces him of that truth even more. Life off the leash could terrify a more skittish dog, but Reggie rolls along with pretty much anything. If you introduce him to the couch you’ve been humping, he’ll treat it as an honor to meet someone so important. If you tell him that he should tell the lawn gnome he’s humping that he’s its daddy, he’ll do his best to make the introduction to his long-lost son less awkward. It’s always welcome to have a fresh bundle of joy on your team.
Treat Your Pet Right: In its most ambitious moments, Strays grasps for profundity in exploring the emotional dynamics of toxic relationships. And it’s mostly successful. Despite his desire for vengeance, there’s also an undercurrent implying that Reggie can’t quite quit Doug. And his explanation for why that is sounds a lot like the sort that you might hear from people who have been abused in human-human relationships. Reggie has internalized the lesson that he deserves Doug’s neglect because he’s been a bad dog all along, and it’s heartbreaking to witness that realization. While Strays has been advertised a gross-but-sweet raucous comedy, it turns out that it’s actually most assured in its handling of canine psychology.

Strays is Recommended If You Like: Talking dog movies like Homeward Bound and A Dog’s Purpose but wish they had more poop and dick jokes

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Humps

In ‘Landscape with Invisible Hand,’ the Alien and Human Cultures Clash and Collaborate

August 16, 2023

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Which hand is invisible? (CREDIT: Lynsey Weatherspoon/ Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures)

Starring: Asante Blackk, Kylie Rogers, Tiffany Haddish, Josh Hamilton, Brooklyn MacKinzie, Michael Gandolfini, William Jackson Harper

Director: Cordy Finley

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Harsh Language Apparently (This Should Absolutely Be PG-13)

Release Date: August 18, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The extraterrestrials have arrived! And they’ve completely transformed society. The aliens of Landscape with Invisible Hand are crustacean-esque creatures known as the Vuvv who like to claim that they’ve instituted a sort of utopia. But really, it’s just their own version of exploitative capitalism. A few humans make out like gangbusters by ingratiating themselves into Vuvv culture, while the majority of Earth’s population struggle to deal. both financially and ethically. Among the hustlers are teenage visual artist Adam Campbell (Asante Blackk), his mom Beth (Tiffany Haddish), and sister Natalie (Brooklyn MacKinzie). At least they still have a roof over their head, which is more than can be said for his classmate Chloe (Kylie Rogers). Sparks immediately fly between the two of them, and he fancies himself a Good Samaritan, so he invites her and her dad (Josh Hamilton) and brother (Michael Gandolfini) to stay at his house until they can find something steady. But this arrangement soon turns awkward, and it only gets weirder once the Vuvv become closely involved.

What Made an Impression?: Getting On to Get On: Landscape with Invisible Hand is a bit of a postmodern alien visitation flick, insofar as the Vuvv are students of Earth culture. They’re mostly fans of classic domestic sitcoms, since they reproduce asexually and concepts like romantic and familial love are generally foreign to them. But you also get the sense that they’re familiar with conquering cinematic ETs and that they’re making a concerted effort to present themselves as a benevolent alternative. But we’ve already heard this story before in Earth history: it’s called colonization.
Even if you recognize the holes in the Vuvv’s telling, this is the new status quo, and there’s only the merest hints of revolution. So in the meantime, pretty much everyone is forced to confront how much of their integrity they’re willing to compromise to get by. And so, we meet a neurosurgeon who gives up his practice for the much more menial and wholly unnecessary – but also much more lucrative – job of Vuvv driver. Plenty of others are forced to sell their own intimacy. Adam and Chloe hit upon a quick moneymaking scheme by broadcasting their budding relationship to the Vuvv, who are fascinated by the rituals of human courtship. And one Vuvv even “marries” Beth so that he can experience what it’s like to be a human father. If this sounds like modern social media and reality TV stardom, you’re not too far off.
You’ll Know ‘Em When You Hear ‘Em: LwIH harkens back to classic mid-century sci-fi with its theremin-heavy score from Michael Abels. It suggests a woozy promise of the future that rings profoundly false. Sure, there are spaceships hanging up in the sky, but most people are stuck on the ground eating faux-meat blocks. That care to the aural design extends to the idiosyncratic sound effects. The Vuvv’s language is communicated by rubbing their fin-like appendages to create an alphabet that resembles scratching sandpaper and scraping pencils. It presents a mundane, but also unforgettable, reshaping of how to perceive the universe.
The Colors Endure: And finally, I would be remiss not to mention the element that lends this movie its title, as we’re treated to a series of shots of Adam’s artwork over the years. He’s been painting and drawing ever since he was a toddler, resulting in a signature, often watercolor-based expressive style. Eventually, his most ambitious project to date captures the attention of a prominent Vuvv art critic, who offers Adam a lucrative position as a human artist-in-residence. There’s a lot thematically in play in Landscape with Invisible Hand, and it handles this conflict of creativity vs. commerce as deftly as everything else.

