If You Can Imagine ‘IF,’ the IFs Will Come

May 16, 2024

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If, if, if, uh… (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures)

Starring: Cailey Fleming, Ryan Reynolds, John Krasinski, Fiona Shaw, Alan Kim, Steve Carell, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Liza Colón-Zayas, Bobby Moynihan, Louis Gosset Jr., Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Maya Rudolph, Jon Stewart, Sam Rockwell, Sebastian Maniscalco, Christopher Meloni, Awkwafina, Richard Jenkins, Blake Lively, George Clooney, Matthew Rhys, Bradley Cooper, Amy Schumer, Keegan-Michael Key

Director: John Krasinski

Running Time: 104 Minutes

Rating: PG for Mild Potty Humor and Imaginary Nudity

Release Date: May 17, 2024 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Ever since her mom died, 12-year-old Bea (Cailey Fleming) has pretty much forgotten how to have fun. It certainly doesn’t help that her dad (John Krasinski) is about to undergo heart surgery, though he tries to maintain her childlike wonder with his constant magic tricks and corny gags. While staying at the NYC apartment of her grandmother (Fiona Shaw), she encounters a couple of cartoon characters, as well as their seemingly human partner named Cal (Ryan Reynolds). As it turns out, they’re imaginary friends (or IFs, as they like to be abbreviated), and it’s highly unusual for someone of Bea’s age to be able to see them. But she could really use the power of imagination right now. Or maybe, these supernatural hypothetical creatures could really use the power of Bea right now.

What Made an Impression?: Tina Turner-ing Back the Clock: Baa eventually meets a whole crew of IFs in their hideaway on the Coney Island boardwalk. The encounter is fueled by IF‘s big set piece: an imagination-fueled dance number set to Tina Turner’s 1984 hit “Better Be Good to Me.” Honestly, it’s quite possibly my favorite cinematic choreography since Napoleon Dynamite let loose to some Jamiroquai 20 years ago. If you told me that IF was really just writer-director Krasinski’s excuse to make an entire movie around his own unique tribute to Turner, I would buy it. Such a film did not have to be about imaginary friends, but as it is, it worked out quite swimmingly.
Imaginary Friends, Real Motivation: I wasn’t expecting to tear up at IF, as all indications pointed to it being a simple sugar rush. But its final act lays its thesis out for the taking. As Bea’s journey would have it, imaginary friends aren’t mere fake companions; instead, they’re representations of our innermost desires. We might not be able to “see” them anymore after we grow up, but remaining in touch with them is essential to accomplish our dreams. In that sense, they’re essentially embodiments of everyone’s unique motivations. So the next time you look at a childhood photo or drawing that makes you suddenly remember a big purple monster or a talking ice cube, roll with it. A satisfying life might just depend on it.

IF is Recommended If You Like: Inside Out, Humorless kid protagonists, Tina Turner

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 IFs

‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem’ is a Mighty Good Time

August 1, 2023

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Mayhem in More Than Just a Half-Shell (CREDIT: Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies)

Starring: Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Nicolas Cantu, Brady Noon, Jackie Chan, Ayo Edebri, Ice Cube, Hannibal Burress, Rose Byrne, John Cena, Natasia Demetriou, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Maya Rudolph

Director: Jeff Rowe

Running Time: 100 Minutes

Rating: PG for Stylized Action Violence and Jokes with a Rude ‘Tude

Release Date: August 2, 2023 (Theaters)

What’s It About?: Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Raphael (Micah Abbey, Nicolas Cantu, Shamon Brown Jr., and Brady Noon, respectively) just want to spend more time living out of the sewers. Is that too much to ask?! Alas, their adoptive father Splinter (Jackie Chan) insists that they must remain in the shadows. He’s a walking and talking rat, and they’re walking and talking turtles, and all the evidence indicates that humans just aren’t ready to interact with mutated animals. But the boys are growing up, and New York City has plenty of delicious pizza. So when they befriend budding journalist April O’Neil (Ayo Edebiri), they really start to believe that humans are worth getting to know. And when they encounter a cadre of other mutants led by the giant housefly Superfly (Ice Cube) intent on taking over the surface world, they decide that they must become humanity’s protectors.

