Murder is a Legitimate Love Language in the Romantic Gorefest ‘Heart Eyes’

February 5, 2025

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This is what happens when Eyes are Hearts (CREDIT: Christopher Moss/Spyglass Media Group)

Starring: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Devon Sawa, Jordana Brewster, Michaela Watkins

Director: Josh Ruben

Running Time: 97 Minutes

Rating: R for Bloody Messes Not Limited to Disembowelment and Beheading

Release Date: February 7, 2025 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: A masked serial killer has been targeting couples in major American cities the past few St. Valentine’s Days. His (Her? Their?) ocular organs are covered by a classic symbol, so they call this villain – what else! – the Heart Eyes Killer. Meanwhile, a busy young lady named Ally (Olivia Holt) doesn’t need to worry about any of that, as she and her longtime boyfriend recently ended things. Alas, she does have to worry about her vulnerable emotional state and the fact that she might lose her advertising job after a major blunder. That’s when she meets Jay (Mason Gooding), a sexy superstar consultant who she gets paired up with for a major campaign. When circumstances force them to pretend to be an item, it catches the attention of Heart Eyes, who picks up on some serious electricity flying through the air. Could this be just the sort of stressful ordeal that Ally needs to forge an unkillable bond?

What Made an Impression?: It Feels Like That Sometimes, Doesn’t It?: Heart Eyes is being promoted primarily as a slasher, but this genre mashup more closely follows the beats and resolution of a classic rom-com. After all, sometimes the pressure of desperately seeking the right mate is akin to being stalked by a merciless murderer. The metaphor is unmistakable, and mostly welcome. Director Josh Ruben has mixed laughs and scares before in the likes of Werewolves Within and Scare Me. But the tone is actually most similar to the Happy Death Day series, which makes sense when you realize that one of the three credited screenwriters is HDD director Christopher Landon. Heart Eyes perhaps drifts a bit too far into cloudcuckooland, where just about everyone is a bit too blasé about the probability of having their guts ripped out, but the exaggeration certainly matches Ally’s heightened emotions.
A Different Kind of Laughter: Bookending the mayhem is a wonderfully silly workplace comedy boldly featuring Michaela Watkins as Ally’s boss. She sports a white streak in her hair like Rogue from X-Men and an accent as thick as the New Orleans bayou (even though the movie is set in Seattle). This is far from the first time that an eminently reliable funny person like Watkins has killed it in a supporting horror role. But this is a unique example insofar as she’s providing comedic relief to the other comic relief – and both flavors are pretty funny. An expected treat hidden within the overall feast is certainly one way to keep the passion alive.

Heart Eyes is Recommended If You Like: Man Seeking Woman, Screwball rom-coms, Scream, Shamelessly imitating Scream

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Cupids

Kyle Mooney Takes Us Back to ‘Y2K’ for a Coming-of-Age Apocalypse

December 5, 2024

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Did these guys do it all for the Nookie? (CREDIT: Nicole Rivelli/A24)

Starring: Jaeden Martell, Rachel Zegler, Julian Dennison, Daniel Zolghadri, Lachlan Watson, Eduardo Franco, Fred Durst, Kyle Mooney, Mason Gooding, The Kid Laroi, Miles Robbins, Tim Heidecker, Alicia Silverstone, Lauren Balone, Kevin Mangold

Director: Kyle Mooney

Running Time: 93 Minutes

Rating: R for Stabby Electronics, Potty Humor, and Teenage Party Antics

Release Date: December 6, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: It’s December 31, 1999, and all Eli (Jaeden Martell) wants to do is finally hook up with his crush Laura (Rachel Zegler). His good buddy Danny (Julian Dennison) has his back, but pretty much everyone else in their high school relentlessly mocks them. But soon enough, that’ll be the least of their worries, because of this little thing called the Y2K virus. The start of the year 2000 was supposed to cause mass confusion among the world’s electronics as they mistakenly interpreted those last two digits as 1900. But in the real world, the new year rolled in with merely a blip. But what if instead the Y2K bug was a signal for all the computers to unite into a singularity and conquer humanity, and what if it all went down in Eli and Danny’s hometown?