Landscape with Invisible Hand is Recommended If You Like: Classic sci-fi, Modern social media, YA novels

Grade: 4 out of 5 Vuvvs

Some Thoughts About ‘Oldboy’ on the Occasion of Its 20th Anniversary Restored & Remastered Re-Release

August 15, 2023

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The Oldest of Boys… New Again (CREDIT: Neon/Screenshot)

Starring: Choi-Min sik, Yoo Ji-tae, Kang Hye-jung

Director: Park Chan-wook

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Rating: R for Unbridled Vengeance and Surprisingly Tender (But Also Somewhat Aggressive) Sexuality

Release Date: August 16, 2023 (Theaters)

If you only see one Restored & Remastered movie in 2023, then it’s time to summon that vengeful spirit and get thee to a viewing of Oldboy!

If you’re a cinephile who came of age in the early 20th century, then chances are high that this landmark feature from Park-Chan wook has loomed large in your cultural travails. Perhaps you’ve never actually seen it, or maybe you watch it at least once a year. Wherever you are on that spectrum, now’s the perfect time to check out this thrilling cinematic reverie.

My recollections of the beginning of my Personal Oldboy Journey are a little hazy. I believe I first saw it when I was in college, so sometime between 2006 and 2010. But I’m not sure whether or not I actually saw the entire thing. I might have walked in a little bit after one of my roommates turned it on. Nevertheless, there are a few moments that have remained indelible in my subconscious: Choi Min-sik’s untamed hair, the coffin on the rooftop, the live octopus feast, the one-shot hallway melee, and of course, that taboo-busting ending.

So when I took in an advance screening of this 4K remastered version a few weeks ago, I was a little taken aback about how much it felt new to me. Sure, it had been 15 years or so since my first Oldboy encounter, but it all feels so unforgettable in the moment. Paradoxically, though, any forgetfulness makes perfect sense, as it also feels like a dream in the deepest recesses of our recollection. As soon as you walk out of the theater, you can’t help but doubt the reality of what you just saw. Even 20 years later, there’s nothing quite like Oldboy. It’s transgressive and treacherous, but also an absolute treat.

Grade: 5 out of 5 Remasters

‘Red, White & Royal Blue’: Straightforward Queer Love Story, or Something Kookier?

August 10, 2023

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A couple of party dudes (CREDIT: Jonathan Prime/Prime Video)

Starring: Taylor Zakhar Perez, Nicholas Galitzine, Uma Thurman, Clifton Collins Jr., Sarah Shahi, Rachel Hilson, Ellie Bamber, Thomas Flynn, Malcolm Atobrah, Akshay Khanna, Sharon D. Clarke, Aneesh Sheth, Juan Castano, Stephen Fry

Director: Matthew López

Running Time: 118 Minutes

Rating: R for Explicit and Tender Sexuality

Release Date: August 11, 2023 (Prime Video)

What’s It About?: Alex Claremont-Diaz (Taylor Zakhar Perez) is the son of the first female President of the United States (Uma Thurman). Prince Henry (Nicholas Galitzine) is one of the grandsons in the British royal line of succession. (Although, just like a certain real-life prince, he’s a spare, not an heir). They’re forced to interact with each other at various diplomatic functions, but they hate each other’s guts. Do I need to make it any more obvious?

In case I do, it’s a modern-day queer Pride and Prejudice. Or at least that’s the first third of Red, White & Royal Blue. Alex and Henry are actually able to get past their shallow first impressions relatively quickly, and once they accept each other, the bigger question is whether or not everybody else can. The world that we see in the movie generally reflects the most progressive modern attitudes towards queer love stories, but there are a few snags. For one thing, there are worries that Alex’s dalliances could derail his mom’s re-election campaign. And more pressingly, there’s the question of whether or not there’s even a place for a gay prince in the royal family.