What Made an Impression?: Not Afraid to Be Scary: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a fascinatingly enduring franchise. What began as a reputedly dark comic book in the 80s turned into an inescapable cheesy phenomenon with the live-action 90s films. It was a supernova that burned out quickly, but it’s hung around with occasional reboots and several TV series. You don’t need to know any of that backstory to enjoy Mutant Mayhem. But you do have to be comfortable with some kid-targeted entertainment that isn’t afraid to get dark. The animation and the fantastical nature softens the edges a bit, but still, this is a movie where the threat of mutant-on-mutant and mutant-on-human violence is very real. Younger viewers might be spooked a bit, but they’ll appreciate how hardy the heroism feels.
Milking the Gags: The turtles are a bunch of adolescent jokesters, so any TMNT flick worth its ooze will deliver the laughs. Mutant Mayhem pulls this off by crafting its own yuks from the ground up. There’s one particularly satisfying running gag about whether or not the turtles can be milked. (They don’t have nipples! … Or do they?) Two of the producers and screenwriters are Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (the latter of whom also voices mutant warthog Bebop), and you can just feel how much they’ve been itching to put their own spin on these characters for quite some time. These aren’t just tossed-off quips and catchphrases, but zingers and character beats that reward you for paying attention.
Sliced-and-Diced Animation: The sharpness of the comedy meets its match in the animation, with every cel feeling like it’s been lovingly sliced by a katana blade. This is no standard-issue CG rendering; instead, deep thought has clearly been considered about what style fits the story’s personality. It’s an irreverent, adrenaline-filled adventure crossed with a neon sugar rush. Every pixel feels like it’s working, and the whole picture just undeniably pops on screen.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem is Recommended If You Like: Pizza, Viral puking videos, The Spider-Verse

Grade: 4 out of 5 Half-Shells

‘Licorice Pizza’ Invites Us to Come of Age, P.T. Anderson-Style

November 24, 2021

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Licorice Pizza (CREDIT: Paul Thomas Anderson/Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures)

Starring: Alana Haim, Cooper Hoffman, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, John Michael Higgins, Skyler Gisondo, Este Haim, Danielle Haim, Moti Haim, Donna Haim, Christine Ebersole, Sean Penn, Tom Waits, Bradley Cooper, Benny Safdie, Joseph Cross, Maya Rudolph

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Running Time: 133 Minutes

Rating: R for Some Indelicate Language

Release Date: November 26, 2021 (Theaters)/Expands December 25, 2021

When I hear the title “Licorice Pizza,” it makes me think of that classic Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen song about putting every conceivable topping you can think of on the top of the crust. I can’t help but shout, “Licorice? Put it on the pizza!” But as it turns out, the directorial approach of Paul Thomas Anderson vis-a-vis Licorice Pizza has basically nothing in common with the Olsen twins. That’s okay, though!

Instead, this movie has me feeling like Linda Richman, which is to say, “Licorice Pizza is neither licorice, nor pizza: discuss.” So discuss I will! A couple of kiddos named Alana (Alana Haim) and Gary (Cooper Hoffman) cross paths in 1973 in the San Fernando Valley and then strike up a sorta-friendship, maybe-romance, partnership-in-hustling. Gary’s an accomplished child actor, but when he meets up with Alana, they switch their focus to selling waterbeds. They eventually splinter off into their own interests, as they get involved with the likes of politics and pinball legalization, contend with a gas crisis, and meet a bunch of memorable characters along the way. It feels like Anderson wanted to make a movie about some of the touchstone moments of his youth (or toddlerhood – he was born in 1970) and created a couple of central characters who could Forrest Gump their way through it all. Not a bad idea if you have a knack for populating an ensemble cast full of an endless stream of oddballs and eccentrics.

One question I had throughout watching Licorice Pizza was:just how old are Alana and Gary really? She says she’s 25, and he says he’s 15, which sounds perfectly plausible at first. But it’s of course more than a little concerning that a twentysomething would be hanging out so much with a teenager. Although it doesn’t come across as creepy as it could, mostly because Gary feels a lot older than he ostensibly is. I suppose that’s the lot of the child actor, to mature faster than everyone else (in some ways). Furthermore, when you consider all the various business ventures that are launched and folded over the course of the runtime, it feels like multiple years must be passing. So I started to surmise that maybe Gary was a little older by the end of it all anyway. But actually, I’m pretty sure all this action somehow takes place within one year (or less!). Latchkey kids apparently could get away with a lot way back when. Or in Gary’s case, teenage adults could do pretty much whatever they wanted in the 70s. These are the discombobulating thoughts I had while watching this movie!