What Made an Impression?: Apocalyptic Nostalgia: Y2K was directed and co-written by Kyle Mooney, who was 15 in December 1999. His fondness for the era is abundantly clear, and you get the sense that he was kind of disappointed that the world didn’t explode on January 1. I’m sure he didn’t actually want things to turn quite as violent as his movie does, but this nevertheless feels like a dream come true in a way. Basically, Y2K is what happens if you go, “What if the 1998 teen comedy Can’t Hardly Wait had been about the end of the world?” And that promise certainly sounds invigorating.
The Mooney House Style: In his years as a YouTube creator and Saturday Night Live cast member, Mooney perfected his own unique version of what is often termed “awkward” or “cringe” comedy. And while those descriptors are certainly accurate, they don’t fully capture his arsenal, as his videos also often manage to be quite sweet and weirdly exhilarating. Which is one way of saying, it’s really hard to do what Kyle Mooney does if you’re not Kyle Mooney or one of his longtime collaborators. Martell, Zegler, Dennison and the rest of the young cast all do their best to play believable, well-rounded teenagers. But in attempting to bring Mooney and Evan Winter’s script to life, it’s like they’re speaking in a language they’re not quite fluent in. Mooney himself naturally proves to be much more readily capable as a video store employee, as does fellow iconic weirdo Tim Heidecker as Eli’s dad. Perhaps the now-40-year-old Mooney could’ve pulled a PEN15 and played the lead character himself?
My Bizkit Hasn’t Been This Limp in Years: Finally, we as a moviegoing society in 2024 have to talk about something very important, as this is the second movie this year trading on our collective familiarity with a certain iconic/infamous rock star. Yes indeed, after Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst was unrecognizable in I Saw the TV Glow, he shows up in Y2K as himself to save the world with the power of nu metal. Like a lot of teens and preteens in 1999, I was more or less obsessed with Limp Bizkit, but I thought I had grown out of that as I put childish things away. But now we find ourselves at this cultural reckoning where we must ask ourselves: is the bard behind “Nookie” and “Break Stuff” a national treasure? If my limited understanding of a certain famous psychologist and theorist is correct, then there’s something Jungian about how Durst keeps popping up. Mooney certainly has a knack for tapping into the collective unconscious, and Y2K is at its strongest when you can feel him utilizing that skill.

Y2K is Recommended If You Like: Dial-up modems, Cheesy outdated computer graphics, Getting lost among the cliques

Grade: 3 out of 5 Viruses

‘Scream VI’ Takes as Many Bites Out of The Big Apple as Possible

March 8, 2023

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Scream If You Know What You’re Doing March 10 (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Spyglass Media Group)

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Courteney Cox, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Mason Gooding, Hayden Panettiere, Dermot Mulroney, Devyn Nekoda, Liana Liberato, Jack Champion, Josh Segarra, Samara Weaving, Tony Revolori, Henry Czerny, Roger L. Jackson

Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Running Time: 123 Minutes

Rating: R for Sharp Weapons and Blunt Profanity

Release Date: March 10, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: The Ghostface Killer is a virus that simply refuses to die. After 2022’s Scream rebooted the mayhem in Woodsboro with as much wit and fury as ever, the survivors are finally heading out of California and all the way across the country to New York City. Tara (Jenna Ortega), Mindy (Jasmin Savoy Brown), and Chad (Mason Gooding) are in college, while Tara’s big sis Sam (Melissa Barrera) has also settled down in the city to keep an eye on everyone. Yes, horror faithful, it’s true, the new kids have finally inherited the franchise. After taking a scaled-back role in the last outing, Sidney Prescott is finally nowhere to be seen (which is perhaps creatively justifiable, but has more to do with Neve Campbell’s financial dissatisfaction with what she was offered). But there are a couple of legacy characters on hand, with Gail Weathers (Courteney Cox) as indefatigable as ever, and Scream 4 breakout Kirby Reed (Hayden Panettiere) re-emerging as a battle-hardened FBI agent. And those youngsters are going to need all the help they can get, because this might just be the most brutal Ghostface yet.

What Made an Impression?: Scream has always been the most successful self-aware horror franchise, and with the fifth edition, it expanded its scope to reboots and toxic film culture at large. So where does that leave Scream VI to possibly go from here? The short answer: it’s the “sequel to the requel,” which could very well mean a remake of sorts of the first sequel. And like Scream 2, VI has the college setting and the potential for a revenge scheme. Other than that, the plot isn’t exactly repeated, but there’s only so much room to navigate if this series wants to proclaim anything that it hasn’t yet declared.