What Made an Impression?: Searching for Personality: It’s nice to see a globally released queer rom-com that doesn’t shy away from the most explicit parts. But it would have been even nicer if it didn’t feel so generic. Perez and Galitzine are charming enough, and their chemistry is serviceable, but the paint-by-numbers setting isn’t doing them any favors. A political backdrop certainly doesn’t need to perfectly recreate the real world, but it ought to at least be interesting if it’s going to be so integral to the story. Alas, we never really get a sense of what it’s like to have an America with a female president beyond mere platitudes. There’s at least some more urgency on the other side of the pond, as the presence of a gay prince is something that the crown hasn’t fully grappled with, and the juice of that drama is squeezed enough to feel the tension.
Strange Bursts of Personality: Thankfully, Red, White & Royal Blue isn’t entirely a slog through the most generic story beats possible. It has some sparks of coming to life, particularly a New Year’s Eve party soundtracked by perhaps the dirtiest mainstream hip-hop song of all time. Then when Alex opens up with his parents about what’s really going on, they have conversations that can best be described as “shockingly open-minded.” Thurman and Clifton Collins Jr. (as Alex’s senator dad) absolutely relish these opportunities to wax poetic about the likes of Truvada and gender-neutral bathrooms. I just wish the rest of the movie had been this inspired to let its freak flag fly. It’s what Alex and Henry (and those of watching) deserved.

Red, White & Royal Blue is Recommended If You: Can Handle a Watered-Down Version of Reality

Grade: 2.5 out of 5 Giant Wedding Cakes

‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem’ is a Mighty Good Time

August 1, 2023

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Mayhem in More Than Just a Half-Shell (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies)

Starring: Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Nicolas Cantu, Brady Noon, Jackie Chan, Ayo Edebri, Ice Cube, Hannibal Burress, Rose Byrne, John Cena, Natasia Demetriou, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Maya Rudolph

Director: Jeff Rowe

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: PG for Stylized Action Violence and Jokes with a Rude ‘Tude

Release Date: August 2, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Raphael (Micah Abbey, Nicolas Cantu, Shamon Brown Jr., and Brady Noon, respectively) just want to spend more time living out of the sewers. Is that too much to ask?! Alas, their adoptive father Splinter (Jackie Chan) insists that they must remain in the shadows. He’s a walking and talking rat, and they’re walking and talking turtles, and all the evidence indicates that humans just aren’t ready to interact with mutated animals. But the boys are growing up, and New York City has plenty of delicious pizza. So when they befriend budding journalist April O’Neil (Ayo Edebiri), they really start to believe that humans are worth getting to know. And when they encounter a cadre of other mutants led by the giant housefly Superfly (Ice Cube) intent on taking over the surface world, they decide that they must become humanity’s protectors.

What Made an Impression?: Not Afraid to Be Scary: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a fascinatingly enduring franchise. What began as a reputedly dark comic book in the 80s turned into an inescapable cheesy phenomenon with the live-action 90s films. It was a supernova that burned out quickly, but it’s hung around with occasional reboots and several TV series. You don’t need to know any of that backstory to enjoy Mutant Mayhem. But you do have to be comfortable with some kid-targeted entertainment that isn’t afraid to get dark. The animation and the fantastical nature softens the edges a bit, but still, this is a movie where the threat of mutant-on-mutant and mutant-on-human violence is very real. Younger viewers might be spooked a bit, but they’ll appreciate how hardy the heroism feels.
Milking the Gags: The turtles are a bunch of adolescent jokesters, so any TMNT flick worth its ooze will deliver the laughs. Mutant Mayhem pulls this off by crafting its own yuks from the ground up. There’s one particularly satisfying running gag about whether or not the turtles can be milked. (They don’t have nipples! … Or do they?) Two of the producers and screenwriters are Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (the latter of whom also voices mutant warthog Bebop), and you can just feel how much they’ve been itching to put their own spin on these characters for quite some time. These aren’t just tossed-off quips and catchphrases, but zingers and character beats that reward you for paying attention.
Sliced-and-Diced Animation: The sharpness of the comedy meets its match in the animation, with every cel feeling like it’s been lovingly sliced by a katana blade. This is no standard-issue CG rendering; instead, deep thought has clearly been considered about what style fits the story’s personality. It’s an irreverent, adrenaline-filled adventure crossed with a neon sugar rush. Every pixel feels like it’s working, and the whole picture just undeniably pops on screen.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is Recommended If You Like: Pizza, Viral puking videos, The Spider-Verse

Grade: 4 out of 5 Half-Shells

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