In conclusion, Licorice Pizza is more or less a series of chuckle-inducing zesty vignettes with a bent-but-bighearted emotional throughline. Worth checking out!

Licorice Pizza is Recommended If You Like: Old sitcom bits and other pop culture ephemera, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Sisters yelling at each other

Grade: 3.5 out of 5 Waterbeds

Jeff’s Wacky SNL Review: Maya Rudolph/Jack Harlow

March 28, 2021

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SNL: Jack Harlow, Maya Rudolph, Chris Redd (CREDIT: YouTube Screenshot)

When Maya Rudolph was announced as the host of the March 27, 2021 episode of Saturday Night Live, I mentioned to my dad that this was only her second time returning to host. Then I guessed that in addition to all that, she’s also probably made approximately another dozen guest appearances. But it turned out the actual total is about double that! Musical guest Jack Harlow, meanwhile, is here for the first time. As for me and the number of times I’ve watched this show, that’s gotta be in the thousands.

If someone told you that an SNL episode would start with a pretend game show, would you believe it? Well, you’d better believe it, because that’s exactly what happened in this episode! It’s called Snatched, Vaxed, or Waxed (Grade: 2.5/5 Marches), and I laughed at the name “Cece Vuvuzela.”

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I Liked These 5 Super Bowl LV Commercials

February 7, 2021

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People who are known for making me laugh made me laugh in these ads. Makes sense.

5. Bud Light Legends: I appreciate a sense of history.

https://youtu.be/zFfsO49AfzI

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We Need Some Candy on October 31. Do We Also Need ‘Hubie Halloween’?

October 12, 2020

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Hubie Halloween (CREDIT: Netflix)

Starring: Adam Sandler, Julie Bowen, June Squibb, Kevin James, Ray Liotta, Steve Buscemi, Maya Rudolph, Tim Meadows, Kenan Thompson, Rob Schneider, Michael Chiklis, Karan Brar, Noah Schnapp, Paris Berelc, Sadie Sandler, Sunny Sandler, George Wallace, Colin Quinn, Kym Whitley, Mikey Day

Director: Steven Brill

Running Time: 102 Minutes

Release Date: October 7, 2020 (Netflix)

I decided that I simply must have something to say about Hubie Halloween, since I hold so dearly Adam Sandler’s last-minute Halloween costume ideas on Weekend Update from back in the day. So the big question is: did this tale of Salem’s official Halloween monitor give me those same warm, sugary feelings?

The Sandman has busted that old Shabadoo-voice, so that certainly helps. But what’s up with all the kids in town (and some adults) pelting him with candy whatever chance they get? Hubie wants you to have a happy Halloween! It’s hard to do that when you’re sacrificing your own candy! Furthermore, in addition to all the mischief, there’s several attempted felonies, a fair degree of mental instability, and pretty much no attempt to reconcile that darkness with the purely comical tone.

Ultimately, in a weird way this is all in keeping with the spirit of last-minute costume ideas. Hubie Halloween feels like a last-minute movie that was quickly cobbled together from a bunch of silly Halloween-related ideas bouncing around in Sandler’s head. In conclusion, I found myself in a good mood after watching, and I’m happy to declare, once again, “Now give me some candy!”

Grade: 3 out of 5 Crazy Protractor Beards

This Is a Movie Review: ‘The Happytime Murders’ Combines Noir Mystery with Wonderfully Inventive Crude Puppet Gags

August 23, 2018

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CREDIT: Hopper Stone/STXfilms

This review was originally posted on News Cult in August 2018.