So with those restrictions in place, VI lives or dies by the strength of its kills and mystery. Regarding the former, it’s stunningly braven. The Ghostface murderers have never been shy about wantonly stabbing their way through the entire run time, but it hits a little differently in a setting as crowded as NYC. When a killer chases Tara and Sam into a bodega and proceeds to mutilate everyone in there, I’m mostly wondering how there aren’t immediately thousands of witnesses. Also, there’s a shotgun behind the counter, which I hope isn’t true of the bodegas I frequent, but now I’m a little concerned. On the other hand, a Ghostface attack on the subway hasn’t changed my mind about that mode of transport – it remains a hellhole that I’ll continue to proudly frequent as often as possible.

And in terms of the mystery, the same cardinal rule still applies: literally anyone could be one of the killers! Sure, the heroes from the previous films are probably exempt from suspicion, although Sam’s backstory as the daughter of O.G. Ghostface Billy Loomis at least teases the possibility that that may not be the case. But other than that, suspicion really is cast on everyone, and I continue to be amazed at this series’ knack for keeping us on our toes. As suspects are eliminated or present seemingly airtight alibis, we’re all left wondering who is possibly left to be the culprit. Without giving anything away, the ultimate reveal is thrilling, stylish, and delightfully choreographed.

But while we’re on the subject of spoilers, I’m happy to give away the fact that Josh Segarra, here introduced as a potential love interest for Sam, is just as much of a sweetie pie as he is on the Comedy Central sitcom The Other Two. (And in the interest of avoiding spoilers, I’ll reiterate that that may or may not have nothing or anything to do with whether or not he could be Ghostface.)

So where does Scream go from here? The floor has thus far proved to be incredibly durable, but can it endure indefinitely? The absence of Sidney is sorely felt, and the dialogue isn’t always as sharp as it’s been in the past, but there’s still plenty to love here. I’m reminded a bit of the Fast and Furious franchise, as Scream is showing off a knack for expansiveness and rebooting beloved characters as needed, although without any room (thus far) for resurrections or redemptions. So maybe Campbell could return some day. Maybe Ghostface will eventually go to space. Maybe there’ll be an avenging protector Ghostface who protects everyone from all the evil Ghostfaces. Whatever direction it goes, I’m pretty sure something interesting will happen.

Scream VI is Recommended If You Like: Taking a chance on a new direction while still maintaining a connection to the past

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Unmaskings

Movie Review Catch-Up: ‘Fall,’ ‘Spin Me Round,’ ‘Orphan: First Kill’

August 31, 2022

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What’s going to Fall? (CREDIT: Lionsgate)

Fall:

Starring: Grace Caroline Currey, Virginia Gardner, Mason Gooding, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Director: Thomas Mann

Running Time: 107 Minutes

Rating: PG-13

Release Date: August 12, 2022 (Theaters)

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‘Scream’ is Still Nailing the Horror Zeitgeist

January 12, 2022

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Scream 2022 (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Melissa Barrera, Jenna Ortega, Jack Quaid, Mikey Madison, Mason Gooding, Dylan Minnette, Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Marley Shelton, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Kyle Gallner, Sonia Ben Ammar, Roger L. Jackson

Directors: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett

Running Time: 114 Minutes

Rating: R for A Lot of Blood, and a Few Chats About Getting It On

Release Date: January 14, 2022 (Theaters)

The latest Scream movie is the fifth in the slasher series, but it’s not called “Scream 5.” Instead, it’s just called “Scream,” exactly like the very first entry. This is the latest example of an annoying trend in which sequels that also work as reboots to long-running franchises have the exact same title as the original, with 2018’s Halloween perhaps the most notorious example. I had convinced myself not to talk about the title in my review, figuring that it would be more interesting to focus on the content of the actual movie. But then I watched the movie, and it turned out that there’s a very good reason for that recycled title. Because this time around, the Woodsboro stabbing crew is aiming its knife at those franchise “requels” and all the other cinema that inspires a certain breed of toxic fandom.

More than 25 years after the first killing spree, you could be forgiven for wondering how there still could possibly be anyone connected to Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) with enough bloodlust to justify another sequel. The answer is that this time around, the motivation is less logical, and therefore more brutal and disturbing. You know the sorts of people who complain about how the likes of latter-day Star Wars and female-led Ghostbusters have destroyed their childhoods? What if they were so upset that they resorted to murder to set things right? That’s a premise that could conceivably stand on its own as an original horror flick, but it feels all too appropriate that instead it has commandeered one of the most beloved scary movie franchises of all time.