Starring: Bill Barretta, Melissa McCarthy, Maya Rudolph, Leslie David Baker, Elizabeth Banks, Joel McHale

Director: Brian Henson

Running Time: 91 Minutes

Rating: R for Raucous Puppet Sex, Loopy Puppet Drug Use, Constant Puppet and Human Profanity, and a Description of an Unspeakable Act Involving Rice Pilaf

Release Date: August 24, 2018

The advertising for The Happytime Murders has made a big deal about how out of the ordinary its existence is: puppets that are usually family-friendly about to get no-holds-barred dirty to an unprecedented degree! But the movie itself, with a typical noir-style murder mystery premise, is fairly unassuming. It’s not particularly hard-bitten, just accepting of the fact that certain and lewd and violent acts are known to happen in this world. It’s as if puppet-noir were a well-established cinematic genre, as Happytime Murders does not feel the need to explain itself, at least no more so than any other movie.

It is not as if audiences should be wholly unfamiliar with what director Brian Henson and company are trying to pull off, as Happytime has a great deal in common with a certain 1988 film called Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Both feature a human and a non-human partnering up to solve a series of murders that the non-human has been framed for, in a Los Angeles in which the human population lives uneasily alongside their neighbors from another medium. Both are more adult in their storytelling than the average Disney or Muppet concoction, but while Roger Rabbit is safe for most ages, Happytime decidedly is not. And while the latter can be enjoyed simply as a story of a cynical puppet private investigator trying to clear his name, the main reason to see it is why the kids cannot come.

The jokes about the anatomy, sexual predilections, and drug habits of puppets do not have the tenor of “Look how disgusting we can be!” Instead, they are the sort of clever, fully committed gags that examine a previously unexamined premise and then take the consequences to their most absurd conclusions. The climaxes are both explosive and filled with a deep well of laser-deployed knowledge. As P.I. Phil Philips, Bill Barretta (the current performer of Muppets like Swedish Chef and Pepe) gives about as much depth as possible to a puppet character. His crackling banter with Melissa McCarthy is filled with a loopy zest that can only come from looking at an askew world and keeping a straight face. Every cast member realizes something important, and it is why Happytime works as well as it does: this is all very silly, but we must commit to everything like the joy of the world depends on it.

The Happytime Murders is Recommended If You Like: Who Framed Roger Rabbit, A femme fatale walking into a P.I. office, The Muppets, Spy, The Heat

Grade: 3.75 out of 5 Puppet Carpets Matching the Drapes

SNL Recap December 19, 2015: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler/Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band

December 20, 2015

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SNL: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band (CREDIT: YouTube Screenshot)

This review was originally posted on Starpulse in December 2015.

“SNL’s” Christmas episodes often have a homecoming feel, insofar as good vibes are easier to come by than usual, and visits from old friends are part of the deal. Usually sports teams designate a winnable game as homecoming, because nobody wants to lose homecoming. So it only makes sense when the “SNL” Christmas lineup features as co-hosts two of the show’s most famous alums who have developed quite the comedic partnership, and as musical guest one of the most iconic rock stars of all time who has a beloved Christmas song in his arsenal. It would take a lot of effort to screw this one up.

Republican Presidential Debate – The GOP primary circus is a bit of a boon but also a formidable challenge for “SNL’s” political machine. The endless supply of candidates ensures plenty of buffoonery but makes for material that is by definition unfocused. Sketches that cruise through a menagerie of characters are reliable for a few laughs, but they are rarely classics. The best political moments have one or two star impressions. Who is the star of this sketch? Is it Darrell Hammond dropping in for his iconic Trump, Beck Bennett as a wimpy Jeb Bush, or is the star the lack of a true star? The best impression is probably Jay Pharoah’s Ben Carson, but he does not have the screen time to show for it. This is all to say, there is plenty of quality here, but it’s all just crowding each other out. B-

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SNL Recap February 18, 2012: Maya Rudolph/Sleigh Bells

February 19, 2012

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As always, Worst in Show went to Ralph.

Cold Opening – New York Sports Now
If this was an accurate representation, then I didn’t realize how Lin-sane these puns have been.  Instead of introducing the racial insensitivity aspect, I think I would have preferred if they would have just continued with the punning, which, while not particularly unique, would have been steadily goofy.  Instead, it settled into a stale formula. B-

Maya Rudolph’s Monologue
Another singing monologue?  Ah, well, I guess it’s Maya. B-

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