In some ways, this latest Scream is like an original effort, insofar as it focuses on the new faces ahead of the legacy characters much more so than any of the other adventures of Woodsboro. But of course, it’s still very much a part of the franchise insomuch as it follows the formula of a killer (or killers) lurking within a friend group of horny young people while terrorizing them with creepy phone calls. (Roger L. Jackson returns once again as the voice of Ghostface, and his deep cadence sounds a lot like the deep, steady tones of original Scream director Wes Craven, to the point that I wondered if Craven had before his 2015 passing recorded some dialogue to be used later.) Don’t worry too much about staleness, though, as there are some zigs when you expect zags, as characters either don’t know – or don’t care – about the rules that supposedly determine who dies and how in a horror movie. Co-directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett have a knack for keeping audiences on their toes like this, which they demonstrated amply in their 2019 bloodbath Ready or Not.

At times, the acting may skew a little more melodramatic than is advisable, but overall, Scream remains as remarkably fun and fresh as it’s ever been. Where originally there were conversations about how blade-wielders patiently stalk their victims, now we have discussions about how the newest generation of horror tastemakers are enthralled by “elevated horror” like The Babadook and Hereditary, and how long-in-the-tooth franchises need to find that sweet spot of “not too different, not too repetitive” to succeed. Scream 2022 finds that sweet spot, and goes in for the kill.

Scream (2022) is Recommended If You Like: Defending all the Scream sequels, Ready or Not, You’re Next, Talking with your fellow movie -obsessed friends, Film Twitter, Listening to and/or hosting movie podcasts

Grade: 4 out of 5 Requels

Movie Review: Nerds Realize That Good Grades and Partying Aren’t Mutually Exclusive in the Goofy and Sweet ‘Booksmart’

May 23, 2019

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CREDIT: Francois Duhamel/Annapurna Pictures

Starring: Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein, Noah Galvin, Billie Lourd, Skyler Gisondo, Jessica Williams, Jason Sudeikis, Lisa Kudrow, Will Forte, Mike O’Brien, Diana Silvers, Molly Gordon, Mason Gooding, Victoria Ruesga, Austin Crute, Eduardo Franco, Nico Haraga, Stephanie Styles

Director: Olivia Wilde

Running Time: 105 Minutes

Rating: R for Halting and Manic Attempts at Sex and Drug Use

Release Date: May 24, 2019

Here’s what I’ve learned from Booksmart and other recent high school-set movies and TV shows: all teenagers are smart these days. Maybe there are still some lazy slackers out there, but the conventional wisdom is that they’re the exceptions, and the new normal is that it’s cool to be a good student. This comes as a bit of a shock to Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) and Molly (Beanie Feldstein) on the eve of their graduation, who have spent four years buckling down, nose to textbook, only to look up and discover that their partying classmates also have decent enough transcripts to get into prestigious schools, including one who will be attending Yale alongside Molly. Now, I can buy that partying kids are smart, but two kids from the same high school both going to the same Ivy League institution? That might be a bridge too far. Although, the elite college admissions process can feel so random that just saying “[insert Ivy League school here]” works as shorthand to get the point across for Molly’s worldview to suddenly come tumbling down.

So with that setup, Molly and Amy decide that they’ve got to make up for all the fun they’ve unnecessarily been missing out the past four years by fitting in as much partying as possible the night before their graduation ceremony. It’s a somewhat novel setup for a fairly typical plot, as much of the night is spent getting to the party instead of actually being at the party (Molly and Amy, naturally enough, don’t know their classmate’s address). As is usually the case, the plot shenanigans are quite shaggy, which is sometimes amusing and sometimes a little too random (one drug-fueled animated sequence really comes out of nowhere). The differences come in the perspectives, with a decidedly female (and nerdy) perspective in front of and behind the camera (it’s Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut). But the typical emotional climax is still what you would expect (and be satisfied by). These movies so often steadily build to codependent friends screaming at each other, and we’ve got a doozy of a blowout here. It’s effective, but it also makes me want to see that rare high school party movie about teenage friends with a perfectly healthy relationship.

Booksmart is Recommended If You Like: Superbad, Blockers, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, 2000s SNL alumni

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Caps and Gowns